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Is there a legal Cut Off Age for Child Care Expenses?

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  • #16
    rockscan, how do you figure out what the taxable benefit split is?

    from ex's previous income taxes that she had to submit during court process, her babysitting fees were deducted dollar for dollar off her yearly income.

    we've been through court process, and this was ONE of the subjects. I was also asking for additional time with our children. I spent THOUSANDS to get to Settlement Conference. Ex would not agree, kept fighting. It was going to cost me $20,000 to go to Trial.....I didn't have anymore money to keep going.....I had already spent over $10,000 to get to Settlement Conference. (In the meantime also paying $1,000 range a month to ex in CS and S7)

    It got settled between our lawyers that I pay a set percentage of her babysitting fees.....the percentage was lowered a little for me due to ex not following the "net" rule, and ex does not have to disclose her future income taxes to me anymore because of this.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Laughingstock View Post
      rockscan, how do you figure out what the taxable benefit split is?

      from ex's previous income taxes that she had to submit during court process, her babysitting fees were deducted dollar for dollar off her yearly income.

      we've been through court process, and this was ONE of the subjects. I was also asking for additional time with our children. I spent THOUSANDS to get to Settlement Conference. Ex would not agree, kept fighting. It was going to cost me $20,000 to go to Trial.....I didn't have anymore money to keep going.....I had already spent over $10,000 to get to Settlement Conference. (In the meantime also paying $1,000 range a month to ex in CS and S7)

      It got settled between our lawyers that I pay a set percentage of her babysitting fees.....the percentage was lowered a little for me due to ex not following the "net" rule, and ex does not have to disclose her future income taxes to me anymore because of this.

      I've never heard of this before. I thought financial disclosure (annually) was a normal condition of child support. Can someone else chime in here please.

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      • #18
        I have absolutely no problem paying legitimate CS and reasonable S7 expenses.

        I think it's awful when a father is available and wanting to spend a lot more time with his children (which would cut out babysitting), but the mother won't legally agree to it because she wants to collect MAXIMUM MONEY from him........and the father can't afford the $20,000 or handle the stress of the lengthy court process to see if a judge would change the situation.

        In my case, it just is easier to keep paying her........just sucks that it could end up being until the kids are 15.......because it truly is unnecessary in our situation, as our children are not disabled or have any special needs.

        My son tells me he's asked his Mom why he can't live with me during the Summer, and she started bawling her eyes out, giving him a good guilt trip....puts them in babysitting/racking up unnecessary fees........because my wife and I are available/ no babysitting needed.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by arabian View Post
          I've never heard of this before. I thought financial disclosure (annually) was a normal condition of child support. Can someone else chime in here please.

          I have to disclose my income taxes to her every year for CS purposes.

          But the lawyers set the S7 expenses at a percentage a little below what I would have owed the year we settled, stating that took in to consideration the "net"..............so there is no reason for ex to disclose her income anymore.

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          • #20
            I would never cede on your ex having to disclose income. For any reason. One never knows what the future holds. You are entitled to this information.

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            • #21
              Isnt there a clause that you have to update annually? Or that you can request once a year? If so you should be updating for s7 cases.

              To determine taxable benefit you can do a mock return on those online tax sites. One with daycare and one without.

              More than likely your kid will kick up a fuss next year. I cant see a 15 year old doing that.

              Please tell me she provides you with the receipt and doesnt just demand the money.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                Isnt there a clause that you have to update annually? Or that you can request once a year? If so you should be updating for s7 cases.

                To determine taxable benefit you can do a mock return on those online tax sites. One with daycare and one without.

                More than likely your kid will kick up a fuss next year. I cant see a 15 year old doing that.

                Please tell me she provides you with the receipt and doesnt just demand the money.

                In the past she was NOT providing any child care receipts. She gave me a piece of lined paper that she wrote weeks and $ amounts for at one point after me requesting/refusing to pay without receipt.

                When we were in court process negotiating with lawyers, at the 6 month mark she provided a receipt from the sitter (Just a lady who was doing it from her home)............why it was such a hassle and took so long to produce......we can all speculate!

                New agreement was made and she was to provide receipts from than on. Matter settled.
                She still didn't provide receipts. She sent e-mails of weeks $ amounts typed. I told my lawyer the conflict.....lawyer advised me to pay, stating she would have a "yearly" receipt like she ended up submitting to court.

                She and her lawyer also refused me requesting to pay the babysitter directly in all this.

                Her babysitting amounts were anywhere from $500-$900 a month....yet she worked a set Monday-Friday schedule.

                At the end of the year, there was no receipts again.....went through court again....same thing happened again....at 6 month mark, she miraculously produced a receipt from the sitter.

                Due to all that (Me not trusting the receipts obviously) She now has to pay her sitters with cheque and provide me with proof of cashed cheque.

                Coincidentally the babysitting amounts have gone from $500-$900 a month to a consistent $600 a month.

                And of course she claims the FULL amount on her taxes (what I pay towards it) and gets higher benefits due to it right? (Why they refused to let me pay the babysitter directly)

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                • #23
                  What time does she actually leave for work? Does your school not have a before And after school program he can attend.

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                  • #24
                    There is a clause that says as long as CS is to be paid both parties are to disclose income annually IF APPLICABLE.............because the lawyers set our S7 at a percentage for me, her lawyer had wrote my lawyer a letter upon writing the agreement/settling stating that it is understood that the percentage does not change, it doesn't matter what her income is, I am not to request that information.

                    And as I said they did lock the percentage in lower for me than I should be paying.....due to the problems getting her net amount in the past.

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                    • #25
                      Sounds like her lawyer spent considerable time covering up her income/non-income. Being a suspicious and cautious sort of individual I would never agree to this.

                      You and your lawyer must be comfortable with the clause so I guess that's that. Perhaps you believe your ex will never earn an income and/or you are a very high income individual.

                      Each to their own I guess.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Beachnana View Post
                        What time does she actually leave for work? Does your school not have a before And after school program he can attend.
                        There is no before and after school program at current school.

                        She has to be at work for 6:30am. And Currently kid is 11....so I completely understand/agree with babysitting at the moment. (I don't like that she drags kids out of bed in pajammas at 6am when she could find a sitter to go to her house and let kids sleep longer)---But nothing I can do about it!

                        Kid in question will be 12, going in to grade 7 next year......there is no before or after school program at that level.....because again most 12 year olds are NOT babysat.....they are the babysitters!!!

                        But ex is giving the impression that she is expecting to continue dragging him out of bed at 6am to sitters next year...........when kid has expressed to her he does NOT like it and does not want to continue doing it when he's 12.

                        He is not disabled/ no special needs. He currently walks him and his sibling home from school alone now. He currently babysits sibling or is home alone when Mom wants go go out on her own shopping, etc.

                        It's always whatever is to her convenience/benefit......He's allowed to stay home alone/babysit in the afternoons/evenings for her to go out on her own.

                        But he will not be allowed to have the luxury of sleeping longer at home/getting up and going to school on his own when he is 12......because than she won't be able to get those EXTRA expenses from me......(even though it is costing her a bit of money too).....she doesn't care....

                        I know it sounds ridiculous....I wouldn't know/believe anyone like this existed if it wasn't for the fact that it is my own situation with someone like her, sadly!

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by arabian View Post
                          Sounds like her lawyer spent considerable time covering up her income/non-income. Being a suspicious and cautious sort of individual I would never agree to this.

                          You and your lawyer must be comfortable with the clause so I guess that's that. Perhaps you believe your ex will never earn an income and/or you are a very high income individual.

                          Each to their own I guess.
                          Ex was earning more than me for first few years after separation.
                          From previous income taxes of hers that were disclosed from 2007-2013 we are now fairly close, both earning Average Income. $50,000-$60,000

                          Although due to ex claiming the babysitting/it getting deducted dollar for dollar.....her income gets lowered between $39,000-$43,000 from past disclosure that I've seen.

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                          • #28
                            Try to separate the financial aspect from the issue of whether a babysitter is needed or not.

                            Next year at 12 would child also have to get a younger sibling up and ready for school?

                            For me, that might be a bit too much responsibility at 12 depending on maturity of both 12 yr old and the sibling. Still a judgement call.

                            If child only responsible for him or herself, still a judgement call. Maybe a babysitting or home alone course over the summer along with some opportunities to prove maturity level would delp decide.

                            Still think a couple of hours after school or in the evening is not quite the same as having to wake up on time, get ready, make breakfast and get to school on time.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by PeacefulMoments View Post
                              Try to separate the financial aspect from the issue of whether a babysitter is needed or not.

                              Next year at 12 would child also have to get a younger sibling up and ready for school?

                              For me, that might be a bit too much responsibility at 12 depending on maturity of both 12 yr old and the sibling. Still a judgement call.

                              If child only responsible for him or herself, still a judgement call. Maybe a babysitting or home alone course over the summer along with some opportunities to prove maturity level would delp decide.

                              Still think a couple of hours after school or in the evening is not quite the same as having to wake up on time, get ready, make breakfast and get to school on time.
                              I have to agree with peacefulmoments... even if the 12 year old is capable of spending time home alone, getting up and to school is a different ball game, with or without younger siblings (because younger siblings could still go to the sitter)

                              My youngest brother is 13. .. if my parents go away during the week my husband and I go and stay with my brother... even though he can make himself a 4 course meal and is fully capable of getting up and getting to the bus, having us there just helps him get moving, at 13 he us still young and may require assistance from time to time

                              Sent from my SM-T560NU using Tapatalk

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by PeacefulMoments View Post
                                Try to separate the financial aspect from the issue of whether a babysitter is needed or not.

                                Next year at 12 would child also have to get a younger sibling up and ready for school?

                                For me, that might be a bit too much responsibility at 12 depending on maturity of both 12 yr old and the sibling. Still a judgement call.

                                If child only responsible for him or herself, still a judgement call. Maybe a babysitting or home alone course over the summer along with some opportunities to prove maturity level would delp decide.

                                Still think a couple of hours after school or in the evening is not quite the same as having to wake up on time, get ready, make breakfast and get to school on time.

                                Sibling would still go to babysitter. That would NOT be put on 12 year old.
                                kid wants to stop getting dragged out of bed at 6am by Mom.

                                Regarding the Financial aspect, my issue isn't so much on the age 12.

                                My issue is that it can legally continue on to age 15, which I think is absurd.....why I questioned it all in the first place.....and got my answer...that YES, She will be able to get away with doing that to the kids if she wishes.

                                Something like that is NOT worth fighting against her in court. It's easier to just keep paying until she legally cannot claim it anymore/than she won't be able to give me the expenses as S7.

                                Comment

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