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  • #16
    Originally posted by phaydra View Post
    and again im on disability, i can't work, he can! surely that entitles me to keep the house, i won't ever make anymore money than i do now,
    Unfortunately there is no link between equalization and earning power. BUT your disability would affect spousal support - some or all of which could be transformed into a lump-sum and traded against the property being equalized. But you have to get established the right to spousal support before you can do this sort of trading.

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    • #17
      I'm really scared now. My lawyer has been telling me that i have rights to the whole house based on that section. i guess i just wasted a whole bunch of money for nothing. how am i going to get out of this and still keep the house. I can't afford to buy him out. if I do, the house will have to be sold...and that's what he wants! i refuse to play into his hands! he's a bastard! I'm also sure he cheated on me. based on that fact alone, he should not be entitled to any of the house.

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      • #18
        I'm really sorry, I guess i seem selfish. There are other things going on I have not disclosed, but the house has been my main concern, and that said, it looks like from what i've read here, that the house will have to be sold. I'm heartsick over this, I planned to live out the rest of my life here, with a man who up until a few months ago I thought i would spend the rest of my days with. My world is collapsing around me, I have no one to care for me, and my own family doesn't care. everything i thought i was, was tied to my ex. I don't know how I can go on without him. He turned his back on me, and our love, and now i am left holding the pieces of an unfinished life.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by phaydra View Post
          i was thinking it was excluded property because it was bought with an early estate payout from my parents. section 85 of the bc family law act states that gifts or inheritances to a spouse are excluded from division.
          He contributed some money of his own, and he did repairs, and he is on title. Your case for making this excluded is really really thin. I'm being polite here, I honestly don't see how you can exclude this at all, you'll be laughed out of court.

          which one of us is right? and again im on disability, i can't work, he can! surely that entitles me to keep the house
          Your are confusing two issues:

          1) Equalization
          2) Ongoing support

          Your disability can effect ongoing support, but it is unlikely to affect equalization. You don't get to keep the family property because you are disabled. You don't get to keep the family property because your ex has the potential to make more money 10 years from now.

          i won't ever make anymore money than i do now, and losing the house, i could never hope to stand on my own two feet. he would have all his life to earn more money and to buy another house.
          You make more money than him, and by your own admission he hurt his career to take care of you. If all he gets is half the house, then you have probably lucked out. You need to settle fast, your ex has you over a barrel here. Potential payors are treated very badly in family law, you don't want to get involved in that mess.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by phaydra View Post
            I'm also sure he cheated on me. based on that fact alone, he should not be entitled to any of the house.
            Minor addendum: His cheating is irrelevant, don't waste any time dwelling on that.

            He could have a harem of girlfriends that he brought to the house on a nightly basis for 7 hours orgies, and he could provide you with the videotapes as proof, and you would not get a thing from it... except a slightly faster divorce.

            I agree, adultery should void any spousal support obligations, but apparently when you sign a marriage contract, the only clause that sticks is the one that says that the person who makes less money gets to steal some cash from the harder working half of the couple.

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            • #21
              Infidelity is irrelevant in Canadian law when it comes to divorce. Divorce in Canada is no-fault. All infidelity does is reduce the time you are obligated to wait to file for a divorce from 1 year to immediate. Notwithstanding that though, it doesn't sound like you have an evidence. You are just "sure". Why are you "sure"? Do you have some sort of tangible evidence to show that he did, or just a hunch?

              Regarding the house, to me, you have a number of hurdles to overcome. While I am not familiar with BC law, the fact that you co-mingled the gift from your parents into a joint asset, muddies the waters as to the ownership of the gift. The fact that he also put monies into the joint asset further muddy it in that you both did the same thing with the same intentions to share in the benefits of those funds.

              The fact that you paid the bills will be offset by the fact that he quit his job to look after you. You guys made a joint decision that you each would assume those roles of caretaker and provider for the relationship. It would be patently unfair to your ex to punish him for choosing to care for you instead of continuing to contribute towards the house, after all, you both decided that was what you wanted to do.

              IMO, your best argument revolves around getting the gift from your parents excluded. Just know, he gets his monies back as well. The sweat equity he put in the house would be taken into consideration as up-keep and increased value. Once you've each taken your monetary contribution out of the house, you then split the remaining value.

              You both muddied the waters when it comes to your contributions to the house, but the amounts are clear. He shouldn't be excluded from the remaining value due to your joint choice that he withdrawal from the work force to care for you. And if you were successful in doing so, I have a feeling you would get hit with spousal support for a long period of time as his career and earning potential suffered due to the decision to care for you instead of further his career.

              Edit - I forget another issue that muddies everything is he is on both title and the mortgage. He is an owner of the house and entitled to it value. I would believe you have a very weak claim for all of the equity in the house (minus his $30k or whatever it was).

              Also, I don't recall whether he quit his job before or after the house was purchased. If you guys bought the house 9 years ago, he worked for a couple years contributing to the mortgage, then quits to take care of you, well....isn't it reasonable to also contemplate those years he contributed?

              But anyway, I have a feeling a judge would find that not equalizing the house would likely be unjustly enriching one party and to do so would be unreasonable given the circumstances.
              Last edited by HammerDad; 06-07-2013, 10:05 AM.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by phaydra View Post
                he got half the house?? my mind is reeling! how could this happen! im sick he's not! if he went out and got more jobs he could up his income, but he's claiming only minimal earnings for last years taxes. i think he's hiding money.
                Make him a fair offer which gives him back the money he sunk into the house, and the value of his renovation work. Then you see where you stand. He may ask for his share of what the increase in the value would be, and that would be fair, but assessing a percentage(20% of the increase? 50% of the increase) would be negotatiated.

                The house doesn't have anything to do with whether you are sick or not.

                If he took care of you, to the detriment of his earning potential, then he can claim spousal support.

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                • #23
                  Divorce (and the common law equivalent) is one of the worst things to confront, both emotionally and financially. You should each assume you will lose, at the VERY minimum, 10 years worth of finances. I lost everything I had accumulated my entire adult life, and in addition, am paying so much support that I will not even begin to be able to rebuild my finances for years to come. I may not be able to afford a home on my own ever again.

                  90% of the time houses are sold and split. You should accept this right away. Your partner gave up years of career and earning potential for you, and now that requires accountability. You must pay him back for the sacrifices he made. Recent behaviour aside, it sounds like he did a lot of things for you and invested a lot into your relationship. He will be compensated for it to some degree.

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                  • #24
                    that even though he is on the mortgage and title but didn't pay anything, the house is legally mine.
                    Title is title. It is the legal way of writing, in big block letters, "I own all or part of this". There is no magic way around it. It doesn't matter if you are in a relationship, married, related, or complete strangers.

                    im on disability, i can't work, he can! surely that entitles me to keep the house
                    That is an issue related to support, not equalization.

                    My lawyer has been telling me that i have rights to the whole house based on that section.
                    Location: bc
                    In Ontario, the mingling of your inheritance in the house would remove its excluded status. Many (most?) posters on this forum appear to be from Ontario, and so there will be a large sample bias on the advice you will receive.

                    Family law is different from province to province. Legal advice from a lawyer in BC would be the best way to address your issues.

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                    • #25
                      I just found out he filed a certificate of pending litigation on the house and a notice of family claim. he is going for spousal support. he wants the maximum for five years. I don't think i'll ever get this man out of my life! how can i make this as clean as possible. i don't want to be paying him for the next five years! also, I didn't know about the cpl. My lawyer told me it's a first come first serve basis. does this mean when we sell the house that he gets paid out first? im really frusterated with my lawyer. He should have told me about this and I would have filed one first. But he also says it may work in my favour because he's the one who started the action in court?so i can go for costs?

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by phaydra View Post
                        I just found out he filed a certificate of pending litigation on the house and a notice of family claim. he is going for spousal support. he wants the maximum for five years. I don't think i'll ever get this man out of my life! how can i make this as clean as possible. i don't want to be paying him for the next five years! also, I didn't know about the cpl. My lawyer told me it's a first come first serve basis. does this mean when we sell the house that he gets paid out first? im really frusterated with my lawyer. He should have told me about this and I would have filed one first. But he also says it may work in my favour because he's the one who started the action in court?so i can go for costs?
                        First off I am going to tell you something you may not like, your lawyer promise you the moon but its a judge who will decide. Dont count your chickens before they hatched when it comes to costs.

                        What you need to do is do all the number crunching that needs to be done. You may as well face the truth, he will get something out of the house. As for SS that is hard to say but he did look after you for a number of years when he could of been out in the workplace.

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                        • #27
                          I think it's more reasonable that he would get awarded costs.

                          You admit he invested into the house and renovated it, plus he's on title and mortgage, but you don't want to give him any equity.

                          You admit he gave up his career to care for you and that you make 3x what he does, but you don't want to give him any spousal.

                          People on disability still pay equalization, spousal, and everything else...

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                          • #28
                            Don't think that just because he's started litigation court is now inevitable. You can still make him offers to settle and negotiate. He probably doesn't want to go to court either, he just wants you to be fair with him.

                            He's asking for max spousal support probably because his lawyer convinced him to start high. He will likely accept less. The less equalization you offer, the more spousal I bet he'll want.

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by Rioe View Post
                              Don't think that just because he's started litigation court is now inevitable. You can still make him offers to settle and negotiate. He probably doesn't want to go to court either, he just wants you to be fair with him.

                              He's asking for max spousal support probably because his lawyer convinced him to start high. He will likely accept less. The less equalization you offer, the more spousal I bet he'll want.
                              Very wise advise.

                              Many people in these situations start off with what we call "Blue Sky" bargaining tactics. If you ask for everything, you may not get everything but you might get something.

                              He probably has a reasonable claim on some equity and some support. Make him a reasonable offer, point out the costs of court, and hope for the best. If you can give him enough equalization/equity he might relent on spousal support ( a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush).

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                              • #30
                                This claim he gave me doesn't make sense. he says hes only asking for half the house, but this is what he put in the family claim notice. can someone tell me what this means in english? it looks like hes asking for the same thing three times, and that he wants the whole house? under orders he put:

                                1)declaration that the respondent hold her interest in the property in trust for the claimant.
                                2) in the alternative, for a determination of the interest of the claimant in the property held by the respondent and a declaration that the respondent hold the interest of the claimant in trust for the claimant.
                                3) In the alternative, for a declaration of the interest of the claimant in the property held by the respondent and a declaration that the respondent holds the interest of the claimant in trust for the claimant.

                                what does holding in trust mean? is he saying he wants the whole thing now? and does this mean he wants to stay on the title and mortgage? He said he wanted to sell and now i get this...does this mean he doesn't want to sell now?

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