Originally posted by seeker101
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daycare withholding child info citing restraining order
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You are correct. This is Canada. You are innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.
The daycare provider is being unreasonable. She is withholding information regarding your daughter when there is a court order entitling you to that information.
You need to first right a letter authorizing her to release the information to you, and send it to mom to sign. Then send it to daycare in an email:
"Further to our discussions, please find enclosed copy of court order of Justice Dated. Per clause 4 of this order, I am requesting enclosure regarding my child. The consent, signed by the mother, is also attached.
You may send it back to me by email, regular mail, fax, or I could pickup in person.
Thank you for your review of the email and I look forward to hearing from you soon."
If she ignored, follow up, and if doesn't give to you, reach out to their manager and file a complaint. Also bring it up with the judge at your next court date.
You should persure joint custody so you don't have these issues with daycares and other 3rd party service providers. I imagine mom never even consulted with you on this daycare and you never had an opportunity to meet her and agree to her services.
I had my fair share of dealing with mother-aligned daycare providers as well. I eventually got the OCL involved, they confirmed daycare alignment with mom. Later in court, I got the right of first refusal. What happens is that your ex goes to daycare and creates a monster out of you and daycare believed her word for word and will in turn treat you like a monster.
You seem like a pretty reasonable guy to me.
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I appreciate the suggestions you guys made but I sense the wait is finally over as the trial concluded a couple months ago and decision is likely to be released next month.
Where I have waited a little over 2 years with this charge hanging over me, let it be another month... Sigh!
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Originally posted by jaycollins5888 View PostI imagine mom never even consulted with you on this daycare and you never had an opportunity to meet her and agree to her services.
Also, will update you guys once the criminal matter decision is released.
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Originally posted by seeker101 View PostThis is exactly right!
I already knew that. They never do. You'd be lucky to even be listed on the school emergency contact list by these type of exe's!
Originally posted by seeker101 View PostThis is exactly right!
Also, will update you guys once the criminal matter decision is released.
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I suggest you bring the matter back to family court and get things properly ordered. You should be doing more than trying to get info from the daycare. Info that is useless.
1. Access
2. Custody
Restore your proper access and custody. Who cares about info from the daycare?!
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Thanks for the feedback Tayken. I have asked for gradual access expansion incl overnights as well.
Officially, it is still supervised access but for the last 4 months or so, I had been seeing my daughter for 8-12 hrs (unsupervised) every 3-4 weeks, even while criminal matter was still outstanding. The ex agreed to that after I had ~15h of supervised parenting time.
So far, there have been no issues and daughter is always happy to spend time with me.
We're due back in family court in Dec for S/C so I've initiated the discussion with ex to see if she would be agreeable to make normal/expanded access incl. overnight official on consent.
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Originally posted by seeker101 View PostThanks for the feedback Tayken. I have asked for gradual access expansion incl overnights as well.
Officially, it is still supervised access but for the last 4 months or so, I had been seeing my daughter for 8-12 hrs (unsupervised) every 3-4 weeks, even while criminal matter was still outstanding. The ex agreed to that after I had ~15h of supervised parenting time.
So far, there have been no issues and daughter is always happy to spend time with me.
We're due back in family court in Dec for S/C so I've initiated the discussion with ex to see if she would be agreeable to make normal/expanded access incl. overnight official on consent.
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They can help you with a graduated parenting plan- and instead of you and your ex fighting on the timing of when your daughter can do overnights- some neutral third party will make suggestions, that are focused on what's best for your daughter instead of what either of you wants- AND the comfort level of mom.
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Originally posted by iona6656 View PostHave you guys tried using a parenting coordinator/ parenting coach?
They can help you with a graduated parenting plan- and instead of you and your ex fighting on the timing of when your daughter can do overnights- some neutral third party will make suggestions, that are focused on what's best for your daughter instead of what either of you wants- AND the comfort level of mom.
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Originally posted by seeker101 View PostThat would work if their decision is binding. Or will we have to agree first that decision of parenting coordinator is final?
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It has to be VERY specific though- not "increased time as agreed to between the parties"
Our parenting planning has specific dates when overnights start, when and how they're expanded, etc etc
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Originally posted by Tayken View PostThis matter is way too complex for a parenting coordinator. They make minor decisions like the vacation schedule. This needs full-on arbitration or court order.
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Originally posted by Tayken View PostThis matter is way too complex for a parenting coordinator. They make minor decisions like the vacation schedule. This needs full-on arbitration or court order.
My ex- in our first session went a bit nutty on me. Just lashing out on everything he hadn't had the chance to say to me since before he was charged and spent the night in jail for assault and threatening to kill me and our infant (at the time) daughter. He proclaimed that day that "mark my words. We're going to end up fighting this out at University Ave"....and we did end up at the Unversity Ave. court- but to table a parenting plan on consent that we painstakingly (emphasis on "pain") worked out with our PC.
It took a couple of months of discussing D3s needs- and frankly our "FeeEELliNgs" before we got down to the business of hammering out a parenting plan. Which- yes, does include a vacation schedule.
My point is medium conflict cases- and even some high-conflict ones can use PCs successfully. It's just about how much both parties are willing to listen to the PC. And frankly that comes down to how good the PC is. If they're good- they'll get both parties to see the benefit of having someone who is child-focused lead the discussion.
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