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CL separation.. NEED advice!

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  • CL separation.. NEED advice!

    I have been in a CL relationship for 4-1/2 yrs, my ex-fiancee and I have 1 child. We very recently split up (she left and has her own apartment now, has left me with the mortgage, pad rent, and all the household bills). She has a boyfriend after only DAYS of us splitting up. We bought a mobile home together 1yr ago and her name is on the title. All I would like is shared custody of our son, and not to pay ss or cs. We both work at the same company, and she makes about 3k less a year than I do. She started here about 5mnths ago, but always has had jobs and is very able to work.

    What I would like to know is, as she abandoned our home and left everything on me can I change the lock? Yes, her name is on the title but she contributes nothing and has said she will not. She says she will sign off on her end of the title. I do not want her coming in and taking things which are mine as I basically own everything except for her personal belongings which she has taken with her.

    Also, she will take a leave from work as she is stressed and her dad is terminally ill. Her leave will be for 6weeks and she will no doubt want money from me to support her during this time (which I cannot pay as I barely have enough now to live after being left with paying everything). She will take our son out of town with her on her leave, and I will have to come and get him on weekends. Will I have to pay her?

    I have kept very detailed journals of everything that has gone on and all my time spent watching our son while she takes off on weekends with her boyfriend and leaves him with a babysitter if I am not watching him. I have him much more of the time than she does.

    I dont feel I should have to pay cs or ss (I have our son more than half the time), she IS able to work 40hrs/week and is scheduled to do so at our workplace. She frequently takes unpaid days off for stress related things which makes it look like I make more money than her, but we both make almost the same if she works her scheduled hours.

    Sorry for the length of my post, any advice would be appreciated!

  • #2
    If you can show that you have the son more then 50% of the time then you have a chance of not having to pay CS, but rather she would have to pay you.
    But once that issue is initiated I think that the amount of time he spends with you will decrease and the amount of time he spends at the day care will increase. She will then want to have you share in the costs of child care.
    As for SS, this is a slippery slope particularly if your incomes are relatively the same. It is clear she is self supportive and not in need, however, your "means" is greatly reduced due to the matrimonial debt. I’d seek to have a legal separation agreement if she is willing to sign off on the house. Sure the cost to maintain it is high right now with your other debt, but in the long run you will be glad you kept it. As for the lock, yes you can change them now that she has moved out and into her own place, even if it is with another person.

    Your case is very tricky look to get a meeting with a lawyer the fee will be well worth it.
    Maybe ask for an opinion letter, which will outline your options and what you must follow to accomplish each of the options.

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    • #3
      Common law she wants to move with child

      My son was in a common law relationship for 8 years and they have a 4 year old child together. They are living together right now until the separation agreement is done. She works in a bar at night. She has now come home and told my son that she is moving in with some guy in one week so hurry and get the agreement done.

      What rights does my son have since he doesn't know this guy and does not want his daughter with some creep?

      Can he stop her from moving?

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