I’ve been divorced with joint custody on a 2-2-3 schedule for four years. They go to a before and after school program in my school district, ex lives 15 minutes away. Ex wants to switch to 2-2-5-5 to allow him to get a nanny on his days. My work schedule is such that I barely need daycare with 2-2-3, but I’ll need my own nanny for 2-2-5-5.
Recently, our oldest (7) was diagnosed with ADHD and a learning disability. The psychiatrist and her family doctor recommended medication. The psychiatrist has also recommended tutoring and occupational therapy to catch her up.
My ex has veto’d medication until he gets 2-2-5-5. He says he can’t afford tutoring, and he doesn’t have time to take her to tutoring/occupational therapy etc without the nanny.
We can’t afford a nanny (or two). He wants to work long hours and basically come home to tuck them into bed. Historically, we’ve never afforded a nanny, and putting 25-30% of my (or his) take home pay is unaffordable for either of us. He’s not great with money, and doesn’t realize he’s going to bankrupt himself.
I’ve offered to take the kids more often, to facilitate tutoring and occupational therapy, even declining child support for the extra time (which would probably break the 60/40 barrier), but he insists on keeping the 50/50.
He claims him seeing the kids 50% of the nights trumps everything. The kid getting medication, tutoring, occupational therapy.
I say if he can’t meet her needs, that her needs trump seeing him 50% of the time. That with liberal visits and every other weekend he can have a great relationship with our kids.
Who’s right? Am I wrong that 50/50 is great if you can manage it, but isn’t a do or die thing?
Help please.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Recently, our oldest (7) was diagnosed with ADHD and a learning disability. The psychiatrist and her family doctor recommended medication. The psychiatrist has also recommended tutoring and occupational therapy to catch her up.
My ex has veto’d medication until he gets 2-2-5-5. He says he can’t afford tutoring, and he doesn’t have time to take her to tutoring/occupational therapy etc without the nanny.
We can’t afford a nanny (or two). He wants to work long hours and basically come home to tuck them into bed. Historically, we’ve never afforded a nanny, and putting 25-30% of my (or his) take home pay is unaffordable for either of us. He’s not great with money, and doesn’t realize he’s going to bankrupt himself.
I’ve offered to take the kids more often, to facilitate tutoring and occupational therapy, even declining child support for the extra time (which would probably break the 60/40 barrier), but he insists on keeping the 50/50.
He claims him seeing the kids 50% of the nights trumps everything. The kid getting medication, tutoring, occupational therapy.
I say if he can’t meet her needs, that her needs trump seeing him 50% of the time. That with liberal visits and every other weekend he can have a great relationship with our kids.
Who’s right? Am I wrong that 50/50 is great if you can manage it, but isn’t a do or die thing?
Help please.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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