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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 11-29-2006, 03:17 PM
serrona serrona is offline
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Default Ex won't cash CS Cheques!

Well, I am floored! I have found out that ex refuses to cash my child support cheques for the last two months! Prior to writing cheques I gave her money orders but decided I'd rather write a cheque just in case I lost the money order receipt ( which I did one month) so as to cover my behind if she ever said I didnt give her the money.

Turns out, she will not cash the cheques because my girlfriend's name is on it as well! We have a joint chequeing account.

So, my thoughts are: If she won't take the cheque because gf's name is on them, then wouldn't that be a very good clue as to why she is preventing me from seeing my son as well! She doesn't want our son to be in gf's company! In my eyes, it's obvious and I hope it proves to be just as obvious to the court as well.

serrona
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Old 11-29-2006, 04:07 PM
seekinganswers seekinganswers is offline
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seems a little insane, doesn't it?

aren't you an adult, with a right to move on with your life?

and um, by not cashing the cheques, who exactly is she punishing??
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Old 11-29-2006, 04:10 PM
serrona serrona is offline
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my thoughts exactly! clearly this woman is not doing what is in the best interest of our son. i just wish someone would stand up and pay attention to what is happening. seems as though she just does whatever she pleases. then again, the system is letting her, so of course she's going to continue. it's so sick.
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Old 11-29-2006, 05:17 PM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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serrona,

Is there a court order delegating the child support or is it paid voluntarily?

If it is paid voluntarily, continue doing so and send the cheques by registered mail. If the individual fails to cash the cheques the problem is with them. You will have evidence that you sent the cheques. You may also want to follow up by formal letter to their attorney that you have given the cheques but client x has yet to cash same.

This conduct of paying child support voluntary without an order makes you shine bright and demonstrates that you are a child centered individual. It is also evidence that perhaps a joint custody regime may be appropriate.

Something to keep in mind is the courts cannot order child support unless they have ordered custody to either one of the parties or both.

lv
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Old 11-29-2006, 05:29 PM
serrona serrona is offline
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I am currently paying voluntarily. I pay as per the guidelines and I have also sent her cheques for his swimmming lessons. This was also voluntary.

I'll continue to do that. Thanks for the tips!
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Old 11-29-2006, 05:47 PM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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serrona,

I'll go out on a limb and guess you are asking for a joint Custody regime of your child whereas the other party is claiming a sole custody regime citing perhaps no historical cooperation or communication.

If this is the case, it could be perhaps their strategy to make you look bad to the Judge. IE: they will allege that you are late with the volunteer support or in arrears etc.

However, a parent that pays child support voluntarily indicates that they are child centered; Continue doing so but have proof you paid the support or sent the cheques, formal letter with post dated cheques sent by registered mail to her lawyer and or to her.

Another thing you may want to try is to take parenting educational courses voluntarily. Most communities in Ontario offer same and are free for the taking!

lv
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Old 12-01-2006, 12:54 PM
serrona serrona is offline
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Hi Lv

Well, I am asking for joint custody and yes, she is saying that it can't possibly happen because there is no communication. Even though it is her who won't communicate. I have tons of evidence to show this including taped phone calls and registered letters that went unanswered and ignored.

My father handed her the cheques so he is a witness to my paying her the support.

Also, I have voluntarily taken a parenting course and it was quite good. Problem is, many of the strategies I learned are useless in a high conflict situation...which I believe mine to be.

I have another case conference next week. I pray to god that there will be some resolution this time. Each day that goes by is another that I don't get to see my son. With christmas coming...it's very difficult to imagine not spending some time with him.
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Old 12-02-2006, 12:04 AM
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serrona,

as you mentioned,

Well, I am asking for joint custody and yes, she is saying that it can't possibly happen because there is no communication.



Quote:
Well, I am asking for joint custody and yes, she is saying that it can't possibly happen because there is no communication.
A typical strategy to squash your claim for joint custody.

Quote:
Even though it is her who won't communicate. I have tons of evidence to show this including taped phone calls and registered letters that went unanswered and ignored.
It may not matter who is at fault. The point is historical communication and cooperation is important in a joint custodial regime.

However, In parallel parenting regime; a form of joint custody, each parent makes decisions for the child when the child is in their respective care.

A case that I like to refer to for Parallel Parenting is found in this thread

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/s...ghlight=jewson

Kaemmle v. Jewson, 1993, 50 R.F.L. (3d) 70

see the full case in the pdf attachment

Quote:
My father handed her the cheques so he is a witness to my paying her the support.
Your father has no legal obligation to support your children and as such the cheques would be seen as a gift.

Quote:
Also, I have voluntarily taken a parenting course and it was quite good. Problem is, many of the strategies I learned are useless in a high conflict situation...which I believe mine to be.
There are many parenting courses available and the reason for taking them is that knowledge is wealth, you can never learn enough, and your commitment to your child.

Quote:
I have another case conference next week. I pray to god that there will be some resolution this time. Each day that goes by is another that I don't get to see my son. With christmas coming...it's very difficult to imagine not spending some time with him.
No significant orders dealing with the child's access or custody will be made at this case conference. Reason being, is no sworn evidence is filed or served, just briefs. The Judge may give a recomendation or may remain silent. The Judge may recomend the case moves ahead by way of motion or further settlement conference or both. However this is your opportunity to get the court's view on having office of the children's lawyer involved.

lv
Attached Files
File Type: pdf Kaemmle v Jewson.pdf (33.8 KB, 1 views)
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