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  • custody question

    Facts:
    1. Ex has had temporary sole custody starting Oct 2011 (about 2 years now)
    2. my position was either joint & shared custody or split/joint & shared custody. (thanks WorkingDaD)
    3. OCL recommended custody to her based on the restraining order (the false charges were withdrawn and hence no restraining order now)
    4. I disputed OCL's report
    5. Judge allowed to question the social worker for two hours but I am jobless now and cant afford the hefty fees.
    6. my counsel (pretty much pro-bono) is saying that ex has had custody for nearly two years, there is no way the judge is going to turn it over, so i should just give custody to ex and move on.
    7. the ex gives a lot of trouble with access, i.e. tries to increase conflict just to make a case that joint custody wont be possible.

    I am wondering what should I do at this point, should I just sign over custody? I dont wany my child's mother to be out of his life, but i dont want to be out of his life either.

    what are the things that could come back to bite if i give custody to her.?


    if I agree to give her custody I am already going to condition it with following

    1- she cannot take our child out of country without consent.

    2- she cannot give his custody to any one else (i am very confident that she will try to give custody to the maternal grandmother so that she can get married again)
    3- she cannot change his name without consent.
    4- all section seven expenses must be pre-approved or are her own responsibility?


    how else can i de-tooth sole custody?

  • #2
    Originally posted by sahibjee View Post
    how else can i de-tooth sole custody?
    Have the court order state that you will have full access to the child's medical, dental, and educational records.

    The court order will be something you can show that will get you access to records immediately.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Mess View Post
      Have the court order state that you will have full access to the child's medical, dental, and educational records.

      The court order will be something you can show that will get you access to records immediately.
      Even though I already have that order, most of the time I am not even informed what medical professionals are involved in our sons lives, I.e I know who the family doctor is, but she dosnt take him to family doctor, she takes him to walkin clinic gets a referral from there and there the trail begins, tests and so on get performed I only learn about it when (and if) she can't make it to one of the appointments and asks me to step in!

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by sahibjee View Post
        Even though I already have that order, most of the time I am not even informed what medical professionals are involved in our sons lives, I.e I know who the family doctor is, but she dosnt take him to family doctor, she takes him to walkin clinic gets a referral from there and there the trail begins, tests and so on get performed I only learn about it when (and if) she can't make it to one of the appointments and asks me to step in!
        The way to find out is to contact the Ministry of Health and Long Term Care and request the full record (7 years) for the child in question. When they challenge you if you are a parent to the child just supply a copy of the court order.

        What you will get back is every OHIP billing (clinical encounter) that the child had. You will obviously need to know the OHIP number for the child to retrieve this record information.

        From there you will know EVERY doctor and touch point within the public system of health care that the child has encountered. (Even lab orders etc.) You can then go to each and every clinician and subsequently request the medical records on file for the encounter and child in question. You will know the exact date of the encounter, the doctor's name and full details and specifically the ICD-9 billing code for the encounter.

        You just need to inform yourself by the way and do the right thing if you really want the information.

        As well, I would recommend you get the records from TeleHealth Ontario as well.

        Order in hand you can get each and every medical record.

        Where this pattern of records retreval doesn't work well is for non-publicly funded alternative health care. For example, if the child has had encounters with other providers (e.g. Reiki "Healer", Chiropractor, etc...) that are not part of the OHIP billing system your luck will be as good as anyone's.

        You could call the various offices in close proximity to the other parent for a variety of providers but, it is a long process.

        It is always amazing to see what is recorded in medical records for children...

        Good Luck!
        Tayken

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Tayken View Post
          The way to find out is to contact the Ministry of Health and Long Term Care and request the full record (7 years) for the child in question. When they challenge you if you are a parent to the child just supply a copy of the court order.

          What you will get back is every OHIP billing (clinical encounter) that the child had. You will obviously need to know the OHIP number for the child to retrieve this record information.
          Ok, assuming that such a court order is in hand, what if the parent does not know the OHIP number for the child and the other parent is unwilling to provide?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Exquizique View Post
            Ok, assuming that such a court order is in hand, what if the parent does not know the OHIP number for the child and the other parent is unwilling to provide?
            Excellent question.

            OHIP records including the client record is a health care (medical) record. So, if you have an order granting you access to all the records you can go visit Service Ontario with order in hand. All you need to provide is the name of the child in question (full), birth date and birth city. The SO person should be able to look up and print out a notice of OHIP insurance letter. On it it will provide the full OHIP number.

            Service Ontario doesn't process the ministry records requests. You will have to go into a MHLTC office to get those. But, now you have OHIP number in hand.

            Good Luck!
            Tayken

            PS: The reason I mention the medical records are so interesting is that for many situation where someone is making a false allegation of violence and abuse in accordance with Rule 24.(4) of the CLRA the medical records are often VOID of any concerns being raised to the clinician regarding the other parent.

            If a parent is alleging abuse and the clinician records it but doesn't call CAS it speaks VOLUMES to the complete and utter nonsense of the false allegations being made by that parent. (Because clinicians are obligated to report abuse and/or neglect and/or maltreatment.)
            Last edited by Tayken; 08-16-2013, 01:11 PM.

            Comment


            • #7
              Thanks Tayken, excellent and helpful response. I will make sure this information gets relayed to the parties that need it.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Exquizique View Post
                Thanks Tayken, excellent and helpful response. I will make sure this information gets relayed to the parties that need it.
                If you run into any issues with the ministries send me a PM and I can provide more info.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Tayken View Post
                  If you run into any issues with the ministries send me a PM and I can provide more info.
                  Aye Aye Cap'n!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Tayken View Post
                    The way to find out is to contact the Ministry of Health and Long Term Care and request the full record (7 years) for the child in question. When they challenge you if you are a parent to the child just supply a copy of the court order.

                    What you will get back is every OHIP billing (clinical encounter) that the child had. You will obviously need to know the OHIP number for the child to retrieve this record information.

                    From there you will know EVERY doctor and touch point within the public system of health care that the child has encountered. (Even lab orders etc.) You can then go to each and every clinician and subsequently request the medical records on file for the encounter and child in question. You will know the exact date of the encounter, the doctor's name and full details and specifically the ICD-9 billing code for the encounter.

                    You just need to inform yourself by the way and do the right thing if you really want the information.

                    As well, I would recommend you get the records from TeleHealth Ontario as well.

                    Order in hand you can get each and every medical record.

                    Where this pattern of records retreval doesn't work well is for non-publicly funded alternative health care. For example, if the child has had encounters with other providers (e.g. Reiki "Healer", Chiropractor, etc...) that are not part of the OHIP billing system your luck will be as good as anyone's.

                    You could call the various offices in close proximity to the other parent for a variety of providers but, it is a long process.

                    It is always amazing to see what is recorded in medical records for children...

                    Good Luck!
                    Tayken
                    Thanks as always, this is excellent info. i'll make sure i use this.
                    any other tips on adding reasonable conditions to declaw her before handing over the fight?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      My current order states I have equal right to meet with professionals and obtain information about my daughter. That was not enough to get OHIP to release records.

                      You will need an explicit 'consent to release info' letter from your ex - perhaps embedded in your order - in order to release this info.

                      Federal privacy laws (which do not grant info to NCPs) can be cited to override the Family Law Act. (which grants NCPs access to all info).

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by dinkyface View Post

                        Federal privacy laws (which do not grant info to NCPs) can be cited to override the Family Law Act. (which grants NCPs access to all info).
                        Interesting ... would be interested to see what Tayken, Orleanslawyer or any other knowledgeable member's take on this.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          True. I have that clause in the order, still anybody I meet needs to contact my ex and has to get her explicit permission before they can talk to me, and it is case by case, so d10's psychologist has to get ex's permission every time I want to talk to her. Even if I can get some information, I get it too late, e.g. well after the assessment has already been completed and I have 0 input.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I can only imagine the difficulty that a ncp could face getting information from a health care professional. I only say this because as a parent with sole custody I have had some difficulty getting reports from some specialists who have provided care for my kids. It is really not standardized at all which is unfortunate. Parents should have access to such things, custodial or not in my opinion.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              to the OP:

                              You don't de-tooth sole custody. If you want to avoid stupid issues, you merely offer JOINT LEGAL, with the mother being designated as the "primary residence" for the purposes of school determination.

                              Whether you want to roll over and also give her final say on the major decisions that go with Joint Legal (Health, Education, Religion) is your decision based on what you are most comfortable with.

                              JOINT LEGAL will nullify any push back from the various organizations.

                              Comment

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