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  • What Has to Be Done In A Trial - Self-Represented

    Hi,

    I'm going to trial for 5 days next week and I am self-represented. While I still can't believe I'm divorcing, I am. And I have 5 kids that are being put through a ringer for the 2nd year, thanks to an unstable wife that I somehow love(d). Despite sharing a low income from my job, she got Legal Aid and I was refused.

    Can I get people's experiences from what had to be done in court? For example, are submissions required and if so, what had to be submitted? How long are opening comments? Have you ever had the Justice cut you off for going on too long? Was there anything that really pissed off the Justice? Do you have any Alberta specific advice? If you got sole custody or joint, was there any key factor the Justice cared about or a key law/case law that helped?

  • #2
    I just went through it, I was self-rep after 2 years of notta happening, and don't get me wrong I adored my lawyer. I was the respondent, mom of 3 great boys now almost 18 (twins) and a almost 13 year old, he basically abandoned, lied and caused all this BS to impress Chicky, now wants all sorts of access to the little one( he is now 6ft tall LOL)....I had really no time to prepare for real..went in for last ditch conference to settle.....they wanted more OCL involvement.to observe him with little one at his moms home where he lives now after having baby with Chicky who already has 3 others by 2 dads BLAH BLAH.....after 4 years enough...I have no issue with him being with his son as long as it is my sons choice.....at 13 he should get to decide....okay so enough back story....avoid court if at all possible.....keeping the children's best interests at heart of course...as I said I was kind of ready but not for the vultures.....if you are the respondent...wait, you don't have to make an opening statement and search this site for a great document that is handed out to self litigants in Ontario. Exclude all witness from the courtroom.be calm and listen to how the lawyer for the other side does things.take notes on the things you want to cross examine on but have some of your own questions ready.....stick to the facts and the issues.....dont be overwhelmed with being hurt by the bad things they say about you....it doesn't have to become nasty....hold your head high, say what you think is fair and right and be compromising...if they try to rip you as the bad one you will look all the better for being graceful and calm. This site has helped me in more ways then I can say so do your homework, it is worth it and stay strong for your kids....make it peaceful as you can...

    Comment


    • #3
      Hate to say it but I don't think you will do very well as you appear to be totally unprepared. I'd try to get the whole thing put off to a later date until you do your homework and have the confidence you will need to do what you have to do.

      Comment


      • #4
        arabian is 100 percent right....we dont know enough about what the details are and you should do homework and be prepared...like get a firm idea of the issues..etc....and stick to them....who is the applicant/ respondent makes a difference on the onus of proof....which is on the applicant....so give us more detail to help you....

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        • #5
          I'm in Alberta. Are you sure you are going to trial with no prior submissions? Or are just going to a docket court? QB or Provincial?

          What are your issues?

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          • #6
            Tons of issues, been in court thanks to STBXW over 10 times in a year. I'm not asking for "what should I do".
            (Thanks for your experiences Cynthia10)

            Rather, if someone can share their experiences so I can better prepare emotionally. I'd also love to know about experiences that can help me re-examine how to go to court against someone I don't want to hurt (even though she loves hurting me).

            It's a divorce/mat property, so it's in QB. There are tons of affidavits and other things on file, but it is 'viva voce' (spoken).

            Comment


            • #7
              In court over 10 times in a year???? I have to say this is why I detest self-represented people. Judges seem to think they have to be extra lenient with the self-represented and all it does is clog the courts and run up the opposing counsel bills. If you've been to court "over 10 times in a year" then you're obviously doing something wrong. For a start, if you already haven't don it,request case management and then your endless applications will go to just one judge and that judge can rein you in.

              Sounds like by the time you're through clogging the court system your children will be grown up and out on their own.

              If you want to be prepared brace yourself for (hopefully) getting a judge with some sense who will put you in your place.

              Yikes!

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by arabian View Post
                In court over 10 times in a year???? I have to say this is why I detest self-represented people.
                What the hell is wrong with you? No wonder you're on a divorce forum.

                FYI - they were my wife's Legal Aid lawyer's applications and 4 of them happened in one month.

                Jeez. Get a life "arabian".

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                • #9
                  Well given that he is self rep and has "tons of issues" and is asking for advice one week before trial and not even advice on "what he should do" but only how to get "emotionally prepared" to keep on fighting, I guess we get the picture.

                  What he should do is hire a lawyer.

                  A trained mediator or arbitrator would have been cheaper and faster.

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                  • #10
                    Could you name the Alberta justices that you have been in front of - I'm keenly interested in which ones have "passed the buck" with your case and not had you on case management. Disgusting waste of our tax dollars, your emotional energy and only enhances a poisonous relationship between you and your ex. What a waste of time.... what a waste of your life.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by beebie View Post
                      to keep on fighting, I guess we get the picture. .
                      I didn't say I wanted to keep fighting...and I'm pretty sure I said I didn't have money for a lawyer...

                      Maybe you and Arabian should learn how to READ before you hit reply.

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                      • #12
                        Hey YOU ARE ON A DIVORCE FORUM AS WELL ASSHOLE!

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                        • #13
                          Remember - he is self represented so it costs him practically nothing. Cost is borne by the good old taxpayer. He did say he was "in court over 10 times in a year" didn't he?

                          Idiot

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                          • #14
                            I think it's idiotic to assume that the 10 court appearances were unnecessary or the "fault" of any one person.

                            Arabian, the attitude you project in this thread stinks.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by AdTheDad View Post
                              Hi,

                              I'm going to trial for 5 days next week and I am self-represented. While I still can't believe I'm divorcing, I am. And I have 5 kids that are being put through a ringer for the 2nd year, thanks to an unstable wife that I somehow love(d). Despite sharing a low income from my job, she got Legal Aid and I was refused.

                              Can I get people's experiences from what had to be done in court? For example, are submissions required and if so, what had to be submitted? How long are opening comments? Have you ever had the Justice cut you off for going on too long? Was there anything that really pissed off the Justice? Do you have any Alberta specific advice? If you got sole custody or joint, was there any key factor the Justice cared about or a key law/case law that helped?
                              Search for posts from fieldgrey, and workingdad. these two have recently been through it and posted some of their thoughts/experiences.

                              I have trial looming as well. This will be my second go at it. First time around I settled the day of trial - and six months later my ex is hauling me back as she just can't seem to figure out she already won.

                              What I do recall (even without actually going to trial) is that I was very intimidated by the fact my ex had a legal aid lawyer and I did not. Emotions were very high for me the two weeks leading up as I scrambled to get ready.

                              Best advice I can give is make use of stress relief tactics. Hit the gym - try to break your bench-press max that week. Include some healthy (and very manly) yelling and shouting as you push that bar up. Don't forget to curse profanely. Thats stress relief.
                              Last edited by wretchedotis; 04-30-2012, 11:00 AM.

                              Comment

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