Does filing your agreement/order with FRO ramp up conflict?

[Mom 2 Two]

I would file it!! My ex paid his cs somewhat on time. I would have to ask him for it at each drop off. If I didn’t ask. I didn’t receive. I always waited till kids were in the car. And he would just stand there awkwardly trying to talk. Then when gf came around it started by e trfr. But again sporadic. My agreement says weekly amount.

He tried to all of a sudden start paying monthly. But didn’t know how to calculate weekly x 52 weeks/12 months. So he started to short pay cs. That’s when I had enough. And sent it to fro. I was scared. All the horrible stories I heard. But best thing I ever did. Once you file remember to not accept any money from him as it messes up the date of collection. I sent my package registered mail so I know it got there. And there was two weeks overlap if which I had to inform fro of.

But after about 2 months my support comes every Monday like clockwork.


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[rockscan]

You gave him an opportunity to be reasonable and he refuses so file the order. When he bitches you simply state “I gave you the opportunity to pay me directly, you refused. This is your problem now.”

You can submit a statement of arrears to FRO with the calculation of the expenses clearly written on it.

Might smarten him up. Husband was up in arms when he got the letter but now he realizes she has to wait for the money to be processed so he is all for it!

[arabian]

MEP/FRO can be quite useful if someone has arrears. To my surprise I received a few thousand dollars deposited into my account that I was not expecting. This is not the monthly payment that I always receive. I have no idea where it originated from, just that MEP obtained the money on my behalf. This has happened before.

Envision a future were the person who owes you money has to wine and bitch and negotiate with FRO instead of you.

I don't understand why everyone doesn't go through FRO. Removes a lot of drama.

[pinkmorganite]

Your agreement looks well laid out for the section 7 expenses, including the specific things. Worth a try with FRO. (People have said if it is by % and not dollar amounts they have had no luck though)

FRO has Pros and Cons. They are notorious for making mistakes, not following things correctly, can take months to get corrected. But it is nice not having to deal with your ex for!

[dad2bandm]

Originally Posted by iona6656

Our agreement reads,

XX. Commencing September 1, 2019, the Applicant shall pay 40% of the D3's special or extraordinary expenses, which expenses include:
(a) D3's Montessori school tuition for the school years of 2019-2020, 2020-2021 and 2021-2022; including school uniforms, lunches, school trips, March Break and summer camp;
(b) two extra-curricular activities, the annual of costs of both activities not to exceed $2,000 per year;
(c) D3's nonprescription medicated creams as recommended by her pediatric dermatologist;
(d) D3's non-insured medical and dental expenses;
(e) D3's before and after school care

Section 7 expenses, aside from those listed above, must be on consent.

It goes on to say how section 7s should be calculated. And how they should be paid (to the service provider if possible, if not- it sets out the timeline of payment), etc etc etc...

Who came up with this part of your agreement? Was this actually ordered by a judge, or was this just some agreement both of you consented to, and signed off on (and filed)? I'm guessing the latter. I can't see FRO being able to enforce some of this, especially if you have wording about "paying to the service provider", and not having dollar amounts for some.



Some of this is *not* section 7, despite phrasing it as such.


ex.

(a) D3's Montessori school tuition for the school years of 2019-2020, 2020-2021 and 2021-2022; including school uniforms, lunches, school trips, March Break and summer camp;


school tuition for Montessori school - yes, section 7


uniform - doubtful - maybe, maybe not depending on costs of required uniforms, and your respective incomes.



lunches - Adhoc daily lunches like every parent has to provide their kid? No. Are you forced to subscribe to some food program at the school cost? Then maybe.



school trips - cost? Probably not. Local field trips for a few dollars. No.

School camp across the country, for some special educational retreat - maybe yes then. End of year big travel trip or camp - maybe?



(b) two extra-curricular activities, the annual of costs of both activities not to exceed $2,000 per year;



Maybe, depending on the costs of such activities, and given what both of your incomes are. Capped at 2,000 a year, so I'm guessing average or lower incomes. If you were both pulling in excess of 100,000 a year, I would say no. Swimming lessons? Learn how to swim lessons? No. Your kid is training in competitive swimming, and has swim meets, etc. Maybe.



(c) D3's nonprescription medicated creams as recommended by her pediatric dermatologist;



- they aren't prescription. So not technically section 7.


(d) D3's non-insured medical and dental expenses;

Yes.

(e) D3's before and after school care

If required for parents to work/be employed, yes.


Good luck on collecting either way. I think I would choose to use FRO as well, if I had an uncooperative other parent, who was required to pay, and was not. Make it someone else's headache for the most part.

[iona6656]

Originally Posted by dad2bandm

Who came up with this part of your agreement? Was this actually ordered by a judge, or was this just some agreement both of you consented to, and signed off on (and filed)? I'm guessing the latter. I can't see FRO being able to enforce some of this, especially if you have wording about "paying to the service provider", and not having dollar amounts for some.



Some of this is *not* section 7, despite phrasing it as such

Yes, it was part of an endorsed Minutes of Settlement- that’s now a final order.

The part about paying to the service provider says we both have to agree to that or else respondent (me) pays and applicant reimburses within 10 business days after delivery of receipts.

[Selfrepmom]

To answer your original question:

It ramped up conflict for me big time. But I’ll take some short term conflict over long term peace of mind any day.

For the Fall expenses.... I would go after his portion. I think I recall that your ex is an accountant? Isn’t it a basic accounting practice to account for the expense once it has occurred? (Ie if you pay for something in July that doesn’t actually occur until October, you record that as an October expense). This shouldn’t be a foreign concept to him.

[Lemongirl]

In having direct experience with extra curricular activities, swimming lessons are not considered S7 unless it’s specifically noted in your order. It is a low cost activity unless your child is planning on being an Olympian. I’m not trying to be harsh at all, but if I were you I would just pay it and not expect or fight with him to contribute. My order clearly states my ex pays towards extra curricular activia and in exchange for that he receives a 5% deduction in child support as decided by a judge. I hope this helps.

[iona6656]

Thanks for all the feedback everyone.

The overwhelming answer seems to be "Yes- it will eventually put you back in court".

I don't want that.

So- I suck it up, and let it go.

He paid for some of her uniforms. The ones I bought after September 1 (the execution date of our Minutes). And none of the swimming, because I paid before September 1.

The way I look at it- he should be paying for some of her activities yes. But he *should* be a good dad too- and I can't force him to be that either. It's up to him. And if I'm the custodial parent- and I'm saying that "I got this. I can raise her well"- then it's up to me to provide all the extra stuff. I can complain and fight him- or I can make sure I budget for her stuff and extra curricular activities. I think I'm probably going to end up letting all section 7s go- except for medical and dental, not covered by insurance.

I also have to gear up to get him to agree to help me with her OIT. I'll use our PC hours to get the PC to help me with getting him to agree to help pay for it.