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Visitation Being Denied for past 3 YEARS!!

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  • Visitation Being Denied for past 3 YEARS!!

    My husband and I have been fighting with the courts for the past 3 years to have adequate visitation with his children. They are now 5.

    He was allowed in the first order supervised access, where she (his ex) only dropped the kids half the time and used excuses (deaths in the family, multiple deaths) for a reason why she could not bring them. He went to the visits religiously for a period of one year and the access center wrote reports on the visits she actually attended.

    After a year of supervised access he requested visitation with the children directly, drop off and pick up at the access center. She refused stating that she still felt that he may flee the country with them. He offered up his passport for reassurance. At the end of all this the court ordered that visitation be at her discretion, since her being in the medical field could not predict a set schedule.

    She will not answer phone calls, threatens to call the police and he has only been able to arrange one visit in the past two years at a local restaurant where she and her family attended the visit. We are both emotionally exhausted. He just doesn't know what to do now?

    We don't care what we have to do, we just need to be pointed in the right direction, please if you have any advice in which step to take next, i would greatly appreciate it. It is painful to see him in pain, he just wants to see his children. She even laughs and says every once in a while that she is done playing games, but begins all over again.

  • #2
    I'm not sure but maybe you can file an emergency access motion and try for custody. talk to a lawyer even the one at the family courts law centre

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    • #3
      We have filed an emergency access motion in which she was granted full discretion as to the frequency place and time of the visits, we also ended up paying her costs since we brought forward the motion. Can we file another emergency motion? We do have a lawyer and he is trying to no avail to communicate with her, she simply does not respond. The courts in Durham are very different then the ones here in Toronto and i would even go as far to say they are discriminate. She simply cancels most arrangements she makes and the only one she has kept to is the one in a restaurant late last year, prior to that he had last seen his children 1 1/2 before that in supervised access. I am surprised they even know who he is and that is sad.

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      • #4
        You can now show that she is CLEARLY abusing the discretion awarded by the court (when was that - 2 years ago?). Hopefully you have records of ALL of your attempts at arranging access, and can summarise them to make your point.

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        • #5
          No the emergency motion was filed in June last year we had a court date in September and she was given discretion, our lawyer has sent a letter to hers (No response yet) and I requested that our lawyer contact her directly. Got notice today from our Lawyer that she complained to her lawyer that our lawyer called her directly. Ridiculous, we are making a new motion to return to court, the letter has been sent, just waiting on a response, i am guessing it will have to go back to court again. And yes we have all the communication about cancelled visits and excuses in email, we don't trust a thing she says.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by NotSoNiceEx View Post
            No the emergency motion was filed in June last year we had a court date in September and she was given discretion, our lawyer has sent a letter to hers (No response yet) and I requested that our lawyer contact her directly. Got notice today from our Lawyer that she complained to her lawyer that our lawyer called her directly. Ridiculous, we are making a new motion to return to court, the letter has been sent, just waiting on a response, i am guessing it will have to go back to court again. And yes we have all the communication about cancelled visits and excuses in email, we don't trust a thing she says.
            To summarize - How many occasions of the children's access occurred since the making of the September 2009 interim order? Young children require frequent interaction with their parents to foster an ongoing relationship.

            It appears your about 6 months into the order - Hows it working to the benefit of the children?

            A parent centered on the children would ensure that they are in compliance of the spirit of the orders.

            I would think if very little access has occurred with respect to her discretion - then perhaps grounds to vary existing order further.

            Supervised access is not meant to be a final solution but rather interim.

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            • #7
              Have you ever considered going public with your situation? I mean contacting the media? This is a ridiculous case of severe biased decision from a judge to give her the discretion for access. The courts are so one sided and from time to time you read about cases like yours in the papers, and usually they follow up on them. Perhaps you should consider this avenue as well.
              Unfortunately I don't have any advice about what to do legally... sorry!

              Good luck!

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              • #8
                The last time the children had a visit with their dad was December.

                The new provisions of the order are not working for the children or their Dad only for her as she has control.

                The only spirit she wants to operate in is self centered not in the best interests of the children.

                We are in the process to vary the order at this time.

                She requested supervised access saying that he would take the children to another country, he surrendered his passport to show he would not flee and she is just paranoid. More than 80% of those visits were cancelled last minute due to multiple deaths in her family (not), illness of the children, her, car broke down etc. Now that we are married it has only gotten worse, she wants nothing but child support. Her father even said that he would put him where he belongs and threatened him when he called to say Merry Christmas to the kids. Unfortunately we are not dealing with someone who has the best interest of anybody but herself and the only way to deal with her is through the court.

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                • #9
                  I sincerely hope you can find a solution for the children. How sad that they can't even see their own father. I can't imagine how they must feel, not knowing their dad the way they should. For all they know, they could think he's choosing not to see them.

                  I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy - to be denied your own children.

                  Take it public if you can. Make as big of a stink as possible. I always dream that we win the lottery and hire a super-lawyer to fix all our problems. Sometimes it feels like that is the only option.

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                  • #10
                    Thank you all for your replies,

                    We are trying to get this resolved and the kids know he loves them, when we visited them in December he made sure to tell them how much he missed and loved them. God sees all and one day she will have to answer to someone much bigger than us or the courts who seem to favour her anyway. He is trying to hang in for the sake of the kids otherwise he would of quit trying along time ago, we have had to pay costs, go through an uphill battle all while trying to carry on with life of our own.
                    We have two children together and I think she is just bitter because what she considered garbage and threw out was someone else's treasure and now she wants what she can't have.
                    Every waking night, endless headache is worth every tear, one day we will get proper visitation and those children will know their dad, she and no one else can stop it for long! I have spent endless nights praying, researching, even moving to afford the legal bills, children are worth every heartache and we will not rest. As for the lottery, i will hire the best lawyer when we do win, but for now we have the highest power and his name is God! God bless you all and thank you.

                    Comment

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