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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 11-01-2018, 09:06 PM
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The-Iceberg The-Iceberg is offline
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Default The final phase

Hello every one

I am kinda stuck. My depression is holding me at medium. I have been on disability for a while now. My ex, seemingly healthy is on welfare. The good thing is we haven't fought in a long time.


She uttered fear into the child. Fears her like the devil. He is going to junior high next year. Custody is 50/50.


Minding my own business and seeking best treatments I didn't pay attention when my ex said the child will go to JH in her area. That's some 25 km from where he went to school to grade 6 and where he was born.


Nah, I disagree. The bitch was only playing me by being nice and I know that. I just let it be until...….

Yesterday we had a meeting with the principal. Too many absences. Whose fault? She won't admit. She said she does her best the kid gets to school. The principal asked is the kid going to JH with his friends from KG to grade 6. She said NOOOO he is going in her area with his nephew. I didn't say a word.


But I will soon and all the stones will start rolling again. But I don't know how to tell her. I was quiet for 2 years and now I have to say "No, the child continues in his school zone". But she will say why didn't you say that before why now?

I feel as I need an excuse to break a deal that never happened.

That is where I need help. How do I tell her that I want the kid to go to JH in my area. When I ask the child he says he wants to go where his friends go. They go to school "B" which is even out of my school zone but still he went there for 7 years. If he goes to her school, school "F" he knows nobody but his cousin who is just 1 grade up.

I do not like to break promises but I never said that I agree I just noded once. However I still need to answer "why now, you lied and what not".

Any advice on this one?
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  #2  
Old 11-02-2018, 06:58 AM
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"At the meeting with the principal the other day, you indicated that you thought that we had an agreement that our son would go to JH.

You must have misunderstood. Obviously it would not have made sense to decide where he was going to high school two years ago, there was no way of knowing what our situation would be today.

Given his friendship circles, it seems plain to me that continuing in his current school zone is in his best interests. Unless you have any objections, I intend to register our son in (local school) for next September.

sincerely,

Iceberg-the-needless-drama-king"
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  #3  
Old 11-02-2018, 02:52 PM
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Yeah-right-needless. I raised the child more than she did but most importantly it is in his best interest to continue school here. If I tell her something like you suggested she will say "you never objected it before when I brought it up"

BTW I Guarantee she will take this matter to court.
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Old 11-02-2018, 03:52 PM
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just say you have thought about it and think that it is in the childs best interest to go to the area school for reasons x y and z. is it realistic a judge would say the child has to move to a school 24km away? probably not, or this school in which all the friends are going not close to either you or the other parent, and the child was just going to this particular school to keep them in the same school prior to separation and now you have both moved further away and it doesnt make sense to stay in the school area?
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Old 11-02-2018, 07:24 PM
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Default How this will be decided

Yo Ice!

If this goes to court, the following will be the deciding factors in decreasing order of importance:
1) What does the child say he wants? Your post suggests she has the upper hand here because he "fears her".
2) Who has the better lawyer? Your post suggests you are both weak here.
3) Status quo & best interests of the child, other than what he says. I would say you have the upper hand here, but this factor is subjective.
4) Which one of the parties has the penis and which has the vagina? The pronoun usage in your post suggests she has the upper hand here.

I don't think the verbal exchange at the principal's office would even make the list.

Her plan is the following:
1) Move your son's school.
2) Because he will then hate having to do the daily commute 25 kms from your place to the school (who wouldn't), he will hate spending weekdays with you. It will then be easy for her to convince your son to tell the judge that he wants to live with her.
3) You become a EOW (every other weekend) dad and are ordered to pay her guideline CS ("child" support).

This is a tough one. At the very least have to communicate/negotiate with her. The email suggested by Janus is a reasonable start.
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Old 11-03-2018, 12:57 PM
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Thank you both. Het alienation is not directed at me but indirected. For example she won't say "do not love your daddy" but has said " In her religious book it says mother is 3x more important than father". (It doesn't). She wants to make him a good religious person (abstrain from sins) while she is f***ing like a bitch and doing other crap.


Still the kid says he wants to go to school where his friends go. In Alberta courts a loose long-hanging-stinky-down to her knees vagina won't help her here I promise. The only way she is gonna win is if my depression doesn't reduce. Stress is bad in my life.


She is on welfare because so she can get a legal aid lawyer. I thing I will self rep. if I heal. And unless she finds employment I will have to pay her CS because disability is different than welfare
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Old 11-03-2018, 01:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The-Iceberg View Post
Thank you both. Het alienation is not directed at me but indirected. For example she won't say "do not love your daddy" but has said " In her religious book it says mother is 3x more important than father". (It doesn't). She wants to make him a good religious person (abstrain from sins) while she is f***ing like a bitch and doing other crap.


Still the kid says he wants to go to school where his friends go. In Alberta courts a loose long-hanging-stinky-down to her knees vagina won't help her here I promise. The only way she is gonna win is if my depression doesn't reduce. Stress is bad in my life.


She is on welfare because so she can get a legal aid lawyer. I thing I will self rep. if I heal. And unless she finds employment I will have to pay her CS because disability is different than welfare
stay strong my friend for your child, you need counseling to help you go through your depression, I know it's not easy. Try not to focus on your ex but your child and activities you have with the kid while in your care. Try to lower your expectations "bar", it will help big time in a long run.
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  #8  
Old 11-03-2018, 02:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paco View Post
stay strong my friend for your child, you need counseling to help you go through your depression, I know it's not easy. Try not to focus on your ex but your child and activities you have with the kid while in your care. Try to lower your expectations "bar", it will help big time in a long run.
Thanks Paco. I am very aware that she can even win custody. Everything is possible. The kid has good time when with me and we are 2 pals. He caught her lying multiple times. Yes he loves her of course but he knows who talks BS and who just has fun with him without mentioning his mom. Yet we will see what happens. This is "final phase". Who wins this time there will be no need for further major issues because after JH the kid will be old enough. She lost elementary school, not by court but because she was scared of court. I had the upper hand.
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Old 11-04-2018, 12:49 PM
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This is the never-ending story!

Coolguy41 is absolutly correct:

Quote:
2) Because he will then hate having to do the daily commute 25 kms from your place to the school (who wouldn't), he will hate spending weekdays with you. It will then be easy for her to convince your son to tell the judge that he wants to live with her.
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  #10  
Old 11-05-2018, 10:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
This is the never-ending story!

Coolguy41 is absolutly correct:
He goes the 25 km either way. The difference will be whether I will have to drive to the new school at her place or she will have to continue status quo.

BTW tayker you have a good taste in movies!
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