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  • Summer vacation foiled again.....

    Howdy folks,
    This will not be a vent or rant, I just wanted to get your take and advice how to handle this gem. We had to submit our requested summer vacation dates, in relation to our child, to the CP by February 1. We received confirmation that these dates were fine. Almost three months later we received an email stating that right smack dab in the middle of our two week vacation we had to drop off the child on a Friday afternoon so the child could write an exam on the Saturday and that we could pick up the child on Sunday morning. When asked where this exam was, time of exam and duration, we received a terse reply that since we did not pay for the lessons we did not need to know any more of the details other than what was provided in the email.
    A little investigation on our part revealed that the cutoff time to register the child for this exam was February 2, that another date could have been be scheduled a few months later and that the duration of the exam was- wait for it - one hour. So essentially we lose two days in the middle of our vacation for a one hour exam. It also happens to be the child's birthday weekend - no doubt the reason for the two day over run for a one hour exam.
    To be fair, I give the CP the benefit of doubt that they did not intentionally book the exam after seeing our requested dates but do think they intentionally did not inform us until a much later date to maximize the grief it would cause.
    Our plans were ruined.
    This is now the second year in a row that our summer vacations have been interrupted by the CP.
    Question is: Should not the CP have informed us immediately of the conflicting scheduling dates and at least given us the opportunity to shift our dates?
    What are our options?
    BTW, option of dropping off and picking up child for exam has not been made open to us.

  • #2
    So you basically followed your court order (I assume you have something) and submitted dates which were confirmed.

    You'll have the child in your possession, AND the CP had the ability to reschedule?

    You already know what to do here. If you are going to be out of town, simply inform the CP that due to having made plans that they confirmed on Feb 1 as being acceptable, you already have plans, and that you are unable to change them at this time.

    If you are able to drop the child off at the exam and arrange pickup, and are willing to do so,then by all means. If your plans would prevent you from doing so,simply inform the CP that you are unable to accomodate the request and simply stick to the schedule as agreed.

    Also,what are these lessons for and is there a reason you are not paying a proportional share? (Ie. you believe it to be covered by CS, you weren't informed,etc.)

    Comment


    • #3
      ^^^ Agreed.

      Although, if you are willing to bring the child to the exam, why not physically bring them there yourself, or sit out in a waiting area or local Tim Horton's until they are done and pick them up once complete and back to your vacation.

      Otherwise, you followed your court order. It is your time. Depending on the nature of the exam I would ensure the was there. But I would be damn sure not to lose 2 days over it, and would simply tell the ex that you are willing to ensure the child attends the exam, but that time is yours in accordance with the agreement and that you will arrange for the child to be there and pick them up immediately after to continue your vacation time.

      Comment


      • #4
        I completely agree with the other posters.

        Your time is exactly that... yours. It was unnecessary for the CP to allow the exam to be scheduled during your vacation, and wholly unnecessary for her to demand additional time surrouding said exam.

        One hour is one hour. If you are capable of providing the transportation (and you and your child agree that the exam is important to him/her), then by all means, do so. As the OP mentioned, you can go grab yourself a coffee and wait for the child, and after the exam is over, continue with your vacation plans.

        As far as the Friday afternoon drop-off and Sunday pick-up, the CP is clearly violating your agreement, and it is easy to see that she is doing so due to the childs upcoming birthday. It is a ridiculous demand on her part and you are not required to comply.

        She should have had the forethought to contact you and inform you of the exam schedule and allow you to adjust your vacation access dates or re-schedule the exam.

        You know your situation best, and if this has ruined your vacation plans, then stand up for yourself and put a stop to it. If she did something last year to interrupt your vacation, then you can be sure she will do it again, unless you stop her!

        This is unfair to you and your family. Stand your ground! Good luck!

        Comment


        • #5
          Is this an exam relating to regular schooling e.g. making up for failed class last year, or adding a credit in order to qualify for graduation or a special program? If yes, then I'd think you need to accommodate the exam somehow. Tell her your position, then it becomes her choice to disclose the details of the exam (no tell means no exam).

          I'd think that your child might need some time in the days leading up to the exam to prepare, which would mean that you would need to be given their books/notes at vacation start. Hopefully they would not need your ex's assistance to prepare. So just tell your ex that YOU are willing to give this support and refuse the 2-day disruption to your time (then it becomes your ex's decision on whether or not to hand over the course materials).

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by sidelineref View Post
            Howdy folks,
            This will not be a vent or rant, I just wanted to get your take and advice how to handle this gem. We had to submit our requested summer vacation dates, in relation to our child, to the CP by February 1. We received confirmation that these dates were fine. Almost three months later we received an email stating that right smack dab in the middle of our two week vacation we had to drop off the child on a Friday afternoon so the child could write an exam on the Saturday and that we could pick up the child on Sunday morning. When asked where this exam was, time of exam and duration, we received a terse reply that since we did not pay for the lessons we did not need to know any more of the details other than what was provided in the email.
            A little investigation on our part revealed that the cutoff time to register the child for this exam was February 2, that another date could have been be scheduled a few months later and that the duration of the exam was- wait for it - one hour. So essentially we lose two days in the middle of our vacation for a one hour exam. It also happens to be the child's birthday weekend - no doubt the reason for the two day over run for a one hour exam.
            To be fair, I give the CP the benefit of doubt that they did not intentionally book the exam after seeing our requested dates but do think they intentionally did not inform us until a much later date to maximize the grief it would cause.
            Our plans were ruined.
            This is now the second year in a row that our summer vacations have been interrupted by the CP.
            Question is: Should not the CP have informed us immediately of the conflicting scheduling dates and at least given us the opportunity to shift our dates?
            What are our options?
            BTW, option of dropping off and picking up child for exam has not been made open to us.
            Like the others said, your time is your time, she did not inform or consult, If the CP knew of your vacation time then was obligated to schedule around it if possible. If you're out of town, then I would just go, and tell the CP to reschedule the exam when it's more appropriate. A Saturday exam tells me it isn't related to school, maybe something like music or sports activities.

            If you're following your order or agreement, then it is her burden to have. It's just too bad for the child that this kind of behavior has to exist.

            I mean if you're on vacation and you can't or wont bring the child, then what really can she do about it? I would think nothing, and if she did pursue the matter, I would think the CP would look very silly.

            Comment


            • #7
              Yup, agreed with everyone else. Either find out the arrangements for the exam and take the kid yourself or just say....no. Another option would be to contact the powers that be and explain the situation and ask for another date. Nothing is ever set in stone.

              Comment


              • #8
                Agreed with everyone else, it is your confirmed and accepted (by cp) time, if you are feeling generous you could offer to bring the child to the exam or tell the cp sorry not happening, seriously what can she do about it!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  your time, you drop the child off, wait until the exam is over and take them home with you

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Seriously make the offer to bring the child if declined so be it let the cp reschedule, this would likely solve any future issue of this sort, otherwise you will likely face similar issues again and again and yes, again....

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      How old is the child? Old enough to give you the details so you could arrange to take him?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Well, sent the CP a letter that outlined my thoughts on the matter. mentioned were the facts that the exam was scheduled during an agreed vacation schedule, CP did not consult prior to booking, and know how important this exam is for the child. Also added that since this was the case, CP could pick up child with time to spare to study BUT that child must be returned immediately after exam. Also asked for time and location of exam to arrange P/U and drop off near to where vacation would be spent plus the offer to meet half way.

                        Answer in a nut shell -NO. Am now being accused of using child to hurt CP, CP insists that exam was not scheduled purposely to mess vacation, just so happened to fall on that day - though CP did not even bother to ask before scheduling... - Cp still has not provided time and location of exam and thinks it "amusing" that this is just now being a problem. Here is the clincher - child called late that night to inform that she would not be coming down for the summer at all. Obvious that CP informed child of the letter knowing that any plans CP had arranged would be ruined (B-day party). CP manipulates child and has the temerity to flip the accusation? Can't even get CP to explain why child needed to be dropped off for 41 hours for a 1 or 2 hour exam. CP does not see this as valid query. Issue is not importance of exam - issue was the scheduling without consultation but it has now become a twisted game of deceit and manipulation.

                        Devastated - where did it go wrong? What now?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          How old is the child? If she is < 12, she gets NO say. If she's older than 12, her wishes carry weight, but the CP must take you back to court to enforce.

                          Bottom line...your time per the court order. Child goes. Stop arguing about it. The CP can reschedule the exam OR you can make arrangements to take her if you want to.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Child is 13, turning 14 during vacation. What do you mean CP must take me to court to enforce? As mentioned, the exam was not the issue,the issue was booking the exam without consultation AND the fact that no offer was made to allow NCP to drop off and pick up child but rather CP scheduled a 41 hour interruption for a 1 or 2 hour exam without an explanation why.
                            Afraid that if offer of NCP to drop off child is made now, the response will be "too late, damage done, child still does not want to come down." Am trying to get CP to give reasons for 41 hr delay and refusal of NCP drop off - it will look good on paper.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I'm saying it makes no difference now. The child must attend the scheduled vacation if it's under court order. If the mother wishes to vary that order, she has to take you to court.

                              If it goes that far, the child's wishes will weigh heavily on the decision. The mother CANNOT refuse you access.

                              At this junction I'd say screw the exam. Send her an email that you will be arriving to pick the child up per the court order for your scheduled vacation time and that you expect the child to be ready. Indicate you already have plans for vacation and are unable to alter them to accommodate the exam.

                              From what you describe, the dates do not match up, it looks like she went ahead and scheduled the exam on your dates, despite knowing the child would be with you.

                              Comment

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