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Legal aid and ex awarded costs in exceeds of 11k

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  • #16
    Originally posted by Newfie76 View Post
    LOL Really? You got it half right...I pay today, yes that's right. But I also paid yesterday as well. The entire time I was with my ex I paid....I paid when she quit her work because she was pregnant....I paid every time she went to the mall, every time she traveled down south, every time her back hurt from doing nothing, every time she was bored, every time I took parental leave in hopes she would find work or go to school..every time she saw the snow fall.. oh I paid. And because I made one simple mistake and fell in love....she is allowed to live life not worrying that her boss is pleased of her quality of work, or that the car will start to get her to work, or where her next cheque will come from....no she hit the lottery....just like every women that receives SS or CS. Yes even CS!!

    If the law were fair...and every one were responsible for their own well being before, during and after marriage....it would be the woman paying the man for every day they lived stress free from the daily grind of everyday life during the marriage. What a life!


    Blaming the country for something I agreed to? NOPE! Never agreed to take care a woman that cheated on me multiple times. Nope! Never agreed to being a financial slave to a woman that hit me over and over, once cutting my head with a breaking plate. Nope. I never agreed to the mental torture of being yelled at each day. Nope. I never agreed to the life time of struggling to pay over half my income to this same women. Nope.

    When your young, in love and you see what a wonderful life your parents had married....you get married....and have kids....never would someone think of divorce when they are in love. That argument feminists make is weak and lame...."you agreed to it"...Nope.

    Its only eye opening for men when Canadian law opens it for them. Its too late by then. Hence, why over 60,000 men in Canada have already jumped to MGTOW..."take care yourself and NOT the woman".

    What is lame is taking money from someone that actually earned it, went to school prior to marriage, earned an education that led to a successful career and was at the height of his career when first married. IMO....there is no excuses...just cold hearted, LAZY, opportunists that crave the security of being taken care of. And they use the law to their advantage. Shameful. Less than 3% of CS/SS entitled men take any payment from their ex. 3%!!!! Why is that? Think about that fact long and hard!
    This kind of describes what happened to me but not in the way you would presume - I went to school prior to marriage and had a successful career. Throughout the last 20 years of our 30-year marriage my ex gladly accepted the never-ending stream of money from me to finance our business. Now my ex lives with a woman (10 years younger than him who was/is married to someone else for over 30 years) who opts to live off of my ex as opposed to getting SS from her ex. She has never worked a day in her life.

    I made a poor decision to marry this guy. I made an even worse decision to stay with him all those years. Had I gotten out early in the marriage (as I had contemplated at one time) I would most certainly be in a much better financial position and likely would have retired by now. I too grew up in an intact family that valued commitment and honor. To divorce my ex was a decision I did not make hastily. I just made the decision way too late.

    We are all responsible for the decisions we make in life. No one else is to blame for our respective lot in life. Living the rest of your life with gut-wrenching regret and bitterness simply isn't healthy. You have to accept the outcome of your decisions and move on as best you can. Blaming others for your decisions of the past is futile.

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    • #17
      When i first started on this forum ,i thought is was for males only ,newfie71 opened my eyes up big time ,i was wondering why i wasnt getting responses like the other ones.

      I completly agree with my new best friend and his beliefs,the judges are out to destroy fammily lives as with lawyers ,my ex ran up a 11k legal aid bill without a job or one that she admitted too,how does the govermment allow that ,oh the tax payors ,wonder if everyone knows that.

      abrain you say i should lower my standard of living and charge my kids rent while they go to college,so i should just rollover and pay for an ex that cant look after herself while i struggle daily to keep a roof over my kids head ,i want the best for my kids while my ex sits there and complains that she doesnt have enough money to live on,she is in the ontario works system,room and board etc ,i find it disgusting and to have a judge do this to me and everyone else out there in a situation like this ,more and more males take on the kids ,i have about five male friends that do this and have the same problems while there exs live off the spoils of there mates that they didnt want to stay with.

      I also wish i would of left a lot earlier ,but stayed together for the kids ,what a mistake and dont suggest that to anyone ,just helps the ex ,to not do anything,.

      Mind you i do know single mothers that are doing great and not living off the system and looking after there kids ,MINE DIDDNT.

      I struggle everyday to keeep a house over there heads ,but the ex keeps on getting free services to keep the crap going,,

      I am currently trying to refinance my house to pay off her debts to legal aid and an equalization payment(this one i agree to a point.)

      It kills me to see my pension split every month for something that i worked for

      It kills me to see ss each month

      I will work as best i can to support a non functioning human ,even towards the kids.yes that is true.

      Sorry about the rant ,all the best to the dads and my best freind newfie76.lol

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      • #18
        stop blaming the system and the judge. You yourself said that you were not prepared when it went to trial. It is your own fault that you did as bad as you did so own up to that and deal with the consequences.

        Yes you may have to downsize, yes the kids may have to work to help pay the bills but just worry about what you have to do and not the ex. This is the hand you were dealt (by not having legal representation or being prepared) so now you have to deal with the fallout from it.

        Yes if you were female and the same thing happened my advice would be the same.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by lplp View Post
          the judges are out to destroy fammily lives as with lawyers ,my ex ran up a 11k legal aid bill without a job or one that she admitted too
          Offhand, $11,000 as a legal bill for a trial seems to be fairly low. Sounds like legal aid was very cost effective. If your ex had paid for her lawyer, you could have been on the hook for substantially more.

          Note that I think legal aid is broken, and unfair to those who have to fight against it. However, in this case, the $11k is small potatoes.

          so i should just rollover and pay for an ex that cant look after herself while i struggle daily to keep a roof over my kids head
          You tried not rolling over, it cost you $11k. Rolling over might not be fair, but it is likely cheaper.

          I am currently trying to refinance my house to pay off her debts to legal aid and an equalization payment(this one i agree to a point.)
          You own a house? Things can get a lot worse for you. You haven't hit rock bottom just yet.

          Comment

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