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Issues with Access - Contempt?

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  • #31
    My mother did this to us. Granted my father was not even remotely interested in being a father. He took off and didnt want anything to do with us until his financial obligations were over. Im not a fan of his but I do have a relationship with him.

    This is to say that there is hope. Don’t give up trying. Continue to reach out and try. There is a really good book I read called “A Familys Heartbreak” by Mike Jeffries. It helped to understand and he seemed like he had a lost cause with his son but now they are close.

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    • #32
      Originally posted by CoolGuy41 View Post
      Perhaps you should ready my above post; it explains why!
      Cool Guy I respectfully disagree. In my own situation I receive $800 a month cs for 2 children, plus the child tax credit, and disability payments for both children. Dad is an EOW parent.

      After I pay all their expenses including clothing, food, activities, therapies, helpers etc. It makes more financial sense (not to mention decrease my stress) for me to split custody and each pay for their expenses during access time and split the government benefits. I do fortunately have a job that I can work extra hours (so does my ex) so I would be far better off financially working extra hours during the 50% time my ex would have them. I also believe it would give me the extra time to advance my career which in turn I would make a better wage.

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      • #33
        I was an EOW dad and had only a word to say in their post secondary education. But this is something you must state very fast as they are adults at that time and they choose what they want to do. All I wanted is to give my advise and support... nothing more. I’ve been fighting for equal time sharing but concurred to EOW to stop the litigation. What my ex is doing is showing that she always wanted to cut me from my children’s life. Last Thursday, in front of an ignorant judge... she finally succeeded.

        I lost my children and they completely lost their father forever. By the words of the justice, I knew that my hopes of only keepings 5% of contact with my children that day were down the drain. I cannot fight any more with my condition and my children will never be aware as they refused to see me. It will be their lost but it is completely out of my control.

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        • #34
          Youre hurt and angry, thats natural. Know though that what has happened with your kids is brainwashing and you cannot stop or change it. What you can do though is continue to be in their life by reaching out and sending them ongoing messages. Continue to tell them you love them. Remember to leave out the “i wish you would” “why dont you” “it hurts me” kind of language. “Hope you had a great day” “thinking of you” “wishing you the best” etc.

          As difficult as it is, they will see that. Take a step back and approach it as a relaxed casual kind of thing. As long as they think you are battling their mother they will see you as the enemy. Ignore the comments about the money or the house. These are all her dirty tactics. When they are older and can see life differently, they will see through it. I promise you they will. I have done so much reading and research on alienation to understand my childhood and my partners relationship. It will take time but in the end you will have them in your life.

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          • #35
            Sorry to hear about your situation.

            Regroup and put "Plan B" into action.

            Try to see your kids, even if just for an hour or so. When you do see them talk about exciting times ahead. If you are looking to move then tell them how much fun it is going to be to find a new place and for them to decorate their new bedrooms... Having said that I have no idea of your personal situation. All I know is that you have to keep trying, albeit in small ways. Be positive when you do see them (even if it is just after having a spat with the ex while picking up).

            I really do feel for you.

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            • #36
              lol you mean regroup and pass to plan « F ». I’ve been playing this for years and after over 3 years of litigation, I finally had a final order just for EOW with my kids. This is what I just lost.

              My ex has been withholding D10 for over 3 months and now I must work on re-establishing my relationship with D10. I had to do this in the past as i’ve been 7 months without seeing my kids. This is the second time. There might be a third and fourth time with my ex behavior. At 12, D10 will decide to stay away from me just like her older siblings.

              I can’t play that game anymore and if the Court is not willing to help...

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              • #37
                You can, if ON law works same as BC, serve her a Notice of Appeal and decide later if you want to pursue the appeal. Other than having to pay the filing fee there, there is no downside of doing that. That is, unless you consider the faint hope of still winning to be a downside - which realistically it could be.

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