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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #1  
Old 09-02-2019, 11:02 AM
Frostrated Frostrated is offline
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Default He's already on dating apps

Last night, a friend who is on Tinder messaged me a picture. It was my husband. He showed up on her match list and she freaked because it was a picture SHE had taken at our wedding! He's using our wedding picture as his profile! Not only that, he's under a fake name and he's lied about his age by eight years. Meanwhile, last night he kept emailing me saying he's so sorry for messing up and how he still loves me. I didn't say anything but it was very difficult. I don't want to be married but at the very least, I thought he would wait until moving out before trying to hook up with other women. I feel so worthless.
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  #2  
Old 09-02-2019, 11:06 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Let him hook up with someone else. Hopefully he leaves faster!

This guy is a psycho. Stop beating yourself up. The fact that you were kind and empathetic to him makes you a good person. Those are admirable qualities to have. Using you and lying makes him the bad person.

Shake your head and pray that he ropes in a sucker to take him off your hands!!
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  #3  
Old 09-02-2019, 11:11 AM
Frostrated Frostrated is offline
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At the time I felt so badly for him and I was so glad I was able to get him back on his feet. Now I just feel like a stupid moron who couldn't see past how wonderful he was to me and my kids. Idiot.
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Old 09-02-2019, 11:23 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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You are not an idiot. You believed him and he was manipulative. Good riddance!
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  #5  
Old 09-02-2019, 12:59 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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you should of just looked at your friend and said "I really do not care and if you see anything like this again, dont bother telling me". Honestly if he dates or not and if he lies about his age etc its really none of your business now. Just like if you were to start to date would be none of his business. Yes it isnt a good idea to do it when still living together but he can, plus let him be someone elses problem. At least if he is focusing on dating then he may focus less on you.

One has to wonder how good of a friend they are when they know what you are going through and basically just rubbed salt in the wound.

He will tell you he loves you etc, he is just trying to get you under his thumb again. He figured that you would beg him to stay and when you didn't, he was at a loss for what he could try and hold over you next to control you. You took his power away for a bit at least and he isn't use to it.

You cannot control what he does, you can only control your own actions and reactions.
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Old 09-02-2019, 09:47 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Let him hook up with someone else. Hopefully he leaves faster!

This guy is a psycho. Stop beating yourself up. The fact that you were kind and empathetic to him makes you a good person. Those are admirable qualities to have. Using you and lying makes him the bad person.

Shake your head and pray that he ropes in a sucker to take him off your hands!!


This.

All of this.
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Old 09-02-2019, 11:51 PM
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Janus Janus is offline
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What is the appropriate amount of time to wait?

Honestly, this is a good thing. If he somehow ends up in a relationship, you may find that his willingness to waste energy fighting you will be severely diminished.

Nothing stopping you from going on dating apps yourself, but I would wait until after the legal stuff is finished.
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Old 09-03-2019, 10:20 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
What is the appropriate amount of time to wait?

Honestly, this is a good thing. If he somehow ends up in a relationship, you may find that his willingness to waste energy fighting you will be severely diminished.

Nothing stopping you from going on dating apps yourself, but I would wait until after the legal stuff is finished.
https://www.advocatedaily.com/steven...ce-benmor.html
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Old 09-04-2019, 12:19 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
Great article. My ex went on a dating app and I printed it off including his attached photo. It’s full of lies ( says he’s divorced with no children). We are using this against him in arbitration to show he’s a lier and not a credible witness.

During my marriage I was actually hoping he’d have an affair so he wouldn’t be my problem anymore. Not possible for him as he’d have to be nice to somebody for an extended period of time. Threatening to kill somebody or their child, throwing their cell phone out the car window when driving, smashing things to pieces, road raging and chasing people down then running them off the road, none of these behaviours impress a new date. So he’s still single but I sure am planning to use his dating profile against him !
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Old 09-04-2019, 07:12 PM
Frostrated Frostrated is offline
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Yeah, I guess I'm just sad. I did love the man I married, but do not love the man he's become. I'm just kind of mourning the life I thought I was going to have with him. I'm going to focus on having a good life with my kids and I'm enjoying my new job.
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