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  • New addition to the family?

    Good day folks. In need of some advice.

    My partner and I have been together for well over 3 years, have an amazing little family and are unbelievably happy .. and in love of course.

    We're now thinking about having a child of our own before we get too old. :-) We know our kids are on board because they always say they want a little brother or sister. This is definitely something my partner and I want obviously as we make a great team, love kids and want to extend our family.

    I suppose my question is .. Will this cause any turbulence in my situation with the ex? As you probably know, we are 50/50, very civil and D5 is happy and doing very well. Will my ex say that we should halt the 50/50 arrangement as we won't have much time for D5? (which we certainly still will obviously)... Will she (or could she) call this a material change affecting the current arrangement?

    Just curious on people's thoughts.

    Thanks

    LF32
    Last edited by LovingFather32; 05-08-2017, 12:46 PM.

  • #2
    Your ex can say lots of things. But without a court order or an agreement stating otherwise, the original schedule stands.

    People start new families all the time. Your ex would get summarily reamed out by a judge should they try to validate a change based off of you starting a new family.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by HammerDad View Post
      Your ex can say lots of things. But without a court order or an agreement stating otherwise, the original schedule stands.

      People start new families all the time. Your ex would get summarily reamed out by a judge should they try to validate a change based off of you starting a new family.
      Thanks Hammer. That good ol' term "Material Change" is thrown around so much that I just wanted to make sure that this wouldn't constitute one for my ex to ask for a different arrangement.

      A friend of a friend of a cousin of a friend said that they heard her say something along the lines of "If LF32 has a child I'm taking away this 50/50". Who knows what truth there is to that .. just thought I'd pose the question.

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      • #4
        I can't imagine that this could be used against you for a change of custody. If you perhaps wanted to change the 50/50 schedule to a different 50/50 schedule that would better suit your new family life afterwards, your ex could oppose that, but can't see how you could lose current 50/50 over it.

        Having said that, just make sure the two of you are prepared emotionally and financially before choosing to bring a new baby into the mix. A baby is a blessing, but also can be the source of a lot of financial and relationship stress.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
          A friend of a friend of a cousin of a friend said that they heard her say something along the lines of "If LF32 has a child I'm taking away this 50/50". Who knows what truth there is to that .. just thought I'd pose the question.

          Will she try kidnapping again? Because that worked so well before...

          Hopefully she really IS that stupid so that a judge can take away HER 50/50!

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          • #6
            Re-partnering and having a child is not a material change in circumstances. It is actually a rather foreseeable and a normal event.

            The ex would get destroyed if they tried to pull something like that.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by rockscan View Post
              Will she try kidnapping again? Because that worked so well before...

              Hopefully she really IS that stupid so that a judge can take away HER 50/50!
              What a nightmare that was. I can't see her doing that but if she did I'd be devastated. I couldn't imagine starting this whole process again.

              Re-partnering and having a child is not a material change in circumstances. It is actually a rather foreseeable and a normal event.

              The ex would get destroyed if they tried to pull something like that.
              Thanks again Hammer. Just wanted to be sure I wasn't doing anything that would kick me in the ass later. It's sad that I even have to worry about this kind of stuff.

              Comment


              • #8
                It's only Mom's business if it negatively affects the well-being of Kid while in your care. Having another child doesn't mean you can't be a good parent to the one you have already. So it's none of her business and you don't need to worry.

                Comment


                • #9
                  My husband and I are bringing a new child into our family come October. My step kids are absolutely ecstatic... his ex not so much... just be prepared for her to speak negatively to your daughter about the new sibling... my husband received texts from his ex regarding how she wasn't happy and he better not forget his obligations to her kids, which obviously would never happen. Be prepared to talk to your child when she comes to you saying you won't have enough time for her anymore. But to answer the question... your ex cannot use this against you to remove 50-50, besides you have a court order standing behind you.


                  Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                  • #10
                    Awww...congrats Berner and LF32. Babies are cute (they're loud though).

                    I wish you both the best in the new additions!!!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
                      Awww...congrats Berner and LF32. Babies are cute (they're loud though).



                      I wish you both the best in the new additions!!!


                      Thank you [emoji4] Long three years in the making so we are absolutely ready for this! Loud or not haha


                      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
                        Awww...congrats Berner and LF32. Babies are cute (they're loud though).

                        I wish you both the best in the new additions!!!
                        LOL I thought Berner and LF32 were having kids together when I first read this .

                        LF32 Congrats my man. I'm happy for you. The new child is going to bring your own child even closer to you and your new spouse. She may feel left out at first but if you guys don't in differentiate the kids with attention or anything like that they will likely become the best of friends and that could only bring your biological closer to you. You have a family and your child will want to be part of that family. It's always nice to have a sense of a properly formed family.

                        Your ex is likely going to be pissed and act negatively around the kids. Be positive about it as much as possible and if she takes you back to court for this then you simply turn around and say her behavior is damaging the family and ask to limit her access.

                        FORGET YOUR EX, TAKE HER OUT OF YOUR HEAD, AND CONGRATULATIONS.

                        Last edited by trinton; 05-08-2017, 07:27 PM.

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                        • #13
                          LF32 - of course your ex is going to pull a stunt.

                          She will be crafty and simply try to turn your daughter against you by putting huge doubts in her head.

                          Your ex is a lying, manipulative beetch so expect no less.

                          Hey maybe you'll have a set of twins!

                          Your only setback may be finances. Didn't your partner just recently graduate? Hope you're not saddled with student loans... then a baby.... It's no fun to be house poor.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                            Thank you [emoji4] Long three years in the making so we are absolutely ready for this! Loud or not haha


                            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                            I'm glad everybody has finally found out about Berner and I. It was getting tough trying to hide the undying love we have for each other. We were thinking of naming our new addition....Loving Faith. Have a wonderful day hun and I'll see you later. ;-)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Thanks Arabian.

                              I seriously hope she's past all that stuff. She sure seems to be. I really dont have any negative things to say about her behavior. I think her tune changed once she realized that I'm very good for D5. I have her in Sparks, an amazing dance class .. she's excelling like crazy in school, has tons of friends and is one of the smartest children on earth (think every parent says that though. lol)

                              Regarding the money thing, if you recall I am also a part time magician, which interestingly has taken off like crazy lately. I get about 3 gigs/week and have an agent calling my phone. I've went from walk around to stage and parlor magic....which is definitely helping the financial stuff.

                              My new partner and I have decided that if we wait until everything is picture perfect then we may never have a child together...because nothing will ever be perfect. I still want to be that young, cool dad who is the athletic assistant coach for our childs soccer team ... not the old guy in the walker. :-)

                              It's amazing how life changes .. 3 years ago I was here in shock and half paralyzed asking how to get my daughter back from being abducted.

                              You guys have truly been there for me. If I dont say it enough .. thank you to the peeps on these forums for not letting me drown.

                              Comment

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