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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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  #11  
Old 07-29-2022, 11:30 AM
terryfyde terryfyde is offline
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All narrative aside a properly selected third party professional / parenting coordinator in this case helps people obtain an objective opinion when they are uncertain or oblivious of their behaviour.



PTSD will send a person on the bad behaviour and bad decision route; it is a lesser lifestyle. Talk to a psychologist about therapy like CBT.
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  #12  
Old 07-29-2022, 11:33 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Islandmom View Post
I am struggling. Lawyer sent me for an assessment and I have been diagnosed with PTSD which I didn’t actually think I would meet the criteria for.

I have spoken to him twice recently in person and it leaves me having panic attacks for days and makes me physically ill and unable to eat. When we are talking he turns things around and it makes me feel like I’m crazy. I was trying to speak with him face to face because I know that a cooperative coparenting relationship is better but I don’t know if I’ll be able to(the abuse which I have evidence of if pretty horrific). I am getting help but wish I could fast forward through this. I am wondering if all communication going through a parenting coordinator will be helpful.
I'm so sorry you are going through this.

I was diagnosed with PTSD as well- and like you I was really kinda shocked when I met the criteria. lol. I had to work on all kindsa stuff like 'fear release' etc.

Unfortunately there's no real way to fast-forward through the therapy work. 4 years on- and sometimes I'm still triggered by having to deal with my ex because of our daughter. But the recovery time after gets shorter. One thing I did was have a few trusted friends + my sister who I speak with after a particularly hard encounter. It helps.

As to your last question- ABSOLUTELY 100% YES to the parenting coordinator. My ex doesn't like it - but we're back seeing our co-parent therapist and I find it helps so much. My ex and I will never have a decent co-parenting relationship. I've accepted that. BUT- having our co-parent therapist help us (really me) through the hard conversations is great. I also think it helps because my ex will listen to her- because she's not me.

Last edited by iona6656; 07-29-2022 at 11:38 AM.
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  #13  
Old 07-30-2022, 10:13 AM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Take a look. Its in a book.

https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/store

There is extensive professionally written material about how to deal with high conflict situations and people. Best to turn to professionals and not anonymous forums where people have silly fake names.

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Old 08-10-2022, 11:06 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Take a look. Its in a book.

https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/store

There is extensive professionally written material about how to deal with high conflict situations and people. Best to turn to professionals and not anonymous forums where people have silly fake names.
honestly reading about it- and experiencing it are so different. Especially because with situations of abuse- there are are so many weird power dynamics at play. I really think the best course of action is individual therapy + a neutral third party PC if it's available to the parties- cause shit, co-parent counsellors/therapists are not cheap.
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