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I think my Ex just gave up… Now what?

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  • #16
    Originally posted by Stillbreathing View Post
    Hide on Bush, I hate to break it to you but even if you somehow got a summary judgment that does not mean in any way shape or form that your going to court days are over. You are niave if you think so. As long as the kids aren’t 18 yet your ex can keep bringing you back to court and reopening visitation or child support issues. Hell, even after age 18 he can still bring you back to court regarding S7, post secondary expenses and child support if applicable. If you have a disabled child together then the sky is the limit and your ex can keep the court going for as long as the child lives! What fun! Even if your matter becomes “resolved” and you become divorced… guess what? You guessed it, your ex can still keep fling court proceedings against you. One of our senior posters, Arabian had this annoyance long after their divorce where her ex would file something at least once a year. That’s the beauty and the curse of family court, if you have a jerk of an ex, they can keep the bs going forever, or until one of you dies. There is also a case of 2 lawyers who divorced and were involved in protracted litigation for decades and so long that both of their counsel died in the meantime.
    120 days to wait is chump change. My ex refused access for 2 years, then 21/2 years and each time he was awarded supervised access again to give him a chance to rebuild his relationship with the kids. Family court judges do their best to encourage and allow access even if one party has been unreasonable and were the ones to cut off access themselves. Like my ex, your ex can refuse to exercise their access and after two years ask for it to start again and a judge will likely do everything they can to allow that to happen again ( although it would likely be supervised after such a long period of time).
    You need to accept the family court mantra of “hurry up and wait” or you are going to drive yourself nuts.The only thing you can do is make a reasonable offer to settle, leave it open and wait until your next court date.
    Oh I completely understand and fully expect to be a frequent face within a court room. My desire is to solve this matter now so we can move on with our lives until the next matter. Especially as I was seeking to increase my mobility rights to secure valid employment and my Ex's sole argument was that it would effect access to my Son. As he forfeited his parenting-time, that argument is no longer valid.

    Right now the only valid argument for my Ex is Section 7 expenses and mobility as I cant see him gaining any traction on gaining majority parenting-time, decision-making or residency of my Son.

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    • #17
      What are you doing to encourage your son to see his father? Are you actively speaking to him about having a dinner or call or anything? Maybe you can all go out together...
      Shouldn't your focus be to repair the relationship so that your child has a father in his life?

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by arbortrail22 View Post
        What are you doing to encourage your son to see his father? Are you actively speaking to him about having a dinner or call or anything? Maybe you can all go out together...
        Shouldn't your focus be to repair the relationship so that your child has a father in his life?

        If you go back and read the posts from "Hide From Bush" you will see it has many mentions that the father is very verbally abusive of the child and that those statements are backed up by those that investigated.

        Now the father is seeking full decision making in court....abusive as well.
        The child said they would kill themselves if they had to go to the fathers. It keeps going.

        So Kumbaya isn't about to work, even if they were the last 3 people on earth.

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        • #19
          I read it differently. Sounded more like a tit for tat between warring parents, with a kid caught in the middle. I agree with arbortrail22.

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          • #20
            I spoke with duty counsel and two legal aid lawyers who both suggested a summary judgement on everything other than the section 7 as there is still a reason for trial.

            Looking through these forums, to submit the summary judgement it would be through a;

            Notice of Motion
            Affidavit
            Factum

            That would be it if I’m not mistaken?

            I took a sample factum I found on here and have been working on it. It’s quiet lengthy which I am assuming is common. I think the hard part is figuring out what the affidavit should have compared to the factum. I feel like the majority of the factum and affidavit will have generally the same information (with the factum having obviously more)

            I don’t know if it was mentioned prior but

            - OCL declined participating twice

            - CAS ADR was withdrawn because Son refuses to participate so CAS closed the file stating “Child has been given option to determine access with father. Due to child’s claim he will never return to father, risk of harm has diminished. Should such time as child is required to return with father, file will be reassessed”

            - Father has stated (in writing) he won’t contact my Son or seek visits until Son wants to go. Son has made it very clear he will never want to go
            Last edited by Hide on Bush; 04-08-2022, 12:51 PM.

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            • #21
              Especially as I was seeking to increase my mobility rights to secure valid employment and my Ex's sole argument was that it would effect access to my Son.

              Are you looking to move a big distance and to change schools for your son? For a job you've already secured?

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              • #22
                Originally posted by arbortrail22 View Post
                Especially as I was seeking to increase my mobility rights to secure valid employment and my Ex's sole argument was that it would effect access to my Son.

                Are you looking to move a big distance and to change schools for your son? For a job you've already secured?
                The furthest I was looking to move was 50km away. At the end of the day, husband is a military member and thus subject to move at any time. Also from 2010 to 2019 I had the ability to move anywhere within Ontario. Ex sought the limit in 2019 because he was going to be more active in my Son's life. He has been less active and has resulted into the situation we are at now.

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                • #23
                  Update:

                  Ex did not show up to pick up my son on Wednesday or this long weekend. He has not returned a single message from me or my son in two weeks. My son has been trying to call him and he is being ignored.

                  My Ex also bowed out of CAS and chose not to participate anymore. We were trying to schedule child protection mediation and he said he was done with CAS completely now and started ignoring their calls and messages which prompted CAS to close the file because my son is not going there, thus no risk.

                  Then I finally received a message from OC saying that an offer to settle is forthcoming.

                  The kicker is, I started receiving messages from friends saying they saw my ex out this weekend (his weekend) partying and getting back into the booze and drugs. Obviously nothing I can prove, but I think he is finally giving up.

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                  • #24
                    He still owes you money and cs needs to be updated so wait for the offer and go from there. I expect it will be a shit offer but there is always hope!

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                    • #25
                      Their letter to you worked, you are all wound up anticipating the offer.
                      Simply act as if nothing has happened yet because it hasn't.

                      Comment

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