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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21  
Old 03-14-2014, 06:21 PM
KMF KMF is offline
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No, I don't care if it's her when it's regarding finances because I know she calls the shots in that family. I only get pissed when it affects my son. The letter said, "I am delighted you got accepted into university. I suppose this means you graduated high school". Uh....ya think? And I've never known my ex to use the word "delighted" *snort*
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  #22  
Old 03-14-2014, 06:30 PM
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She probably sends out the condolence cards and your son falls under that category.

Ah well. Just get the money and know it will likely put a screw into her summer vacation spending.
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  #23  
Old 03-15-2014, 02:21 AM
Serene Serene is offline
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I'd spend less time trying to screw the new wife over and just pursue the post secondary contributions. Honestly, if you expend energy where it shouldn't be (towards the new wife) it detracts from other things you will be doing.
Who cares who writes what. As long as they aren't death threats it's just fluff.
We get emails from the ex wife, her husband and now her mother. The delete function works great.
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  #24  
Old 03-15-2014, 08:42 AM
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Where exactly did I say I was trying to screw over the wife?

As for writing letters, emails, texts....new wives/husbands need to butt the fuck out of it. Not their kids, not their past relationship. You know when you marry someone that they have kids and those kids have a mother or father. If you don't like the arrangement, don't marry the person. I've had two relationships that were blended families, and I managed to stay out of that part of the relationship. My job was to establish a good relationship with the kids and that was my only job. Access, support, activities, etc. was up to the parents of the kids and I let THEM handle it.
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  #25  
Old 03-15-2014, 09:36 AM
Serene Serene is offline
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Actually KMF I never said YOU did. In fact I said "I'd spend less time..." so relax.

And fyi, you can turn your latter argument around: we also know our previous spouses will go on to pursue other relationships. Like it or not your children are part of another family.

If you read my post again I actually make an attempt to promote your self interests.
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  #26  
Old 03-15-2014, 09:53 AM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serene View Post
Actually KMF I never said YOU did. In fact I said "I'd spend less time..." so relax.

And fyi, you can turn your latter argument around: we also know our previous spouses will go on to pursue other relationships. Like it or not your children are part of another family.

If you read my post again I actually make an attempt to promote your self interests.
actually serene I took it the same way that KMF did. You were in a way comparing what you would do to what you think she is doing. To say that you would spend less time, you have to have something to judge that by. Less time vs what, The time you think she is using?


I know you probably didn't mean anything bad.
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  #27  
Old 03-15-2014, 11:08 AM
Beachnana Beachnana is offline
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Sometimes i,think we all need advanced grammar classes before posting on this forum. Serene, I read your post and thought the same, you were comparing. But then I read it again, after your explanation and saw how you were more than likely saying something different. Wow I am sure this is a really bad run on sentence or something!
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  #28  
Old 03-15-2014, 02:54 PM
KMF KMF is offline
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Serene, yes, my kids are a part of other people's families. His stepmother should have been there to get to know my son, hang out with him, nurture him, etc., if that's what she wanted. That is where it needed to stop. My ex's financial obligations regarding his son and access schedules are none of her business. That is between the two parents. Her husband is not a child. He is fully capable of writing his own letters and emails. Just because my children are in her life, doesn't give her free reign to interfere in areas that don't involve her. The only reason I can see for a stepparent to communicate with the other parent (other than for cordial reasons), is because he or she is a control freak.

My son's relationship with his father is between the two of them. If I don't get involved with it, his stepmother sure as hell shouldn't. However, that is for my son to tell her now that he's 18. Her interference has done nothing but caused my son to resent her, and he wants nothing more to do with her. She has made the situation much worse than it should have been.
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  #29  
Old 03-15-2014, 08:15 PM
Serene Serene is offline
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I guess the point I was trying to make is we can't control who writes what and who has what kind of relationship with whom in other people's homes... I totally get how frustrating and upsetting things can be - we get emails from the ex wife, her husband and now her mother on most everything that is really none of their business (my wedding, my pregnancy, colour of my new home, my cars, who can do homework with which child, etc.) and yes it is often upsetting. And moreso because the communications are abusive and degrading.

But I can't control it. I can't make it stop. Neither can my husband. So we can continue to worry/have our opinion about it but it is a useless way to try and control a situation.

That is all I meant - your opinion doesn't matter in their world....if they want to be a-holes they will.
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  #30  
Old 03-15-2014, 09:40 PM
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KMF - if the ex's wife gets in the way and you have to send or communicate something important to the father I've done it via double-registered mail. That way you can be assured your ex actually gets the documents/message.

I'd recommend not communicating anything whatsoever through the ex's wife. Shut her down by shutting her out. Drives em crazy.
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