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  • #31
    No idea if they have applied for OSAP. They might have but they do not reveal unless they need help of signature if finance from my husband.

    Their RESP is on both parents’ names for 2 kids. This eldest son is supposed to use up to half the amount. He is going to Ivy on athletic merits(rowing). He is quite a bright student, did well in schools but not excellent enough for a scholarship.

    We are hoping not to go to mediator nor court as it’s taking too much money, time and stress. But the other party could claim from taxation over legal fees this proceeded with requesting for mediation with the notion that it can’t agree on the proposal and has a deadlock of way at the moment. ( meaning that they cannot accept a ‘no’... as they have always been.

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    • #32
      He doesn’t have to go to mediation and if either party refuses to move then its a waste of time. He should simply say that he has not wavered from his position that kid can attend an equivalent school in Canada and therefore he does not feel mediation would work.

      He can also simply state his offer of 1/3 the eligible school costs (make sure he says eligible) for a Canadian university stands and if they insist on this program of study they will need a judges order for more.

      Truly, Ontario has three excellent business schools and considering the workload kid will have they won’t have time for rowing. That whole sport aspect is ridiculous. If they aren’t offering a scholarship (NOT financial aid) then that element has no bearing on the decision.

      Your husband can shut it down. He has made an offer, if they don’t like it they can try court and it won’t get very far.

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      • #33
        It’s partly true that mediation will go no where too unless my husband happens to agree that he will pay the equivalent share and his proportion of a Canadian schools without incremental costs in the 3 years to come, and it’s up to them, if they still insist on ivy, means they will have to come up with the money.

        They might pull through the first year in ivy vis RESP, Some savings, money from the Father and relatives or who knows, a loan, and the tiny financial aid... but it’s impossibke for them to get the full amount of fund ready for this USD$500,000 tuition only cost without calculating the living expenses, books, and others!!!

        That’s why the Trumps family could afford to get into this ridiculously expensive school.

        The reasons why proceed with mediation is also because it’s cheaper than going to court, and if the both parties could agree on something over mediation (which means that the other party will have to agree with my husband’s proposal or they might push a little higher as expected, and they gather the rest of money for the 4 years), then hopefully no need to go to court. But on the other hand, it’s actually quite making the sense that if they go to court, highly that the Judge will shut down their silly idea of acting like a millionaire, and will probably ask them to look for a Canadian school.

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        • #34
          In my experience mediation is more expensive than court. You have to pay for the mediator as well as the lawyers whereas with court the judge is free. Mediation without arbitration is not logical if neither party will move off their respective positions. Arbitration is also more expensive than court as you have to pay for the arbitrator in addition to your lawyers.

          At this particular time, during the pandemic your chances of being able to get a court date and resolve your matter in time to allow the child to attend school in September are basically zero. The courts aren’t even open yet ( not until July). Plus once they open there will be a tremendous backlog which further decreases the chances of your issue being heard in a timely manner.
          Hence, if you don’t agree to mediation they won’t be able to resolve this issue in time for the new school year and would have to wait until next year for the child to attend post-secondary education.

          The other option is med/arb ( mediation alone is throwing your money away).
          This is supposed to be a much quicker solution than court although it will cost more due to having to pay for the mediator/arbitrator. My lawyer had told me med/arb should be able to resolve most conflicts within 3 months. There are several variables you’ll need to keep in mind.

          1) can you both decide on a mutual mediator and if so, how long until they are available during this pandemic? It’s possible they are extremely busy as people seek alternatives to court
          2)if you can’t come to a resolution during mediation, how long until you can get an arbitration date? You may be pushing it to the three month mark or longer which again means you won’t be able to resolve this issue in a timely manner to allow the child to attend school in the fall of this year

          As an aside, med/arb is supposed to be quicker than court. That is not my experience as we have been involved in that process for 31/2 years now and still haven’t gotten to arbitration! I truely regret having followed my lawyers advice and opting for med/arb in order to try to move our matter along.

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          • #35
            As was pointed out by my husband’s lawyer—mediation only works if both parties are willing to budge and work towards a solution. In his case his ex refused to waiver from her original position after almost three years of litigation which is why mediation would not work. The judge also pointed out that mediation would not work because it involved calculations requiring a judge (i.e. how much is the child’s reasonable contribution).

            Is your husband willing to throw additional money for this education? Is he willing to contribute significantly more than what he would if kid was at home? Are they willing to consider a school in Canada? I believe the answers to these questions are no. As such, mediation will be a giant waste of money. You are looking at $5000 to start not including all your lawyers fees to attend and prepare. Your husband could go himself, sit down and if she refuses to budge you say no and walk out. Then you can say to a judge you did attempt mediation but the ex refused to waiver from her original position.

            Has the ex put forward any additional contribution from kid? For instance kid will pay 50% of the total costs or kid will take on 60% of the cost. If kid is going to take on more of the cost perhaps you can reach a deal but based on what you have been saying it does not sound like they will consider anything but the US school in which case you need a judge to decide.

            When this case is heard is irrelevant at this point. They have obviously made up their minds and are digging in.

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            • #36
              Thanks all for the sharing, thoughts and group support here. You are right. The mediation went off with a great start with the mediator thinks that going to a US Ivy school at this cost us ridiculous. With the other party insisting to proceed with this school, the mediator pushed the amount even lower for my husband to pay and stayed with the Canadian equivalent school (although it’s above the average business undergraduate in Canada as they are comparing Ivey, Western & Queens). Overall, they are getting much worse deal than their proposal and worse than our original counter proposal! How silly can they be!

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              • #37
                Now is when you make the original offer of above what the mediator says. If they take it to court and push it, costs will be in play!

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                • #38
                  Hi Rockscan,
                  The agreement had been drafted and signed by both parties already right after the mediation.
                  Their first proposal was to have my husband pay $45,000 per year. My husband countered with $25,000 as per average Canadian business undergraduate per year. Right before mediation, they reproposed $50,000.

                  The mediator immediately pushed their stupid proposal away and stayed on Canadian education cost, then deducting their RESP in an annually used basis so d the number went down to $11,000. But we wanted a condition, which is to stop paying after the undergraduate and no more paying for further studies like Master, or another degree. With that they asked for more. So ended up $15,000 annually for my husband with a written agreement that he stops paying after 4 years.

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                  • #39
                    Thats a good deal.

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                    • #40
                      I have followed the thread and believe you guys reached a good deal.

                      I don't mean to scare you but I once came across a case law where the father kept paying child support until the kid was 29 or something because he kept switching his programs.

                      The judge kept siding with mom and kid because it was in the best interests of the kid to re-try and establish himself.

                      Although no two cases are entirely the same and you guys have agreed that father will not pay after 4 years, I hope it is air tight and the other party doesn't use some legal/technical loop hole and say child's best interest is paramount so father should contribute more.

                      Sent from my ONEPLUS A5010 using Tapatalk

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