Hi I'm new here.
This is my situation in a nutshell:
1. Was happily married to husband (who I knew since kindergarten) x 16 years until he suffered irreversable brain damage in a motorcycle accident.
(He was in a coma for a month).
2. Motorcycle accident resulted in extreme personality change, violence towards myself and our three children. Medication helps slighlty but he does not think he needs it and will not take it. Has started drinking heavily and does not seem to be able to control it.
3. Since the accident has been charged with assault x 4, DUI x 2, uttering death threats to myself and all three children, assault with a weapon, break and enter, and mischief. Yes some of the charges were against the children. CAS is involved.
4. I left him when he assaulted our children. He has no memory of doing so. He is no longer the man I married and fell in love with. He can not help himself but he also refuses any and all help offered to him. He s a danger to himself and others.
4. He has strictly supervised access at the CAS access centre and refuses to go. Has hired a lawyer to fight for unsuipervised access and full custody.
5. He has severe memory problems and impaired judgement. Can not remember one day to the other. His actions have become more and more bizarre. The children are terrified of him and having nightmares.
6. He has drained our bank accounts. Is no longer able to work as a teacher and is embrioled in a personal injury lawsuit. He lives with his father who is financing his lawyer for him.
7. He has recently broken into our house and breached his bail conditions.
8. I am off work on stress leave and have spent my life savings on a lawyer. I have no more money so I will now have to represent myself.
9. My ex is on his 5th lawyer.
10. There are medical reports galore from multiple health care professionals documenting his medical and cognitive problems. It is obscene, given the evidence I have that this even has to go to court and keep going to court!
Despite all of this evidence the family court system is allowing him to run unchecked with no controls. He dragged me to court in excess of 16 times last year alone. He does not know what he is doing and his lawyer is taking advantage of him (which I am powerless to help him with ).
When I did have a lawyer she would just shrug and tell me it would all get sorted out in my settlement. She however was not willing to defer getting paid until this magical "settlement" occured.
All I want is for this to end and for the children and I to come through this with our lives. Yes with our lives!
(Access is a mute point if he carries through on his threats). The judges need to get it through their heads that safety comes BEFORE access. It is in the best interests of the children to be alive versus dead. Yes they should see their father if at all possible but only if their safety can be the number one priority. I want us to live through this ugly process. Anything else is gravey.
If the judges would only put a stop to this behaviour then even without child support, spousal support or a penny from any mystical "settlement" I would be able to support the kids and myself on my own.
I do not believe it is the courts manadate to destroy families or further traumatize children. That being said, the court system is however very much responsible for the aforememtioned. They have unintenionally but nonetheless turned a tragic situation into a travesty of justice to each and every member of my family; including my ex, myself and most especially my children.
Shame on the family court system!
This is my situation in a nutshell:
1. Was happily married to husband (who I knew since kindergarten) x 16 years until he suffered irreversable brain damage in a motorcycle accident.
(He was in a coma for a month).
2. Motorcycle accident resulted in extreme personality change, violence towards myself and our three children. Medication helps slighlty but he does not think he needs it and will not take it. Has started drinking heavily and does not seem to be able to control it.
3. Since the accident has been charged with assault x 4, DUI x 2, uttering death threats to myself and all three children, assault with a weapon, break and enter, and mischief. Yes some of the charges were against the children. CAS is involved.
4. I left him when he assaulted our children. He has no memory of doing so. He is no longer the man I married and fell in love with. He can not help himself but he also refuses any and all help offered to him. He s a danger to himself and others.
4. He has strictly supervised access at the CAS access centre and refuses to go. Has hired a lawyer to fight for unsuipervised access and full custody.
5. He has severe memory problems and impaired judgement. Can not remember one day to the other. His actions have become more and more bizarre. The children are terrified of him and having nightmares.
6. He has drained our bank accounts. Is no longer able to work as a teacher and is embrioled in a personal injury lawsuit. He lives with his father who is financing his lawyer for him.
7. He has recently broken into our house and breached his bail conditions.
8. I am off work on stress leave and have spent my life savings on a lawyer. I have no more money so I will now have to represent myself.
9. My ex is on his 5th lawyer.
10. There are medical reports galore from multiple health care professionals documenting his medical and cognitive problems. It is obscene, given the evidence I have that this even has to go to court and keep going to court!
Despite all of this evidence the family court system is allowing him to run unchecked with no controls. He dragged me to court in excess of 16 times last year alone. He does not know what he is doing and his lawyer is taking advantage of him (which I am powerless to help him with ).
When I did have a lawyer she would just shrug and tell me it would all get sorted out in my settlement. She however was not willing to defer getting paid until this magical "settlement" occured.
All I want is for this to end and for the children and I to come through this with our lives. Yes with our lives!
(Access is a mute point if he carries through on his threats). The judges need to get it through their heads that safety comes BEFORE access. It is in the best interests of the children to be alive versus dead. Yes they should see their father if at all possible but only if their safety can be the number one priority. I want us to live through this ugly process. Anything else is gravey.
If the judges would only put a stop to this behaviour then even without child support, spousal support or a penny from any mystical "settlement" I would be able to support the kids and myself on my own.
I do not believe it is the courts manadate to destroy families or further traumatize children. That being said, the court system is however very much responsible for the aforememtioned. They have unintenionally but nonetheless turned a tragic situation into a travesty of justice to each and every member of my family; including my ex, myself and most especially my children.
Shame on the family court system!
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