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  • Mediation update

    So it's been over 30 days since the mediator advised other side to prepare a proposal. I was not exaggerating when I said the other side has zero motivation to close this file. Zero. He is getting paid by equity on my home. It makes no difference to him if we go to trial. Whatever will net him more money. The sick part is that HE is the one I'm negotiating with. Not even my exspouse since he has been deemed special party. He has no voice in the proceedings. It's like I'm divorcing the effen lawyer. He is calling the shots. At least if I was negotiating directly with my ex spouse like other cases, I would have some chance that he would want to mediate as it is cheaper for him. And that he would want what's best for our kids. I am at a complete disadvantage. I'm negotiating with a stranger who is spending someone else's money and who doesn't give a shit about my kids. This realization drives me nuts. Nobody can relate to me. Other people divorcing can't relate. My situation is not common. So looks like I just burned money on mediation. Looks like the asshole lawyer pretended to consider mediation because I have yet to see a proposal. Just burning more through my money My question is what recourse do I have to make this asshole accountable for his behaviour????? He seems to be untouchable and successful at dragging my case since he got involved. My ex can't even fire him! He has no voice!

  • #2
    Anytime there is equity in a home lawyers will drag it out... billable hours.

    Your situation is common. The minute you complete financial information in your respective lawyers' offices they know how much is "in the file" for them. They keep the dispute going until they estimate they have come close to their maximum allowable takes.

    You have no recourse. Best to try to settle. I notice that in Ontario the lawyers steer potential suckers (clients) clear of binding arbitration. Pity.

    Sorry you are going through this.

    In the end, however, the lawyer ultimately can duck accountability as they "take instruction from their clients."

    PS If you spend time on this forum searching you will come to the conclusion that most people who have gone through mediation say it is a total waste of time... both parties have to be willing to "negotiate."

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    • #3
      When I say my situation is not common I am referring to the fact that I'm actually negotiating my life with ex's lawyer not with my ex. A stranger who has zero connection to my children and a stranger who has a blank cheque to my spouses equity. At least if I was negotiating with my spouse he would have interest in not burning money on legal fees. Mediation could have happened long time ago. Instead the lawyer is calling the shots, not my ex. Almost like a conflict of interest but the system is broken and this is allowed. I have not seen another situation like mine in the regard.

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      • #4
        Also this lawyer does not take instruction from his client. This is the problem. My spouse is deemed special party. The lawyer is his own client. Just thinking about this again triggers me. It is so effen wrong.

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        • #5
          Ah... that's like me saying my ex's g/f is the reason we are divorced. Ultimately your ex and my ex are responsible for the action/non-action of their side.

          Nobody forced your ex or my ex to sign the affidavits... nobody forced them to continue funding legal retainers.

          Your ex could be on an island off of Africa with general instructions to his lawyer... doesn't matter. Lawyer is controlled by your ex. Get used to it.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Helpmyspouse View Post
            Also this lawyer does not take instruction from his client. This is the problem. My spouse is deemed special party. The lawyer is his own client. Just thinking about this again triggers me. It is so effen wrong.
            Then the public guardian is ultimately responsible.

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            • #7
              I totally understand why people are upset about paying support in your situation.

              As a taxpayer I am encouraged by the fact that the government is going after spouses/parents of dependents. This is their job to mitigate public purse. On the other hand, I get how unfair outcome might be.

              Your biggest cost would be legal representation. For most it is not feasible. I'd then recommend on presenting your side in a simple, concise manner. Courts are supposed to be set up to assist those who cannot afford lawyers. Don't make the mistake of heaping additional financial burden upon yourself.

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              • #8
                The pgt is even worse than the lawyer. The mediator noticed right away that the pgt is completely unmotivated to close this file. He has shown since he came on the scene that he has no motivation to move things along. He was appointed 5 years ago!!. He is in cahoots with the lawyer to just stall and kill time. They use each other as scapegoats. For example my lawyer sends the other lawyer an email. Other lawyer will respond after a week saying I only just forwarded to pgt for direction. Pgt will take another week or so to respond. Between the two of them they play all kinds of stallling games. They pick and choose and alternate between who is waiting on whom. I have no idea who decides what. Lawyer will say waiting on pgt. Pgt says waiting on lawyer. For example during mediation, pgt left early during discussions Really??? A keyplayer with decision making authority and he had other plans that day? The mediation was booked months in advance. Apparently he had to go back to the office. Mediator tells him to make written proposal based on what was discussed as a start. More than a month later and nothing delivered. Lawyer says the pgt is supposed to do this. Pgt says lawyer should. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. How do you hold these crooks accountable? Neither motivated to end this. Two strangers deciding my children's fate who have no connection to my family. My ex spouse has zero control over his lawyer or pgt. Broken system but I'm getting it worse than others who at least are negotiating with ex spouse.

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                • #9
                  Thank you Arabian for your great advice. I agree the legal fees are my greatest burden. I'm afraid to self represent. The only consolation I have is that they are bleeding by ex as well so money in the pot to fight me will be finished. It's effen sad that equity we worked so hard to build is gone to lawyers. That part I know is common.

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                  • #10
                    Could you contact the ombudsman? Or your mpp? These people are paid by govt right?

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                      Could you contact the ombudsman? Or your mpp? These people are paid by govt right?
                      this. as cynical as everyone tends to be on this site...your situation is truly horrifying. I'm so sorry.

                      Comment

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