Advice for PD Days and School Closures?

[LovingDad1234]

What I am saying is that we just got into a separation agreement and she has already been hinting at wanting to make changes to it to weasel out of ever reaching 50/50. She will file for a change to the agreement when she decides she does not want to enter further stages of the graduated steps.

[rockscan]

She will have to demonstrate a material change which will not be easy to do.

Take a deep breath, remember you are dealing with a difficult person and remember your child.

Whenever she tries to change something you remind her of the agreement, what it allows you and then either ignore or politely decline her change.

[Janus]

Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines

I think this must be a mistake. I think you were trying to say if she picks up the kids and it is his time?

Yes, my error.

If she picks up the kids during his time, he can react at that point. He has subsequently indicated that he is more worried that she might change the agreement, which as rockscan pointed out, would be very difficult.

I think he is getting himself worked up over nothing. He has 50-50, it isn't changing.

[Tayken]

Originally Posted by LovingDad1234

What I am saying is that we just got into a separation agreement and she has already been hinting at wanting to make changes to it to weasel out of ever reaching 50/50. She will file for a change to the agreement when she decides she does not want to enter further stages of the graduated steps.

A change to an agreement requires a material change in circumstance. Wanting a change is not a material change in circumstances. Check up the complexity of what it takes to change an agreement. It's not easy and the onus falls on the person requesting the change to prove there has been a material change in circumstance first before anything else happens.

Most separated parents talk TOO MUCh about their children. The most successful 50-50 parents talk very little with each other. Over-communication leads to conflict.

[LovingDad1234]

Originally Posted by Tayken

Most separated parents talk TOO MUCh about their children. The most successful 50-50 parents talk very little with each other. Over-communication leads to conflict.

Great Advice. I feel that my ex is constantly trying to build their case. Knows that they were stuck with the agreement as I would have likely gotten better at trial, and therefore costs awarded. So now my ex is trying to build a case to get our agreement undone with new evidence/material.

Is there any guideline or list of things that present a "material change". My ex is very opinionated and would even file because "they strongly feel its better their way".

[Helpmyspouse]

What really gets me is the legal fees the other side makes you burn to defend something that will most likely go nowhere. Why does it have to cost so much money?? So much aggravation and only the lawyers win. Divorcing a high conflict dysfunctional spouse is bad enough as it is. Add how it will drain your bank account so that you may never recover financially when its all done... Because they eventually resurface for more and it never really my ends. It's like waiting for the other shoe to drop for the rest of your life. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. Stay strong and limit your contact with her.

[LovingDad1234]

Originally Posted by Helpmyspouse

Add how it will drain your bank account so that you may never recover financially when its all done... Because they eventually resurface for more and it never really my ends. It's like waiting for the other shoe to drop for the rest of your life.

Agreed. My ex had a sleezy legal-aid lawyer where it became obvious it would be joint custody and 50/50 parenting, as outlined by the OCL. Ex played hardball saying she disagreed with OCL Report----she is an expert all of a sudden? Knew what the outcome was going to be so dragged court out as long as possible, making me delay 50/50 as long as possible, knowing they were sinking me financially where I would not be able to afford a trial. So now I am out of the weeds court-wise but recovering financially from the court battle. Legal Aid lawyer vs non-legal aid lawyer is NOT a fair fight. Its like she had a blank cheque.

Knowing how disfunctional she is, she will try to weasel out of 50/50 at some point, with a non-sensical rationale that she feels strongly about. When the time comes, I will hold up a chart of all the PD days that I requested to spend time with our kids, and she said "nope" to demonstrate how she fails to promote the relationship between dad and kids.