Hi there. Pleasure to meet all of you. I have been reading this for the past few hours and would like your opinions on what my mother should expect from her divorce proceedings.
I would like to preface this message with some basic information. This question is not for me, but more so for my mother. She is 53 , Father is 53. Immigrants, no other family but us three. Her income ~ 85,000, His income 75,000. They own two properties jointly, matrimonial home and a investment property.
Father is alcoholic, abusive, I suspect he has mental issues that are undiagnosed. I am 26 years of age at the moment. I am a young professional and currently living at home with them two. One reason is to save up but more importantly I want to stay at home to protect her from him.
My mother has been in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship with my dad for about 26 years. There was a lot of physical violence when I was young. This continued on until we moved to canada. He once hit her while we were new in Ontario and ended up going to jail. My mother and I were put into a shelter. As you may have guessed, she inevitably reconciled with him. Though he has stopped being physically abusive, his emotional abuse is still very real. He has ostracized her from her family and friends to the point shes alone.
She has tried to leave him in the past 5 years several times. However, each and every single time he stalls everything and simply won't agree to anything. He does this by various means. Here are some examples;
i) He does not get a lawyer and chooses to self- represent himself
ii) He asks my moms lawyer for very lengthy amounts of time to gather information. I understand there should be leeway with times , however his game plan is to stall so she simply gives up.
iii) in his response to my mom's lawyer, he never outlines any next steps. Disagrees on everything she offers (more on this later)
iv) he has also sent drunk nasty emails to her lawyer as well.
Anyways, she filed for divorce about 5 years ago initially. He simple stalled everything and eventually my mom gave up and things went back to status quo.
This past winter - January 2019 - they had another fight in which she filed for separation and divorce again. I helped her find a lawyer and it all began again..
This time around things got very nasty. We live in a 3 person household and he was pretty much terrorizing her at home. He would get drunk, blare music , log into her computer, try to change her email passwords, do everything he can in order to make our lives hell. I was forced to call police on him on multiple separate occasions due the noise he was making but also his aggresive behavior towards me.
Anyways, my mom's lawyer, asked him to provide all financial statements to division of net property can proceed. He stalled this by about 5 months. He went on a month long vacation was drinking like an alcoholic the whole time and living at home was abysmal.
Come august he finally submitted his documents and since august they have been trying to finalize the separation. All this time he is trying to reconcile his relationship with her.
My father chose not to represent him self and my mom's lawyer has been sending him various offers (3 in total now). In each of these offers he simply refuses them and doesn't offer any solutions. He asked that she pay for his credit card debts ~10K and that he'll buy her out from the matrimonial home. While she was initially not interested in this we agreed that this may be her only chance to avoid court. So she offered to agree to his demands.
However, when my mom's lawyer sent him the new offer that was heavily skewed in his favor he rejected it because he wants more. This time he wants 100% support from my mom for the rest of his life , in case he gets sick and can't work. This will happen inevitably. He is an alcoholic, smoker and overweight.
Anyways, now she has to go to court as it seems there is no other way to work this through. I am beat and exhausted and my mom is in shambles. Our house situation is brutal and theres days id rather stay at work then come home.
My question to you guys' is , how to do you think his behaviour will play out ?
we told my mom's lawyer to file for court as its completely unreasonable.
Once he gets served papers for court? Can he drag the process on indefinitely as he has with my mom's lawyer? Is there any reprecussions for his behaviour ?
If he purposefully drags it out, what kind of costs are we to expect?
Thanks
I would like to preface this message with some basic information. This question is not for me, but more so for my mother. She is 53 , Father is 53. Immigrants, no other family but us three. Her income ~ 85,000, His income 75,000. They own two properties jointly, matrimonial home and a investment property.
Father is alcoholic, abusive, I suspect he has mental issues that are undiagnosed. I am 26 years of age at the moment. I am a young professional and currently living at home with them two. One reason is to save up but more importantly I want to stay at home to protect her from him.
My mother has been in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship with my dad for about 26 years. There was a lot of physical violence when I was young. This continued on until we moved to canada. He once hit her while we were new in Ontario and ended up going to jail. My mother and I were put into a shelter. As you may have guessed, she inevitably reconciled with him. Though he has stopped being physically abusive, his emotional abuse is still very real. He has ostracized her from her family and friends to the point shes alone.
She has tried to leave him in the past 5 years several times. However, each and every single time he stalls everything and simply won't agree to anything. He does this by various means. Here are some examples;
i) He does not get a lawyer and chooses to self- represent himself
ii) He asks my moms lawyer for very lengthy amounts of time to gather information. I understand there should be leeway with times , however his game plan is to stall so she simply gives up.
iii) in his response to my mom's lawyer, he never outlines any next steps. Disagrees on everything she offers (more on this later)
iv) he has also sent drunk nasty emails to her lawyer as well.
Anyways, she filed for divorce about 5 years ago initially. He simple stalled everything and eventually my mom gave up and things went back to status quo.
This past winter - January 2019 - they had another fight in which she filed for separation and divorce again. I helped her find a lawyer and it all began again..
This time around things got very nasty. We live in a 3 person household and he was pretty much terrorizing her at home. He would get drunk, blare music , log into her computer, try to change her email passwords, do everything he can in order to make our lives hell. I was forced to call police on him on multiple separate occasions due the noise he was making but also his aggresive behavior towards me.
Anyways, my mom's lawyer, asked him to provide all financial statements to division of net property can proceed. He stalled this by about 5 months. He went on a month long vacation was drinking like an alcoholic the whole time and living at home was abysmal.
Come august he finally submitted his documents and since august they have been trying to finalize the separation. All this time he is trying to reconcile his relationship with her.
My father chose not to represent him self and my mom's lawyer has been sending him various offers (3 in total now). In each of these offers he simply refuses them and doesn't offer any solutions. He asked that she pay for his credit card debts ~10K and that he'll buy her out from the matrimonial home. While she was initially not interested in this we agreed that this may be her only chance to avoid court. So she offered to agree to his demands.
However, when my mom's lawyer sent him the new offer that was heavily skewed in his favor he rejected it because he wants more. This time he wants 100% support from my mom for the rest of his life , in case he gets sick and can't work. This will happen inevitably. He is an alcoholic, smoker and overweight.
Anyways, now she has to go to court as it seems there is no other way to work this through. I am beat and exhausted and my mom is in shambles. Our house situation is brutal and theres days id rather stay at work then come home.
My question to you guys' is , how to do you think his behaviour will play out ?
we told my mom's lawyer to file for court as its completely unreasonable.
Once he gets served papers for court? Can he drag the process on indefinitely as he has with my mom's lawyer? Is there any reprecussions for his behaviour ?
If he purposefully drags it out, what kind of costs are we to expect?
Thanks
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