I just want to rant.
I hate this place of separation/divorce. I've been separated for 5 years, still not fn divorced, my ex and I are not friends despite having been married for 14 years and having 3 kids together. I don't trust her, she won't follow agreements or tell me what she wants. We settled everything years ago and pay support based on income but don't have a comprehensive SA. Her lawyer is an angry negative advocate that is unwilling to even talk to me or create an agreement and is costing my ex (and subsequently my kids) thousands.
I come here every stinking day and read how crappy, greedy, and stupid people are. Yet, I can't walk away because I need to continue to learn so that I can be prepared because my ex is seeking things which ignore reality and won't settle out of court. It has been almost a year since she filed and we have had only one CC so far.
I have to represent myself to save me from the burden of paying someone 4x what I make - make that is before taxes, child support, and spousal support - probably about 13x after considering that.
Despite having 3 kids 50/50 and paying offset CS with a written CS agreement and agreeing with my ex, the CRA continually denies my dependent claim which is about $10000 more in taxes that I have had to pay over 5 years.
When I go out on first dates, half the time we sit and bash our ex's and talk about the frustration of it all.
My ex forwards email exchanges, where we are arguing about money, to my kids.
My ex has recently discussed with our kids more than once moving 3 hours away, from an area with plenty of jobs, to an area with limited jobs, for financial reasons, and has told me she will take the kids with her. This of course stresses out my kids. I live in the home they were born in. The only financial benefit from moving would be getting full CS, which only a stupid person would consider when it is clear the cost of raising the kids solo would cancel that out. Just that she would mention taking the kids away causes me great pause that this person I married would be willing to do that to me and her kids.
For about a month she told me she would call the cops if I showed up at her door (because we had an argument about money - with no yelling and no name calling) and so I waited in the car for pick up/drops offs. Meanwhile during that month, she gladly walked into my house on occasion to pick up the kids.
No shortage of angry emails from the ex that make no sense - like being yelled at for sharing 'medical' information by asking mutual friends about a recommendation for kids orthodontist.
There are many here who have it worse, but I am so sick of it. I have avoided pushing for completing the SA and divorce because I know that how we initially split was fair, and I was not willing to go to court as I was not looking for a change, just closure.
Still 5 years!! Not to mention the on and off again 3 years before that that it took my ex to decide to end the marriage - off with the ring, on with the ring...
My life though, is good, great actually, but this one part of it is a constant drag.
It confuses me how horrible this is, when I thought I had married someone who would never act this way, and how naive I was when it happened to my friends before it happened to me.
The most disorienting thing is - her rant would be similar I suspect
I hate this place of separation/divorce. I've been separated for 5 years, still not fn divorced, my ex and I are not friends despite having been married for 14 years and having 3 kids together. I don't trust her, she won't follow agreements or tell me what she wants. We settled everything years ago and pay support based on income but don't have a comprehensive SA. Her lawyer is an angry negative advocate that is unwilling to even talk to me or create an agreement and is costing my ex (and subsequently my kids) thousands.
I come here every stinking day and read how crappy, greedy, and stupid people are. Yet, I can't walk away because I need to continue to learn so that I can be prepared because my ex is seeking things which ignore reality and won't settle out of court. It has been almost a year since she filed and we have had only one CC so far.
I have to represent myself to save me from the burden of paying someone 4x what I make - make that is before taxes, child support, and spousal support - probably about 13x after considering that.
Despite having 3 kids 50/50 and paying offset CS with a written CS agreement and agreeing with my ex, the CRA continually denies my dependent claim which is about $10000 more in taxes that I have had to pay over 5 years.
When I go out on first dates, half the time we sit and bash our ex's and talk about the frustration of it all.
My ex forwards email exchanges, where we are arguing about money, to my kids.
My ex has recently discussed with our kids more than once moving 3 hours away, from an area with plenty of jobs, to an area with limited jobs, for financial reasons, and has told me she will take the kids with her. This of course stresses out my kids. I live in the home they were born in. The only financial benefit from moving would be getting full CS, which only a stupid person would consider when it is clear the cost of raising the kids solo would cancel that out. Just that she would mention taking the kids away causes me great pause that this person I married would be willing to do that to me and her kids.
For about a month she told me she would call the cops if I showed up at her door (because we had an argument about money - with no yelling and no name calling) and so I waited in the car for pick up/drops offs. Meanwhile during that month, she gladly walked into my house on occasion to pick up the kids.
No shortage of angry emails from the ex that make no sense - like being yelled at for sharing 'medical' information by asking mutual friends about a recommendation for kids orthodontist.
There are many here who have it worse, but I am so sick of it. I have avoided pushing for completing the SA and divorce because I know that how we initially split was fair, and I was not willing to go to court as I was not looking for a change, just closure.
Still 5 years!! Not to mention the on and off again 3 years before that that it took my ex to decide to end the marriage - off with the ring, on with the ring...
My life though, is good, great actually, but this one part of it is a constant drag.
It confuses me how horrible this is, when I thought I had married someone who would never act this way, and how naive I was when it happened to my friends before it happened to me.
The most disorienting thing is - her rant would be similar I suspect
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