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  • Child Counselling

    My Ex and I are preparing to begin counseling for our 9 year old daughter-in the fall. Daughter does not show abnormal behavioral patterns in my opinion. But counseling was recommended as part of the final OCL report in the fall of 2016 due to conflict during separation of over 3 years ago. I know EX is pushing for this to see if she can change custody /access arrangement.

    Counseling was ordered via court order after minutes of settlement was reached on all issues at 2nd settlement conference and then turned into a court order . For that I thank this Forum for providing me with valuable information which allowed me to take this on as a self rep who faced off with an experienced lawyer in court.

    We went through I case conference, 2 motions and then 2 settlement conferences . Over the course of 3 years, the OCL, CAS and the Police have been involved because my ex-keeps calling the CAS and they have never found any wrong doing by myself.

    Currently Ex and I have a 50-50 access and custody. Ex is not happy with custody and access arrangement and I suspect mainly for financial reasons as I only pay offset child support (that was ordered in May) and she likes being the gatekeeper and wants to make all decisions regarding our daughter with no input from myself.

    Because some serious false allegations have been made against me over a 3 year period- I only consented to CLOSED counseling for our daughter which has to be done with a mutually agreeable counselor. But in the end it was included on the order that notes/reports could be released only from both parties written consent or via a court order.


    My question: How are child counseling reports and notes treated by the courts? Are they given the same weight like child custody and access assessors reports? I only want to prepared. One never know how biased a counselor could be either way.


    We have not chosen counselor yet, but my ex is someone who just cannot stop making false allegations and I am sure she will try and use this opportunity to see if she can get into counselor head and make further allegations to see if they can be included in a future report/notes by the counselor.


    Because of this I requested that the sessions be between our daughter and counselor only. Judge said I was reasonable but that we should let counselor decide who can attend. Will I be unreasonable to insist that counselor and daughter only should be at the sessions?


    Any inputs will be greatly appreciated.

  • #2
    Originally posted by triplejjulius View Post
    My Ex and I are preparing to begin counseling for our 9 year old daughter-in the fall. Daughter does not show abnormal behavioral patterns in my opinion. But counseling was recommended as part of the final OCL report in the fall of 2016 due to conflict during separation of over 3 years ago. I know EX is pushing for this to see if she can change custody /access arrangement.

    Counseling was ordered via court order after minutes of settlement was reached on all issues at 2nd settlement conference and then turned into a court order . For that I thank this Forum for providing me with valuable information which allowed me to take this on as a self rep who faced off with an experienced lawyer in court.

    We went through I case conference, 2 motions and then 2 settlement conferences . Over the course of 3 years, the OCL, CAS and the Police have been involved because my ex-keeps calling the CAS and they have never found any wrong doing by myself.

    Currently Ex and I have a 50-50 access and custody. Ex is not happy with custody and access arrangement and I suspect mainly for financial reasons as I only pay offset child support (that was ordered in May) and she likes being the gatekeeper and wants to make all decisions regarding our daughter with no input from myself.

    Because some serious false allegations have been made against me over a 3 year period- I only consented to CLOSED counseling for our daughter which has to be done with a mutually agreeable counselor. But in the end it was included on the order that notes/reports could be released only from both parties written consent or via a court order.


    My question: How are child counseling reports and notes treated by the courts? Are they given the same weight like child custody and access assessors reports? I only want to prepared. One never know how biased a counselor could be either way.


    We have not chosen counselor yet, but my ex is someone who just cannot stop making false allegations and I am sure she will try and use this opportunity to see if she can get into counselor head and make further allegations to see if they can be included in a future report/notes by the counselor.


    Because of this I requested that the sessions be between our daughter and counselor only. Judge said I was reasonable but that we should let counselor decide who can attend. Will I be unreasonable to insist that counselor and daughter only should be at the sessions?


    Any inputs will be greatly appreciated.


    I have to say if you chose a good child therapist. They will remain impartial. Even if Mom goes in and tries to say things. They will only go based off of what your child says.

    My 6 yro sees a therapist. And if anything she tries to help my little guy see that dad is a good guy and encourages him to talk to or about dad. And that it’s ok that there are two different ways of doing things. my ex I’m sure thinks I am suggesting things to make the therapist bias. Even though my only intention is to repair child and dads relationship. The therapist is only concerned with what my child reports. Just my opinion.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by triplejjulius View Post
      My Ex and I are preparing to begin counseling for our 9 year old daughter-in the fall. Daughter does not show abnormal behavioral patterns in my opinion. But counseling was recommended as part of the final OCL report in the fall of 2016 due to conflict during separation of over 3 years ago. I know EX is pushing for this to see if she can change custody /access arrangement.

      Counseling was ordered via court order after minutes of settlement was reached on all issues at 2nd settlement conference and then turned into a court order . For that I thank this Forum for providing me with valuable information which allowed me to take this on as a self rep who faced off with an experienced lawyer in court.

      We went through I case conference, 2 motions and then 2 settlement conferences . Over the course of 3 years, the OCL, CAS and the Police have been involved because my ex-keeps calling the CAS and they have never found any wrong doing by myself.

      Currently Ex and I have a 50-50 access and custody. Ex is not happy with custody and access arrangement and I suspect mainly for financial reasons as I only pay offset child support (that was ordered in May) and she likes being the gatekeeper and wants to make all decisions regarding our daughter with no input from myself.

      Because some serious false allegations have been made against me over a 3 year period- I only consented to CLOSED counseling for our daughter which has to be done with a mutually agreeable counselor. But in the end it was included on the order that notes/reports could be released only from both parties written consent or via a court order.


      My question: How are child counseling reports and notes treated by the courts? Are they given the same weight like child custody and access assessors reports? I only want to prepared. One never know how biased a counselor could be either way.


      We have not chosen counselor yet, but my ex is someone who just cannot stop making false allegations and I am sure she will try and use this opportunity to see if she can get into counselor head and make further allegations to see if they can be included in a future report/notes by the counselor.


      Because of this I requested that the sessions be between our daughter and counselor only. Judge said I was reasonable but that we should let counselor decide who can attend. Will I be unreasonable to insist that counselor and daughter only should be at the sessions?


      Any inputs will be greatly appreciated.
      Read this case law and I'm pretty sure it will answer your questions:

      https://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/do...&resultIndex=8

      I suggest that only your daughter and counsellor should attend the session.

      Comment


      • #4
        Can a parent who has shared custody get child counselling because mama is using her influence to fear the child and reading from some holy books how moms are superior and what not? I need a counselor for my kid.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by The-Iceberg View Post
          reading from some holy books how moms are superior

          Wait, there's a religion out there that actually respects women?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Janus View Post
            Wait, there's a religion out there that actually respects women?
            Looks like you have hatred towards a certain religion and even though I said the book I s on mama's side in this matter you repeat the same old about a "certain" religion.

            Comment


            • #7
              What do you mean by fear the child? the mother is fearful of the child? or the mother is making the child fearful of her?

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by The-Iceberg View Post
                Can a parent who has shared custody get child counselling because mama is using her influence to fear the child and reading from some holy books how moms are superior and what not? I need a counselor for my kid.
                My friend, your ex is getting into nasty alienation practices with your child, you need to play cool and try to get her consent for counseling, but not any counseling, the counselor should be expérienced in parental alienation and if he/she is expérienced with courts it's even better.
                You need to document everything your child tells you regarding this stuff.

                Sent from my LGMS631 using Tapatalk

                Comment


                • #9
                  Thank you. Yes it is parental alienation. Our child wanted a kitten so long and after I got one he is avoiding it. Said: My mom gave me birth so why would a cat be important. I am pretty hopeless

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by denbigh View Post
                    What do you mean by fear the child? the mother is fearful of the child? or the mother is making the child fearful of her?
                    I'm pretty sure he was meant to say that the mother is making the child fearful of her, in other words: parental alienation=a child is forced to choose a parent over the other.

                    The alienating parent uses verbal and non-verbal communications that convey to the child that the targeted parent is unloving, unsafe and unavailable, or the 3 "famous" Us. Existing flaws are exaggerated and non-existent flaws are manufactured. Statements are made frequently, intensely, with great sincerity, and unbalanced by anything positive.

                    Make no mistake, the alienating parent violates parenting plan and/or takes advantage of ambiguities in the plan to maximize time with the child. The targeted parent has fewer opportunities to counter the badmouthing message, leading to the attenuation of the parent-child attachment relationship. The child acclimates to spending less and less time with the targeted parent and unfortunately the court might even reward the alienating parent by instituting the new "status quo" as the permanent schedule.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by The-Iceberg View Post
                      Looks like you have hatred towards a certain religion and even though I said the book I s on mama's side in this matter you repeat the same old about a "certain" religion.

                      Wait, what? Which "certain" religion do I hate now?


                      It was a generic comment about religions. I have no idea which particular fairy tale you call your own, but I assure you I have equal levels of disrespect for all religions. My (very tongue in cheek) point was that the vast majority of religions are blatantly misogynistic, which is why I'm surprised that the mom was able to find one that actually claimed that mothers were better...

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Janus View Post
                        Wait, what? Which "certain" religion do I hate now?


                        It was a generic comment about religions. I have no idea which particular fairy tale you call your own, but I assure you I have equal levels of disrespect for all religions. My (very tongue in cheek) point was that the vast majority of religions are blatantly misogynistic, which is why I'm surprised that the mom was able to find one that actually claimed that mothers were better...
                        Of course she found there are 40k religions out there. But being cocky you are, I suggest you keep you tongue in your cheek before it ends somewhere else.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by The-Iceberg View Post
                          Of course she found there are 40k religions out there. But being cocky you are, I suggest you keep you tongue in your cheek before it ends somewhere else.

                          You forgot to answer my question. Which "certain" religion do I hate?


                          Also, threatening random anonymous strangers on the internet is a little silly. Especially when the threat is to "keep my tongue in my cheek". I'm guessing you don't know the meaning of that phrase


                          And where else would my tongue end up? That sounds kinky.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            What difference does it make since you hate them all religions? Calling them fairy tales. I know the meaning of that phase and the threat was not literal just like the phase.


                            Can you guess where your tongue can end up?

                            Comment

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