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Heres a question, My daughter obtained excellent employment out of town working for an Olympic rider (bio dad never paid a dime for lessons, horse, stable management instruction) as he said it was too luxurious. I paid everything. Anyway now that she gets a job working in the field, he wants to say that she did not live with me while working, so i was not entitled to child support. We provided the vehicle necessa. ry for her work as well as insurance, food, clothing. etc It was on her summer holidays from full time school.
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SOunds like "LIttle Red Hen" syndrome to me...remember the story of the little red hen who nobody would help cut the wheat, make the dough,but they were all there for the bread. -
Summer holidays while she is in school full time...yes you are entitled to CS to both support her and to maintain a home at her primary residence.
It's equivalent to saying that he doesn't owe you support because the 12 year old spent a month at summer camp.
If you have an agreement, he's obligated to pay unless he wants to challenge it in court. and he'll most likely lose if he tries. Is he paying anything for her post secondary education currently?
Maybe it's time to address THAT with him
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Not sure how much your ex is paying in cs but for at almost a grand a month not too sure how much money I would have for horses? Lol. Hell I don't know where any money is supposed to come from for education. I guess the idea is to make the payor pay so much they don't have a place for their children to stay, will be reduced soon to a bachelor apt. But I guess that the whole idea put the payor in the poor house make pay pay pay!Originally posted by mummer1962 View Post
You say you pay for everything so I am curious what does cs pay for? At what point does the money train end? Never? Again not too sure what bio dad pays. I just know what I pay.Comment
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From a strictly financial perspective it is CHEAPER to simply pay your support and accept an EOW screwjob than it would be to house, feed and maintain a lifestyle for the children 50% or more of the time.
When you account for food, clothing, housing costs, gas, etc, the costs can EASILY exceed that of the table amounts.
That being said, bio dad should be contributing SOMETHING towards post secondary.
For "finding the money for it" Open an RESP and slap $25 a month into it. That's less than $1 per day. Do a direct debit on payday from your bank account, so you never see it.
Over the course of several years, that can add up to a few thousand dollars. Not a huge sum by any means, but at least you are contributing something, and if your finances are that tight, you should be able to prove that. By having SOMETHING to offer up, you are contributing based on your means, which goes a LONG way with the courts.Comment
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Up until last year bio dad payed 275 a month and NOTHING else on a 72 grand income. His income the last five years with pension is over 100 k. Why do you ask did i not get the order variated till now. Because aft in ter 10 years of not being in her life, i tried to make peace and give him whatever he wanted.....what a sap...looking out for my daughther. He even stayed at my house to visit with a steak dinner provided by my husband and i so he could spend time with his daughter. There are women
in this world who look after the best interests of their child. However, i told him when he decided to come back into her life after 10 years that it is not a revolving door. He came in and wanted out again when his new wife did not like my daughter. Sooo...there it is and yes you are right, it is very expensive for horse riding and training, but i paid it all myself. I love my daughter d now i just want him to contribute to university funds.
Don't paint me with the money grabbing brush. I have provided for my daughter since the days he was born. I am not a money grabbing woman, just looking to have some help with expensive post secondary expenses.Comment
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Oh and by the way, he reads all tlhese posts and is trying to use them against me in court.Comment
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Hindsight being 20-20, you should have varied the order years ago and put forth an application to have him contribute to the extra curricular.
However, you cannot do much about that now, so the best thing you can do for your daughter is to push for him to contribute pro-rata to post secondary.
If he fights you, ask for costs...even if she graduates before it's settled, you can ask him contribute to the repayment of the loans she will most likely have to had taken out. She will have to split it 3 ways, between you, her father and herself, but 33% less of a student loan debt can go a LONG way.
He will HAVE to contribute, no if ands or buts about it..you have a metric shit ton of precedence on your side.
Yes, YOU screwed up by not addressing this sooner, but at least you are taking steps to correct it.Comment
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Well then, let me just say to him if he is reading this...
"Man up and contribute and stop fighting a losing battle. You SHOULD have increased your CS obligation as your income increased voluntarily. You ARE obligated to help with the post secondary education. You knew this day could potentially come, so you should have prepared for it. If you didn't want to deal with it, you should have wrapped it 20 years ago."Comment
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Thank you.Comment
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It's a sore point for me I'm in the same boat, though the genders are reversed. I have joint legal custody, residential care and control and have > 85% physical custody. I receive NO support at present as my ex likes to sit her ass on welfare and do nothing.
It irks me to no end when people try to duck their responsibilities. I've fought tooth and nail for what I have and have become rather well educated in the process on the idiocy that is Canada Family Law.Comment
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I feel your pain, it is just as bad when they make good money and so do i and yet they still feel that they dont have to pay...burns my ass, Especially when he thinks that my husband and i are paying for her so he should be off the hook.Comment
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I am quite aware what it costs to run a household. I certainly knew what it costs to run before the break up. I have my children one overnight through the week every second weekend from Fri to Monday morning march break half the time over Christmas and half the summer. So yes I know it costs you can not prove to me for one minute that moms costs are worth full table amounts, which is pure bs for the little extra time she has the children over me! I still provide a roof, food, clothes but no money for horse or not.much anything else. Not the same.cor my ex. I can tell you while I drive my beater she just bought a new 50k 4x4. New hardwood floors trips to Cuba and the list does on. Whose paying for that? i am sure its none.of the 12k a year she gets tax free noooo. Its a good racket to be in. Ahhhh maybe my case is just an isolated one eh... My children are in hand me down clothes the holes in their jeans and socks are not fashion, mom is just frugal Im guessing. I just don't buy into that programming. I know its what i am stuck with but that dollar a day that you talk about is a half a tank of gas to get back and forth to work. And as for the easy peasy lets go back to court and the judge will just.change things well I'll just leave at my chances of winnng the lottery might be better lol.Originally posted by NBDad View Post
I just get a kick out of some people that complain that dad not paying for the horse and the"I" pay everything and he pays nothing. Like I said not sure what bio dad is paying but id love someone to pay me a grand a month. Hell I'd settle for half that. But why settle for half when you can have it all lol. But then again I don't ha e to buy it, just pay. Sorry for my rant, just tired.Comment
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Read the post concering what bio dad paid before you juidge. Horseback riding is a rich mans sport. ...but my dauther has disyplayed talent that has resulted in emlployment. ..much like every hockey mom's wish is that they make the NHL, well she has...read before you post. I did not get a grand a month although i was entitled to it. I make a good living and so does he ...chaulk and cheese.Comment
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and i still shop at second hand stores for my own clothing. ...thrifty and wise..not rich and stupid.Comment
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