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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #11  
Old 10-30-2019, 01:39 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
The first thing my husband did after divorce was figure out how much he may be on the hook for and dumped it into an RESP. He got all the grant money. His ex is LIVID that he did this as her share of the expense is high and she has been adamant that the kids pay very little. Jokes on her now though as the judge said husband doesnít have to pay more than he is obligated and his RESP is his to use.
Yeah- we took care of that in the final order as well- how RESPs are to be used and distributed. Settlement into joint- and remaining contribution room to be split evening so each parent gets 1/2 the grant each year.

Joint RESP comes off the top in the first year- the extra, and the subsequent years, are to be split as a section 7 expense.

I'll say this- I think/hope he won't drain his RESP for D3 before she needs it. And she should be set up for her first degree with what we've contributed to the joint + our own RESPs.

That being said- I'm still assuming I am going to be responsible for her post secondary education.
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  #12  
Old 10-30-2019, 01:51 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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It shouldnít be so bad if you are smart and teach your daughter to be smart. Encourage her to get a job and put part of her paycheque away each week. Also encourage her to make smart decisions about her education. The beauty of your situation is she is young and can learn.

For my husband his kids were already teenagers and his ex had already taught them that they can do what they want with no consequences. They then went on to overspend on ďexpensesĒ, spend all their employment income and make stupid decisions that cost more. His ex then decided that they both should take out loans and cover the cost for the kids. Now she has led them to believe they are in debt because he wonít pay.
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  #13  
Old 10-30-2019, 02:02 PM
seeker101 seeker101 is offline
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I had also opened a joint (not group) RESP at a major bank for our daughter. After separation, ex unilaterally withdrew all the money and closed the account. Thankfully, we had just opened it and there was only ~$500 in it.

I'm also not a fan of group plans with their higher fees and usually lower returns. So now, I would rather just open my own RESP with a bank or brokerage and periodically buy a target date mutual fund, which automatically moves funds into lower risk instruments as child turns 18.

The only thing I'm not sure of is how my RESP contributions would offset s7 expenses once child goes to university.

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  #14  
Old 10-30-2019, 02:11 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Originally Posted by seeker101 View Post
I had also opened a joint (not group) RESP at a major bank for our daughter. After separation, ex unilaterally withdrew all the money and closed the account. Thankfully, we had just opened it and there was only ~$500 in it.

I'm also not a fan of group plans with their higher fees and usually lower returns. So now, I would rather just open my own RESP with a bank or brokerage and periodically buy a target date mutual fund, which automatically moves funds into lower risk instruments as child turns 18.

The only thing I'm not sure of is how my RESP contributions would offset s7 expenses once child goes to university.

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The lower returns part is true- but the higher fees part isn't totally accurate. Many bank RESPs have lower fees at the start- but it increases proportionately to the principle. Also with the CST- they do refund a portion of the fees to the child each year during school.

The part where group RESPS stink is IF you have to withdraw the funds for emergencies, etc. You get brutalized. We both realized that. However, I'm lucky that the amount we have to put into the joint RESP is a really healthy amount and neither of us will be able to withdraw it. They were the only ones that would set it up like this. My parents' financial advisor (who works for TD) told me I'm better off using the CST for that purpose alone. My ex has previously forged my signature, taken me off joint accounts and all manors of shady stuff. I wasn't about to take the risk of with him.
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  #15  
Old 10-30-2019, 02:19 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seeker101 View Post
The only thing I'm not sure of is how my RESP contributions would offset s7 expenses once child goes to university.

Your RESP is yours to use for your share of the costs.

Based on case law, legal advice and instructions from a judge specifically on the grant money, your investment is absolutely yours. You split the cost of the eligible expenses accordingly and you use what you want from your RESP.

If you donít have enough for the length of their education, I suggest you split it evenly and then kick in your savings/earnings. That way you arenít broke by the end of the degree.
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  #16  
Old 10-30-2019, 04:25 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Originally Posted by dad2bandm View Post
FYI, sounds like you already have this planned, and perhaps the RESP stuff, was even outlined in some agreement or order...?


But, personally, I would not contribute to a JOINT RESP. Nothing stops you from opening your own RESP, for your child, and making your contributions there. (not wanting to rock the boat...)
sorry- I missed this. Yes- it's a joint RESP. It was part of our settlement- instead of arguing about how much he owed me in equalization- I agreed to a lesser amount to be put entirely into an RESP for our daughter. I should've insisted it be in my name. But meh- it's fine. With the CST account- no changes can be made without both of our signatures, and in person.

I would have my own RESP for her- IF I had her SIN. Which- and this is my fault as I have all her papers together in a folder- I didn't realize I was missing. I've been putting aside her dad's CS for her for the last year. With the thought of putting it into an RESP. But now...I dunno. I only have $12.5K contribution limit. I think I might open another mutual fund savings account for her. I have to do some research.
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  #17  
Old 10-30-2019, 06:12 PM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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This thread got me thinking (sorry I will try to hijack this as little as possible)

When our daughter was born my exís father and stepmom opened an RESP for her. I vaguely remember filling out some paperwork. I also remember the stipulation they made for this account was that it was to remain in my/their control (his dad/stepmom told me outright that they didnít 100% trust him- oh heeeeyyyy red flags!)
They have moved away since our split and I have no clue how to get in touch with them. How would I go about finding out if this RESP still exists?
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  #18  
Old 10-30-2019, 06:24 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Do they not talk to their grandkids?

Do you have paperwork?

I would attempt to reach out to them and/or the financial advisor/bank. They would have to either give the kids the grant money or return it to the govt.

If they were talking to their son, they could give it to him for his portion but need proof of enrollment to withdraw anything.
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  #19  
Old 10-30-2019, 08:56 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Selfrepmom View Post
This thread got me thinking (sorry I will try to hijack this as little as possible)



When our daughter was born my exís father and stepmom opened an RESP for her. I vaguely remember filling out some paperwork. I also remember the stipulation they made for this account was that it was to remain in my/their control (his dad/stepmom told me outright that they didnít 100% trust him- oh heeeeyyyy red flags!)

They have moved away since our split and I have no clue how to get in touch with them. How would I go about finding out if this RESP still exists?


Hijack away.

I think CRA also keeps track of this. I bet you could find out from them.


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  #20  
Old 10-30-2019, 10:14 PM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Have a grandparent open an RESP and put everything in there. Easiest solution. As for the SIN number. You can request a copy.
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