Hi All,
Wanna start by saying thanks for all the advice and support this forum and group provides, it is extremely helpful to gain insights from others who found themselves in unnecessary battles.
As many read on my posts, my STBX is quite vindictive and uses the kids to hurt me for the fallout of our relationship. In her view, I should not see the kids 1 more minute than I should. No sick days, no PD days, drop the kids off at a friend of hers if she is unavailable for the exchange rather than hang onto them until she is available, stopped going to our church, you name it. It’s actually really petty and pathetic!
The latest episodes she is pulling is never bringing the kids to extracurricular activities such as soccer practice or karate on the weekends that I do not see them, because she knows I enjoy being and will be in the stands as a proud father watching and cheering. There is always a lame excuse at the last minute telling me why they will not be there and why not to bother showing up to watch. Knowing that I will be disappointed. She doesn’t want the kids to look up and see me, or be fond of their dad, or say that their dad is involved in the extras of their lives. I can guarantee all of you that I will never be the dad who’s kids complain that dad does not come to games, or school plays, or whatever. Yet SHE is the one denying them the activities and fun because SHE doesn’t want to see me. It has nothing to do with the kids, it had everything to do with her ‘sticking it to me’. Any advice? I am certainly keeping a journal of this behaviour should she ever try to weasel out of 50/50 where I can show she goes out of her way to restrict and limit my relationship with the kids.
Also, I fully understand that on her time, she can do what she wants. I will have equal parenting eventually and I will make sure to bring the kids to their activities. But honestly, her vindictive behaviour is at the expense of the kids what she is doing.
Thoughts of the forum certainly appreciated.
Wanna start by saying thanks for all the advice and support this forum and group provides, it is extremely helpful to gain insights from others who found themselves in unnecessary battles.
As many read on my posts, my STBX is quite vindictive and uses the kids to hurt me for the fallout of our relationship. In her view, I should not see the kids 1 more minute than I should. No sick days, no PD days, drop the kids off at a friend of hers if she is unavailable for the exchange rather than hang onto them until she is available, stopped going to our church, you name it. It’s actually really petty and pathetic!
The latest episodes she is pulling is never bringing the kids to extracurricular activities such as soccer practice or karate on the weekends that I do not see them, because she knows I enjoy being and will be in the stands as a proud father watching and cheering. There is always a lame excuse at the last minute telling me why they will not be there and why not to bother showing up to watch. Knowing that I will be disappointed. She doesn’t want the kids to look up and see me, or be fond of their dad, or say that their dad is involved in the extras of their lives. I can guarantee all of you that I will never be the dad who’s kids complain that dad does not come to games, or school plays, or whatever. Yet SHE is the one denying them the activities and fun because SHE doesn’t want to see me. It has nothing to do with the kids, it had everything to do with her ‘sticking it to me’. Any advice? I am certainly keeping a journal of this behaviour should she ever try to weasel out of 50/50 where I can show she goes out of her way to restrict and limit my relationship with the kids.
Also, I fully understand that on her time, she can do what she wants. I will have equal parenting eventually and I will make sure to bring the kids to their activities. But honestly, her vindictive behaviour is at the expense of the kids what she is doing.
Thoughts of the forum certainly appreciated.
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