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General Chat This forum is for discussing anything that doesn't fit into another forum, or for discussing things that are off topic, or just for general venting.

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Old 08-18-2011, 09:05 AM
Mouhajir Mouhajir is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 6
Mouhajir is on a distinguished road
Default Now I know what to do next!

I did finally found enough courage to go see a lawyer, I hesitated for some time, I was afraid of starting a motion that I could not control, but I am reassured now.
(please see my previous post to form an idea on my story).

The councilor I saw on Monday, repeated word for word what people in this forum told me already: separate financing, gather information, and copy documents...etc. She also asked me to draft a history of our marriage with as much detail as I can remember, basically from day I met my wife, and to highlight what I think were the miles stones.

She told me the following: I can get CS for my 2 kids 440.00 a month starting point and possibly a SS of 500.00 a month.

Equalization payment and division of assets will be by the books.

She also told me, this separation/divorce could turn out very ugly very quickly, knowing my wife’s lawyer personality, past behavior in cases she handled and had to face D.
In short, I should prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
I should also budget for 2,000 to 5,000 if we are all angels and there no storms in the forecast, otherwise I am looking at 15 to 20k before this is over (if lucky).

At the end she gave me a free advice; after handing me a bill for 550.00 plus PST.
The advice was : Not to pull the plug, as ultimatly the looser in this will be my kids, and to try to find ways for this marriage to workout. Either we should go see a marriage counsellor or find new arrangement, something, anything for the sake of the children.
And if i decide to pull the plug, 5k retainer up front, her clerk will be billing 190.00/hours, when she touch the file her fee 275.00/hours.
I thought of the following the entire night, with the help of a nice bottle of french pinot noir (even if it is ramadan).
I am willing to give it a go, but here it the catch, I will be asking my spouse to participate more financially, by investing money in the house/kids and/or me. I will be asking for 1000.00 month to be put toward the mortgage of the house/ or 1000.00 in a spousal RRSP/Investment vehicule. With the intention that if she pull the plug, I get some compensation.
Recap :
2 kids, 17 and 12. She makes 112k. I make 73k- for now : we pay 50/50 for mortgage/kids expensesand RESP). She pays for her car and insurance. I pay for mine. Married 23 years (this past june).
Any thought comments from this community.
Which by the way I am grateful for it existance.
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