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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 03-06-2018, 10:43 PM
Where is the Light Where is the Light is offline
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Default Child from spouse to Childrens Aid

Hi all,

I don't know exactly that I am posting in the right forum category, so please forgive me if I am wrong.

To keep this short, back in November 2016 my teens decided they did not want to live with me and my simple rules. They were going off to live with their dad who had very few rules. Dad has lots of money and allows for lots of freedom and little parenting. Well, in the 13 months our teens lived with them they got into a lot of trouble, mainly with DRUGS. Bad and scary drugs. Teens were dropped off at my home when he couldn't cope with them anymore.

In the couple weeks I had them returned to me, I discovered the scariness of the drugs my teens were one; ONE teen in particular. I have had to call abundance out of fear of OD'ing on coke and Xanax. I then fought with the hospital to keep him while I tried to find a facility for him to go to. Found and he agreed to go. Stayed only 16 days. Returned to me, only a few days passed and on different drugs (anything to get high), i.e .liquid codeine, robuttusin pills etc. He has broken in my house when I am not home, stole me car at 14, had parties unknown to me, and the list goes on.

Sorry, I am making this longer than planned. When my 14 year old refused to go back into a drug rehab because the ridiculous laws of Ontario give a 12 year old the right to decline help, I handed my teen over to the childrens aide. It happened so quickly with there ever changing plans for my teen having my head spinning with stress. So many promises to get help. I was never even explained the process really, not until I received court papers after the fact.

Don't get me wrong, my teen needs help, both for drugs and mental health wise and my teen has not been cooperating or helping self. Now I have additional problems. I am arguing with CAS about so many things, how things happened, the process and lack of info shared.

I am expected so submit all these papers to court. OMG, I am overwhelmed. 30 days to do all this paperwork when I don't even know what I am doing and haven't the money to hire a lawyer. I am not entitled to legal aide. Does anyone else have experience with these people/CAS? A nightmare!!! Am I expected to bring a lawyer into court with me at our 1st hearing? They currently have temp custody of teen. Does anyone know if a paralegal can do my paperwork for cheaper? I am stressed.

Thank you.
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  #2  
Old 03-07-2018, 12:19 AM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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I have had CAS involvement for over a year now, soon to be over when I get a court order. It's best to cooperate with them imo. Their last solution is removing the child, and I hear its a costly nightmare to get them back.

Your ex must have agreed to this, as they would have approached him to take the child, then proceed to next of kin (a relative).

I read your panic, but maybe its for the best; your ex couldnt help, you couldnt help, its hard to deal with mental illness and a drug addiction on your own. Could this be your last straw with getting help for your son? Dont beat yourself up for trying to get help for your child, even if its a CAS placement. They may have more resources than you are thinking right now. You need something more long term than 16 days in rehap.

As much as I found CAS to be a pain in my behind, and intrusive, I must admit they have been very helpful with resources I didnt know existed and helpful with current court proceedings. Did they not explain a plan to you? Or give you a worst case scenario that they would remove the child?

What city are you in? I can recommend some hospitals and a lawyer that maybe able to help.
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Old 03-07-2018, 07:09 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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CAS will send him to rehab. It wont be a nice rehab facility but it will still be rehab.

Youíve posted a great deal about your helplessness over the behaviour but nothing changes with these kids. Now CAS is stepping in to help. Why are you fighting it? Your kid needs help and your help isnt working. Either keep him with all his issues or let the agency try to help. Your son is an addict.
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Old 03-08-2018, 10:21 AM
Where is the Light Where is the Light is offline
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Kate331 and Rockscan,

Thank you for your reply. Can the court order a child in to a rehab? My child agreed to go into the first one, law says they have to give consent after age 12. If a court could order him into one, that would be GREAT! I don't really think a group home is helping him. The worker has messed up a lot and done a lot of lying, this upsets me greatly!

I can't afford a lawyer, but who can I pay to type up court papers ie typed up info I am expected to submit such as income, an affidavit etc? Does anyone even know if these documents are online somewhere?

Tims is of the essence.

Thank you and GOD BLESS.
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Old 03-08-2018, 11:40 AM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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I dont think you can force a child that age into rehab. I would go down to your local courthouse and see if a clerk or duty counsel could help you with which documents are required. Do you not qualify for Legal-aid?
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Old 03-08-2018, 12:57 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Instead of freaking out, why not speak with childrens aid about next steps. You could also look through their website and see what is the process.

They are making your son their ward. Why? Because neither you or your ex can manage him. Being a ward of CAS can be good and bad. They will put him into a program, as a ward under their care they can force him to go. Until he turns 18 he will be subject to their care and decisions. This includes mandatory programs for illegal behaviour and drug/alcohol abuse.

My bigger question is about you. You have shown in your posts that you are unable to manage his behaviours and needs. You were a main player in his downfall and handed him over to his father when you couldnít handle him anymore. Now you are fighting to keep a child who you have stated you have difficulty caring for. What is the problem with CAS stepping in to manage his needs? You arenít doing it.

Call CAS and discuss what the options and next steps are. If the worker isnít helpful ask for their supervisor/manager. And get some help for yourself. Many of us have been telling you that for a couple of years now and it seems like you are still chasing your tail. You cant help your children if you arenít helping yourself.
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Old 03-08-2018, 01:26 PM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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I just reread her post, she handed him over to CAS, and now wants him back? Or do you just need help filling out forms for them to keep him legally. Now I am confused.
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Old 03-08-2018, 02:39 PM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Where is the Light View Post
... When my 14 year old refused to go back into a drug rehab because the ridiculous laws of Ontario give a 12 year old the right to decline help, I handed my teen over to the childrens aid.
That is incorrect. There is no stated age of consent for medical treatment in Ontario.

Please see Policy Number:#3-15 from the College of Physicians and Surgeons under the section Capacity and then Minors:

Quote:
The test of capacity to consent to a treatment is not age-dependent and as such, physicians must make a determination of capacity to consent to a treatment for a minor just as they would for an adult. If a minor is capable with respect to a treatment, the physician must obtain consent from the minor directly even if the minor is accompanied by his or her parent(s) or guardian(s).
There is no stated age. So, if a clinician has deemed that your child can consent to or refuse treatment then, rest assured the child has the capacity to do so.

It isn't a problem with the *law* in any jurisdiction. You have a child who has the capacity to determine their own course of medical treatment for which rehabilitation services is. That's the problem. Not age. You don't get to dictate over children because you are a "parent".

This change was done to avoid the 1980s issues of parents throwing their children into institutes because they "couldn't handle them" and when the child only wanted a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and their parents wouldn't give it to them. Parents in the 80s stuck their children into an institution, said it was the only solution, to give the children the needed professional help to protect them from the only perceived enemy, themselves. Which was complete BS in the 80s. (Some ST applied. Thanks Cyco Mike for the life lessons!)

In fact, it protects children from being tossed into other BS therapy like "conversion therapy", so they can get life-saving medical treatments banned by lunatic religious beliefs of their parents (i.e. Christian Scientists) and to protect children from parents with Factitious Disorders by Proxy who were harming their children by making them seriously sick and provide children the ability to "clean out their closet".

So, as frustrating as this may be for you. You have NO RIGHT to force a child, who has been deemed to have the capacity to make their own medical decisions, into treatment.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Where is the Light View Post
I am expected so submit all these papers to court. OMG, I am overwhelmed. 30 days to do all this paperwork when I don't even know what I am doing and haven't the money to hire a lawyer.
https://shawyerlaw.ca/wp-content/upl...ing-an-APC.pdf

I suspect you are required to draft an APC. ("Answer
and Plan of Care")

Everything you have disclosed in the statement above sounds like you are required to complete an APC. 30 days notice, papers to court, etc... See the link I supplied. It is quite good at explaining how to complete the APC.

Note to readers: I suspect this parent is having the child taken into protective custody from them under the Family Services Act. ("in need of protection")

Quote:
Originally Posted by Where is the Light View Post
Does anyone else have experience with these people/CAS? A nightmare!!!
The best advice I can give anyone... Don't get them involved ever in your private family matters. But, it is too late for that now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Where is the Light View Post
Am I expected to bring a lawyer into court with me at our 1st hearing?
No. You can be unrepresented. But, this is complex stuff so you are advised to retain a lawyer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Where is the Light View Post
They currently have temp custody of teen. Does anyone know if a paralegal can do my paperwork for cheaper? I am stressed.
When did the apprehension of the child? They only have a few weeks to get into the court to make the application and for a first appearance. You will be expected to file an APC.

Based on your past messages, maybe it is best the child is taken into CAS care. I hate to say it but, you are very anxious person and are in my humble personal opinion in need of a lot of support. So there is no doubt in my mind that the child needs help too.

CAS being involved isn't a bad thing sometimes. Especially when parents can't cope with the situation. They are there to aid parents and children. They are possibly concerned that you do not have the tool to assist the child. If they do wouldn't it be the best thing to let the child get help?
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