Hello everybody...
So this is my first post, hopefully I can find some help here...?
A very short version of my story, and then some questions.
I live in Van, B.C
My ex fell pregnant three months after we began seeing each other,
She moved in with me at about four months pregnant, (Lectures about using reliable birth control and rushing into relationships will be ignored, Ive got my Mum for that...!)
One month after our son was born I cut off a finger at work, while they were sewing it back on at hospital they gave me an overdose of morphine and had to resuscitate me (it was a bit of a Pulp Fiction moment...!!)
Five days later me and ex argued and I smashed up some furniture! Neither ex or son were in the room at the time, and it wasn't really that bad. That was the first and only time I did ANYTHING like that. Still, Im not proud of what I did.
Ex went to her parents, I have been giving money almost since the day she left, we agreed to see couples counsellor. .Then she changed her mind and refused to talk to me (about anything...!) reported me to Child Welfare, saying they think son is in danger in my presence ( They have told me that nothing in the file can hurt me in any way) and told me she wanted sole custody because I am:
Abusive to women (not true)
Have a violent temper (not true, although on the face of it it will be hard for me to disprove.)
A danger to our son (not true)
An alcoholic (not true)
Our son is 11 months old now and getting access has been like pulling teeth and on her terms only. I finally had enough of this and said I was going to take her to court, three days later she had papers served on me.
A couple of weeks later (About six weeks ago now) we started seeing a couples counsellor and she finally agreed to let our son come to my house. (She stormed out of our session today screaming that Im being too reasonable...!?!)
We just had first appearance on Monday and she flat out refused to even talk about increasing access.
I am representing myself, she has lawyer. Judge told us to go outside and try to make agreement. She said I have bad parental judgement cos I let him play with a plastic coat hanger!?!? (Obviously her lawyer didnt repeat this to the judge)
We now have a Family Case Conference in two and a half months.
I want:
Joint Custody and Joint Guardianship (she agrees but wants to be custodial parent. I am unhappy with this as I think she wont make any effort to discuss our sons upbringing and just say we cant agree, and then just do what she wants. I have many, many documented instances of her being totally unreasonable.)
Q1- Can I object to this or should I let my concerns be known and then if it does happen go back to court?
For access I am currently getting two week days of three hours each and five and a half on Sundays, all at my house. I want eight hours on Sunday and four on week days. Then after a couple of months of that I want him to start spending the night and give him back to her lunch time Monday.
Q2- Considering his age (11 months right now) is this OK? (he is totally fine about being with me on his own, never crys or gets stressed)
My long term goal is for us to have him 50% of time each. She says she is not opposed but will not agree to it?
Q3- Im not sure how to approach this one, any suggestions? Im thinking of suggesting that a better approach might be that she agree to it, but with caveats attached to an agreement. (Like, if I take him on Bar crawls or start injecting Heroin into my eye balls then the deals off.)
As I am representing myself her Lawyer is expected to help me along to a certain degree. (I will double check everything he tells me as, for obvious reasons, I have some trust issues!!)
Q4- I want to meet with him before the F.C.C and try to do away with the unimportant issues (like the coat hanger.....) does he have to meet with me if I have a valid topic I wish to discuss or can he refuse?
I am very confident that this will all go well for me, but am a bit nervous of the unknown.
Q5- How many stupid questions can I ask you lot before you get p'ed off with me....?
If anybody wants clarification of any of the issues just ask, If its not something I am happy to post publicly I will PM you.
Thanks.
So this is my first post, hopefully I can find some help here...?
A very short version of my story, and then some questions.
I live in Van, B.C
My ex fell pregnant three months after we began seeing each other,
She moved in with me at about four months pregnant, (Lectures about using reliable birth control and rushing into relationships will be ignored, Ive got my Mum for that...!)
One month after our son was born I cut off a finger at work, while they were sewing it back on at hospital they gave me an overdose of morphine and had to resuscitate me (it was a bit of a Pulp Fiction moment...!!)
Five days later me and ex argued and I smashed up some furniture! Neither ex or son were in the room at the time, and it wasn't really that bad. That was the first and only time I did ANYTHING like that. Still, Im not proud of what I did.
Ex went to her parents, I have been giving money almost since the day she left, we agreed to see couples counsellor. .Then she changed her mind and refused to talk to me (about anything...!) reported me to Child Welfare, saying they think son is in danger in my presence ( They have told me that nothing in the file can hurt me in any way) and told me she wanted sole custody because I am:
Abusive to women (not true)
Have a violent temper (not true, although on the face of it it will be hard for me to disprove.)
A danger to our son (not true)
An alcoholic (not true)
Our son is 11 months old now and getting access has been like pulling teeth and on her terms only. I finally had enough of this and said I was going to take her to court, three days later she had papers served on me.
A couple of weeks later (About six weeks ago now) we started seeing a couples counsellor and she finally agreed to let our son come to my house. (She stormed out of our session today screaming that Im being too reasonable...!?!)
We just had first appearance on Monday and she flat out refused to even talk about increasing access.
I am representing myself, she has lawyer. Judge told us to go outside and try to make agreement. She said I have bad parental judgement cos I let him play with a plastic coat hanger!?!? (Obviously her lawyer didnt repeat this to the judge)
We now have a Family Case Conference in two and a half months.
I want:
Joint Custody and Joint Guardianship (she agrees but wants to be custodial parent. I am unhappy with this as I think she wont make any effort to discuss our sons upbringing and just say we cant agree, and then just do what she wants. I have many, many documented instances of her being totally unreasonable.)
Q1- Can I object to this or should I let my concerns be known and then if it does happen go back to court?
For access I am currently getting two week days of three hours each and five and a half on Sundays, all at my house. I want eight hours on Sunday and four on week days. Then after a couple of months of that I want him to start spending the night and give him back to her lunch time Monday.
Q2- Considering his age (11 months right now) is this OK? (he is totally fine about being with me on his own, never crys or gets stressed)
My long term goal is for us to have him 50% of time each. She says she is not opposed but will not agree to it?
Q3- Im not sure how to approach this one, any suggestions? Im thinking of suggesting that a better approach might be that she agree to it, but with caveats attached to an agreement. (Like, if I take him on Bar crawls or start injecting Heroin into my eye balls then the deals off.)
As I am representing myself her Lawyer is expected to help me along to a certain degree. (I will double check everything he tells me as, for obvious reasons, I have some trust issues!!)
Q4- I want to meet with him before the F.C.C and try to do away with the unimportant issues (like the coat hanger.....) does he have to meet with me if I have a valid topic I wish to discuss or can he refuse?
I am very confident that this will all go well for me, but am a bit nervous of the unknown.
Q5- How many stupid questions can I ask you lot before you get p'ed off with me....?
If anybody wants clarification of any of the issues just ask, If its not something I am happy to post publicly I will PM you.
Thanks.
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