SC's, Motions and Trial's.. Oh My!

[good_mom]

Again send letter about moving forward keep this document handy for court and say nothing that you have it.

Don't start a pissing war....only use this to push back when needed for court.

[Straittohell]

Sigh...of course she will say that. A woman with an agenda, who believes the kid(s) belongs only to her, and that she could have made kids on her own. I am sure her parenting is just out of this world

I had one of these "mom knows best types" say to me the other week....I seem to see you with your child at places doing stuff together, and followed on with "you just don't see this nowadays". To which I responded, what do you mean? She goes you know a father that is involved....you should have seen the look I gave her

When I first got divorced, people would say things like "how much do you get to see your kids?", as if being a divorced dad meant that I was automatically ejected from the nuclear family unit like spent uranium, and that I was now expected to take on a role similar to a visiting uncle.

My response was polite but a bit icy: "I don't get to 'see' my kids, I parent them on a 50-50 schedule with their mother."

The bias and assumptions that relegate fathers to second-class parental underlings is a very real problem.

[dinkyface]

A suggestion for the letter.

When you write it, pretend you never received the letter from LAO. That way you won't be 'responding defensively'. Put it out of your head. Completely ignore the request for details about how it happened.

Instead, write it as if this is a new situation that was a learning experience that illustrated how you feel you should both be communicating in future.

I gather the only possible 'improvement' to what happened would have been for you to inform her when you decided to head to the ER, even though you did not know at that time what was wrong. Personally I don't see that as a big problem ... but I guess it would be better to errr on the side of overcommunication.

[arabian]

I agree with dinkyface to NOT respond to LAO letter. To respond to a bully is exactly what they want. Don't get sucked into that.

So when does a separation agreement get drafted? I don't know how this process works (not having gone through it myself) but I wonder if you should be drafting an INTERIM separation agreement which would outline matters you have experienced over past 12 months and how you agree to address them.

Maybe others with experience in this area would pen their thoughts with consideration to LF32's situation which is really not what I'd consider as "ordinary."

Is drafting a separation agreement at this point merely a tool for lawyers to make more money over and therefore he should wait until after a conference? Is a separation agreement pointless when the two seem to be heading to trial?

[LovingFather32]

Good SA template
http://www.lsuc.on.ca/WorkArea/Downl...?id=2147491029

What just happened to me with D3's injury didn't have to be this way. I have an SA written up. I have a parenting plan. Ex has refused to receive these. Many issues are discussed there. Many "gray areas" are discussed.

You should see how many registered letters, e-mails I've sent regarding the above.

I dont get how ex wont do anything settlement-oriented. Won't narrow any issues. But boy shes quick to fire off these lawyer letters regarding these gray areas.

[Tayken]

Good SA template
http://www.lsuc.on.ca/WorkArea/Downl...?id=2147491029

What just happened to me with D3's injury didn't have to be this way. I have an SA written up. I have a parenting plan. Ex has refused to receive these. Many issues are discussed there. Many "gray areas" are discussed.

You should see how many registered letters, e-mails I've sent regarding the above.

I dont get how ex wont do anything settlement-oriented. Won't narrow any issues. But boy shes quick to fire off these lawyer letters regarding these gray areas.

Get your lawyer to give you the one from O'Briens forms. It is better.

http://www.obriensforms.com/

Any good lawyer should have access to it...

Good Luck!
Tayken

[arabian]

Page 73 of your initial post on this thread - perhaps it's time to start a new thread?


Something Spring/Summer ish?

[LovingFather32]

How do I go about getting a detailed report of everything from ex's Dr pertaining to D3? Is it as easy as a phone call? I know its my right but I dont want to seem high conflict, etc.

Does the Dr. provide a form or is it verbal?

[rockscan]

You can get a copy of her file. If they wont provide it willingly you can do a formal privacy request. I cant recall, do you have an interim order allowing access to info? If not, go with the request under the privacy act. (I just went through this, medical/educational are subject to it, non-profit organizations can tell you to get bent.)

[stripes]

Go to the doctor's office with some ID and Kid's birth certificate, and ask for a copy of the file. (Better to go in person rather than over the phone). This is not an unusual request - people often ask for paper copies of their or their kids' medical records if they're moving or switching doctors. You'll probably have to pay an exorbitant per-page cost for copying, but if you keep the request low-key, you shouldn't encounter pushback from the office.

[LovingFather32]

Perfect. Thanks.

Ex texted today and I offered to lend her my fold up wagon (its very cool) to help transport D3 around while with her. She said she didnt have a wagon and took me up on the offer thanking me profusely. I also told her that I will contact her right away in future medical events (no apology though) and she thanked me and said she would do the same.

I wish this wasn't all a mirage (like a lake in a desert). Instead there are nasty lawyer letters being thrown about and court positioning behind pretentious texts pretending to be fine with everything. What a circus. But it does feel good knowing that I'm putting D3's best interests first and staying conflict-free throughout this.

[Beachnana]

My daughter has often had a friendly co operative email exchange or conversation with her ex. And then! Suddendly it changes. Mostly with her ex its money driven, but who knows maybe there is someone fueling the fires, calling him lut about " his rights". It usually occurs after visit with his family, so maybe his " hard headed" dad is pushing his " manhood" buttons, so he then feels he needs to get agressive and argumentive to prove something. No idea really, just trying to put a label on weird behaviour. Seems easier to deal with then.

So, yeah, today is wagon rolling; tomorrow its " one wheel off and the wagons rolling"!

[serendipitous]

Hmmm...so kind of like you are doing with your daughter then, or are you going to tell us that you don't feed your daughter with ideas which benefit her and just her only and not the ex?

You've just accused his dad as "hard headed" and mentioned manhood in the same sentence. I guess the expectation is for the ex to just bend over and take it...just because.

Great

but who knows maybe there is someone fueling the fires, calling him lut about " his rights". It usually occurs after visit with his family, so maybe his " hard headed" dad is pushing his " manhood" buttons, so he then feels he needs to get agressive and argumentive to prove something.

[LovingFather32]

Mr. T ..... right once again.

We have to book another SC based on fist SC recommendation. No other way around it. Can't even ask for TMC without another SC.

[Beachnana]

Hmmm...so kind of like you are doing with your daughter then, or are you going to tell us that you don't feed your daughter with ideas which benefit her and just her only and not the ex?

You've just accused his dad as "hard headed" and mentioned manhood in the same sentence. I guess the expectation is for the ex to just bend over and take it...just because.

Great

Never said that. get a life buddy!