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“It is for the kids”

Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #11  
Old 10-14-2019, 10:07 PM
Wid Wid is offline
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Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
Our Family Wizard. Everything goes through there.
Haha... I first thought it was a sarcastic joke. I see now that it is a service/app. I am looking into it. Lol
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  #12  
Old 10-14-2019, 11:13 PM
Helpmyspouse Helpmyspouse is offline
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What do you mean by you are living separately but apart?
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  #13  
Old 10-15-2019, 07:54 AM
Wid Wid is offline
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Originally Posted by Helpmyspouse View Post
What do you mean by you are living separately but apart?
“Separate but apart” if you google it there are more
detailed explanations. In my case it is basically because we are still in the same house, yet we don’t sleep together, have intercourse, etc.. basically residing in the same home with no reasonable prospect of reconciliation.
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  #14  
Old 10-15-2019, 09:56 AM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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I have now decided that any issues that are prefaced by “can I talk to you..” or that aren’t concerning basic logistics if necessary I am requesting that it is sent via email. It would likely put an end to it anyway.
Be clear with the ex that, unless it is an emergency, all communication should be via email going forward (if not already). That you will respond to child related concerns as soon as reasonably possible.

If the ex confronts you about something, politely request that she send it by email. This is to allow you time to properly consider the request. The ex will likely balk and continue to confront you on it, and if they do, you listen politely and then say you will send her an email shortly with your decision (unless it is an urgent matter).

When writing emails, park you emotions at the door and write like you are writing to a judge. Polite, civil, business oriented.
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  #15  
Old 10-15-2019, 10:02 AM
Wid Wid is offline
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Thanks for the clear outline.

Since spending some time reading on this site it looks as if this is a pretty common dynamic in higher conflict situations. It really is a shame. I have stopped all communication that is deeper than a hello or a quick comments (aka, I bought some lunch stuff for the kids). It is sad.
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