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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 05-20-2018, 04:01 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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what was the decision that you made on your parenting time that he has an issue with?
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  #12  
Old 05-20-2018, 04:09 PM
Ange71727 Ange71727 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
what was the decision that you made on your parenting time that he has an issue with?


I made a joint account with her on a social media site (not Facebook) so I could help her learn how to be safe on it and we could explore it together. So far itís gone extremely well. He asked to have access to it which I gave him. He then proceeded to try to have it shut down. I had to contact the site and have it reinstated and told him my parenting time, my decision. The irony is, he also has let her sign up to a different social media site that he controls (I have no access). He has an issue with this particular one.
He just wants to control every little thing. So he is retaliating now.


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  #13  
Old 05-20-2018, 04:17 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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Originally Posted by Ange71727 View Post
I made a joint account with her on a social media site (not Facebook) so I could help her learn how to be safe on it and we could explore it together. So far itís gone extremely well. He asked to have access to it which I gave him. He then proceeded to try to have it shut down. I had to contact the site and have it reinstated and told him my parenting time, my decision. The irony is, he also has let her sign up to a different social media site that he controls (I have no access). He has an issue with this particular one.
He just wants to control every little thing. So he is retaliating now.


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you did nothing wrong. If he has her let her sign up to other social media sites then he has nothing to complain about.
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  #14  
Old 05-20-2018, 09:45 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Well donít we all run that risk when we post ANYTHING on here?! We all get reamed out by the people who donít share our view. I asked it to see what people have done in similar situations.
What is even the point of a separation agreement?? Jerk exes know that petty, ďminuteĒ things wonít be grounds for court, so they just get to freely be assholes to their children? It just sucks and is frustrating because (b above) no, I am not the only one getting upset by it...the kids are too.


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My partner asks this all the time. ďWhy bother with an agreement?Ē And the answer is, because they have to and they know they can ignore it. Its really unfortunate he chooses to act this way.
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  #15  
Old 05-23-2018, 09:49 AM
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Janus Janus is offline
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Did you even read this post??
Just because I have more than 60% it doesnít mean I am not entitled to communication with my kids.

I think it is telling that you describe the situation in terms of your entitlements.


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But thatís ok? Because she should forget about her mother because the timesharing isnít equal?
In what world is "not texting" equivalent to "forgetting about her mother"? Save the hyperbole for your sympathetic mommy groups, it doesn't work on me.


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Give your head a shake Janus.
I am shaking my head, mostly at the fact that the forum didn't come down hard on a mother who insists on helicoptering her kid during the father's restricted time with the child.


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I canít wait to hear how you will spin that one in their dadís favour though.
To be clear, I think the father is wrong. He should let your kids text you. However, that is his decision to make, not yours. The father gets to decide how his kids spend their time during his parenting time. That is the quintessential parenting duty after all...
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  #16  
Old 05-23-2018, 05:18 PM
Ange71727 Ange71727 is offline
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Originally Posted by Janus View Post
I think it is telling that you describe the situation in terms of your entitlements.



In what world is "not texting" equivalent to "forgetting about her mother"? Save the hyperbole for your sympathetic mommy groups, it doesn't work on me.



I am shaking my head, mostly at the fact that the forum didn't come down hard on a mother who insists on helicoptering her kid during the father's restricted time with the child.



To be clear, I think the father is wrong. He should let your kids text you. However, that is his decision to make, not yours. The father gets to decide how his kids spend their time during his parenting time. That is the quintessential parenting duty after all...


So by this logic, I should be able to deny my kids the chance to talk to their dad too. Even though he has less than 40% parenting time. My time, my prerogative right Janus? But you know what that would make me? That would make me a dick. And Iím not. Therefore I do allow the kids to text him when theyíd like. They FaceTime him just about every morning and text at night.
They ask their dad when they are at his house if they can communicate with me and he lays the guilt trip or tells them no. My kids have both come to me to complain about this as it bothers them. Is that looking out for their best interests? Itís looking out for dadís best interests for sure....
So by your incredibly flawed logic, the next time a dad comes on here complaining about his ex wife not allowing communication between him and the kids youíre going to post your unwavering support for her freedom to do what she wishes on her parenting time then? He should just stop helicoptering because who cares what the kids want. Right?
But then youíd need to revoke your membership in the angry dadís club.


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  #17  
Old 05-23-2018, 09:42 PM
ele110 ele110 is offline
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Shame on your ex and the g/f for using the kids to 'punish' you .
This said, there is little the court or you can do about this.
I know how upsetting this must be (I would be very upset too). However, try to take it easy, relax, and as long as the kids are safe, enjoy your free time and the satisfying thought that you are no longer sharing your life with this freak.

Also...enjoy the thought of how this is going to play out when the kids grow up and the father tries to keep teenagers away from the wifi and cell phones!
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  #18  
Old 05-23-2018, 09:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ange71727 View Post
So by this logic, I should be able to deny my kids the chance to talk to their dad too. Even though he has less than 40% parenting time. My time, my prerogative right Janus? But you know what that would make me? That would make me a dick. And Iím not. Therefore I do allow the kids to text him when theyíd like. They FaceTime him just about every morning and text at night.
They ask their dad when they are at his house if they can communicate with me and he lays the guilt trip or tells them no. My kids have both come to me to complain about this as it bothers them. Is that looking out for their best interests? Itís looking out for dadís best interests for sure....
So by your incredibly flawed logic, the next time a dad comes on here complaining about his ex wife not allowing communication between him and the kids youíre going to post your unwavering support for her freedom to do what she wishes on her parenting time then? He should just stop helicoptering because who cares what the kids want.

Yep. He's a dick, and you aren't. He limits device usage and communication, and you don't. The kids will learn that people are different, households are different, and lessons taught by parents are different. His controlling their communication may backfire on him someday, or maybe the kids will learn restraint in their online communication. Who knows.


Meanwhile, you send messages when you want, and they'll see them later.
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  #19  
Old 05-23-2018, 10:23 PM
Ange71727 Ange71727 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ele110 View Post
Shame on your ex and the g/f for using the kids to 'punish' you .

This said, there is little the court or you can do about this.

I know how upsetting this must be (I would be very upset too). However, try to take it easy, relax, and as long as the kids are safe, enjoy your free time and the satisfying thought that you are no longer sharing your life with this freak.



Also...enjoy the thought of how this is going to play out when the kids grow up and the father tries to keep teenagers away from the wifi and cell phones!


Iím trying not to make a big deal about it. I donít make them feel stressed about not texting me because I donít want them to feel like theyíre disappointing me by not being able to do so. I just tell them itís ok. But they arenít stupid. They know that itís not ok for one parent to control this. As satisfying as it would be for the whole karma thing to come around and bite him, itís my kids who lose because a)they are denied what they are asking for and b) theyíre on their way to realizing dadís a jerk. Thatís a sad realization.


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  #20  
Old 05-23-2018, 10:36 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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My partners ex would text and call constantly while they were with him. To the point where he wanted to institute a no cell phone rule at the table. The dinner table! He was so frustrated and upset by the constant need to communicate with the kids when he only got 48 hours every other month or even every four to six months. Yet she played the game of ďtheyre busyĒ or ďtheir phones/computer are brokenĒ etc. Its really unfortunate how some divorced parents can be such jerks about communication. It will come back to bite him in the end. Count on that.
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