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Travelled cross country and meeting with father of adult son....

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  • #46
    Time goes on and we adjust to what life throws at us. Hard to believe that 4 years ago I was having to sell semi tractor-trailers at an auction to pay CRA. I was also forced to literally have someone hide a truck (big one) so ex wouldn't steal it.

    I survived and I will carry on. Just had hoped my son and his father could have salvaged some sort of a relationship. My son doesn't want to have anything to do with his father as long as he is taking me to court. I thought I could maybe talk some sense into the old fart but I was wrong. Lesson learned I guess.

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    • #47
      Originally posted by arabian View Post
      Time goes on and we adjust to what life throws at us. Hard to believe that 4 years ago I was having to sell semi tractor-trailers at an auction to pay CRA. I was also forced to literally have someone hide a truck (big one) so ex wouldn't steal it.

      I survived and I will carry on. Just had hoped my son and his father could have salvaged some sort of a relationship. My son doesn't want to have anything to do with his father as long as he is taking me to court. I thought I could maybe talk some sense into the old fart but I was wrong. Lesson learned I guess.
      Some people 'mellow out' with age - others become old farts, set in their ways with bitterness cursing through their veins. Your Ex seems to enjoy going to court just for the 'hell of it. Nothing much you can do about it though I would hope that some judge would eventually put an end to the calamity. As Links mentioned earlier (vexatious litigant).

      Personally I know that my Ex won't let up until the money runs out - to the benefit of whatever lawyer is willing to put up with his nonsense. I'm extremely grateful to live in Quebec where costs is not a big issue. Still hate to waste my time in court .... que sera sera non?
      Last edited by Janibel; 08-30-2014, 12:14 AM.

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      • #48
        Originally posted by Janibel View Post
        Personally I know that my Ex won't let up until the money runs out - to the benefit of whatever lawyer is willing to put up with his nonsense. )
        My ex made that pretty clear to me today as well. My ex has a genuine "ambulance chaser" representing him now. Decent ones won't touch him.
        Ah well I guess it's off to court we go. I'm sure I'll be getting notification of something in the weeks to come. Same old thing.

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        • #49
          I'm not sure if I agree but my lawyer has this 'theory' that until my Ex finds himself a new woman to make miserable, he will continue his asinine behavior.

          He told me that he has seen many Ex's who can't seem to give up trying to control their spouses in any way possible (endless court appearances). It's like a last ditch effort to keep the co-dependency going for as long as possible before cutting the umbilical cord once and for all ...?

          I hope he's wrong.

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          • #50
            You are probably correct about control being a motivator. I think in my situation my ex and his g/f use the court as entertainment. It seems they have nothing else in their lives to occupy themselves with. They live and breathe this stuff. Ex's g/f comes to court (like it was her own court case no less) and brings along her girlfriends. Sick eh?

            Your ex could get a g/f and the whole matter either goes away or else it gets worse. These sorts of guys like to show off. Be the big man in court for a day. Pathetic.

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            • #51
              I think having your ex meet someone new is a game changer. My husband's ex was impossible for 2 years until she met a guy. Then suddenly we had the kids every weekend and almost every day after school. That faded off when they broke up 2 years later, but Mom had forgotten about harassing us at that point.

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              • #52
                Originally posted by paris View Post
                I think having your ex meet someone new is a game changer
                Actually that quote would make an interesting thread in itself! I'm too lazy to start one lol. But yes, I believe my Ex enjoys the drama of going to court. He is retired, has no hobbies that I know of (aside from getting drunk in bars) and probably imagines he will get everything he wants by sheer persistence.

                So far he's wasted time and money on motions that amount to a pile of beans. Hopefully with time he'll figure things out and get on with his life. I'm fairly certain that once he gets serious with a new spouse - the harassment will stop.

                He understands little of family law. It's actually comical to see him give his over-rehearsed speeches in front of the judge - when the judge interrupts him to ask a question, the EX gets all confused and has to start his 'schpeel' all over again lol! The Ex has trouble keeping track of his own lies to the point where his own attorney has to politely make him shut up ....
                Makes my lawyer's job that much easier.

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                • #53
                  Originally posted by arabian View Post
                  Not his company - OUR company became MY company, stripped of most assets and riddled with debt. Yeah he really left me a pile LOL.

                  Money went into his g/f's bank account. Other assets were dispersed and hidden by family. This all happened within a very short period of time. If there is a "family court" matter corporate takes a back seat. Very complicated but trust me, I did everything within my power/ability to recoup my losses. Thus the reason for substantial SS.
                  Is this why you still appear to be angry and bitter? Do you Have some unresolved feelings?

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                  • #54
                    I don't think she appears angry and bitter..I think she let those emotions go long ago.

                    Maybe the question should be why do you feel the need to try and get a reaction from your posts? It seems you think all women are upset etc because they are divorced. Maybe you have unresolved issues with your divorce? Maybe your ex is happy to be away from you and you cannot accept that?

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                    • #55
                      Originally posted by arabian View Post
                      You are probably correct about control being a motivator. I think in my situation my ex and his g/f use the court as entertainment. It seems they have nothing else in their lives to occupy themselves with. They live and breathe this stuff. Ex's g/f comes to court (like it was her own court case no less) and brings along her girlfriends. Sick eh?

                      Your ex could get a g/f and the whole matter either goes away or else it gets worse. These sorts of guys like to show off. Be the big man in court for a day. Pathetic.
                      Does it bother you that your ex's g/f was there along with her g/f's?

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                      • #56
                        Originally posted by OntarioDaddyMan View Post
                        Does it bother you that your ex's g/f was there along with her g/f's?
                        its a courtroom. The gf I can maybe understand but why her friends?? That seems a bit bizarre to me. Watching someone elses court process?? Its not like its meeting up for dinner etc. Nothing better to do with their time?

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                        • #57
                          Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
                          I don't think she appears angry and bitter..I think she let those emotions go long ago.

                          Maybe the question should be why do you feel the need to try and get a reaction from your posts? It seems you think all women are upset etc because they are divorced. Maybe you have unresolved issues with your divorce? Maybe your ex is happy to be away from you and you cannot accept that?
                          I thought we all agreed I was a trol? Perhaps you missed that thread?

                          All kidding aside in MY opinion Arabian seems biter at second partners and has consistently demonstrated this over the years.

                          She also seems to take enjoyment in reliving her court victories while bemoaning her ex.

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                          • #58
                            Originally posted by Once.is.enough View Post
                            I thought we all agreed I was a trol? Perhaps you missed that thread?

                            All kidding aside in MY opinion Arabian seems biter at second partners and has consistently demonstrated this over the years.

                            She also seems to take enjoyment in reliving her court victories while bemoaning her ex.
                            I can understand her views on new partners not being involved in the court case. Its between the two people who were/are married.

                            As to enjoying her "victories" I cannot see that. He keeps taking it back to court and that costs her money. If he would actually have a case do you not think that after so many times in court to get things changed that he would have had some success? If you had someone taking you to court every year, costing you money, wouldn't you be glad when they lost? Hoping that finally that may be the end?

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                            • #59
                              Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
                              its a courtroom. The gf I can maybe understand but why her friends?? That seems a bit bizarre to me. Watching someone elses court process?? Its not like its meeting up for dinner etc. Nothing better to do with their time?
                              Why does it matter why they are there. Its a court room and it is open to the public. Arabian could have asked the judge for closed sessions and asked them to leave.

                              If it distracted Arabian then they probably succeeded.

                              Besides, while in court your facing the judge. Who cares who is behind you. My ex has brought her family throughout the proceedings. Even at a Case Conference that we adjourned. lol More for me to entertain with the ex's false accusations and bs.

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                              • #60
                                Why does it matter why they are there. Its a court room and it is open to the public. Arabian could have asked the judge for closed sessions and asked them to leave.

                                If it distracted Arabian then they probably succeeded.

                                Besides, while in court your facing the judge. Who cares who is behind you. My ex has brought her family throughout the proceedings. Even at a Case Conference that we adjourned. lol More for me to entertain with the ex's false accusations and bs.
                                OntarioDaddyMan has a good point - It is an open court room. And those that try to restrict other partners (i.e. the public) from the court room are really exercising control over their former spouses in my opinion.

                                I do have a question though: If Arabian's former spouse is taking her back to court and is being vexatious in his litigation - Why hasn't a judge imposed any restrictions on when he can return to court? I've seen this many times in the past that a matter cannot be brought back to court for XX amount of time...

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