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  • #16
    Children's Aid Society

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    • #17
      DUH...should have known that..
      just called my lawyer, all advice from here is greatly appreciated, would just like to hear it directly from the horses mouth.

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      • #18
        I hope your ex will be smart enough not to mess up her relationship with your daughter. Definitely keep encouraging your daughter to communicate with her mom, whatever happens. Take the high road.....

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        • #19
          I have always taken the high road, I never speak poorly about my ex to my daughter while daughter tells me I get put down daily at mothers house. I have moved on, not wasting energy on being bitter, she is the one who had affair and is the bitter one..go figure..
          I'm sure relationships are going to be strained but will eventually work themselves out. I know where I stand with my ex and her new husband, #1 ahole... and I'm good with that.

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          • #20
            I just spoke with my lawyer, he said no problems with her moving in, give it a trial period of a couple months before he goes to court on our behalf. He said our daughter should be the one to tell her mother, if she can't do that, we could have trouble down the road.

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            • #21
              I'm sure it must be very pleasing looking at the possability of your ex paying you child support now. I caught a glimpse of it in one of your posts...

              I would probably be tickled pink myself, and find it very difficult not to 'gloat' or something to the ex.
              I hope you're a better man than I.

              :P

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              • #22
                lol...I have thought about it, wouldn't that be ironic, and if it is deemed she has to pay, then yes I will enjoy the irony. I won't say anything to her, she will be pissed off enough...silence is golden in this case...it will speak volumes on my behalf...

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                • #23
                  Dying to know how this is working out.

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                  • #24
                    **UPDATE** Had long talk with daughter last night, she wants to move badly but when I told her she has to be the one to tell her mother she said she is so afraid of hurting her mother she won't be able to tell her. She wants me to tell her, to which I said your mother will not listen to anything I say, it needs to be you who tells her. She wanted to text her mother to tell her...ummmm...no My daughter is with me this weekend, I'm sure we will talk extensively about it and hopefully by Sunday night she will have found the courage to tell her mother and see what happens from there.

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                    • #25
                      congrats for not letting your daughter take the easy way out by texting her mother. That would have been terrible. If your daughter wants this so badly then she has to be the one to tell her mother.

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                      • #26
                        no way was the text thing ever going to be considered. Yes, if she wants it as bad as she says, she will need to gather up her courage and tell her mother, now I think doing it over the phone may suffic, don't know what mother and her new husband might try to do if it is face to face...

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                        • #27
                          over the phone is bad but not as bad as texting. There really is no easy way to do it.

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                          • #28
                            I tried to out on my own when I was 15 as my mother was quite abusive. I had an MP go with me to get some of my things as I was scared she was going to freak out. She had me arrested a week later at my boyfriends funeral as soon as I walked out of the church for leaving home underage. 3 months later I turned 16 and moved out for good. Maybe your daughter should have someone she trusts (other then you as that would just make the situation soooo much worse) go with her to tell her mom and get some of her things.

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                            • #29
                              There's always the FLIC office that can verify/clarify things for you even though it seems much has been done so, here. A 20 minute meeting with Duty Counsel couldn't hurt... it's the sitting in the hallway waiting your turn that does :S

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by dadof1 View Post
                                no way was the text thing ever going to be considered. Yes, if she wants it as bad as she says, she will need to gather up her courage and tell her mother, now I think doing it over the phone may suffic, don't know what mother and her new husband might try to do if it is face to face...
                                I left my ex when our dd was 1. For the first 10 years, I would relay her concerns to him. For the last 5 years, once she turned 11, I not only encouraged, I emphasized that she needed to address her concerns with her father, without my input, face to face.

                                How can you expect true discussion unless your children have been given the tools in advance to understand and discuss? In your situation, texting or calling is just wrong. Your dd needs to sit down, with her mom, and express her choice.
                                Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

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