I don't even know where I should post this, where to vent.
First my children a year ago decide they don't want to live with me after 13 and 16 years. They don't want to obide by simple rules. I thought I would die of a broken heart when they went to live with their dad. I became a very sick mess.
Teens, although living a 10 minute walk from me (with their dad), rarely came to visit or even return my calls/text messages. All I ever heard was, busy with my friends, sleeping at my friends. Sorry, let me back track - I would hear from them when they wanted money or drives.
I started to hear ALOT of bad stories about my kids, the stories got worse. Never at their dads, dad always allowing them to sleep out, boys never home, boys don't have dinner with dad/his wife, etc. Then came the drugs, selling and using. More stories........ cops to ex's house often.
Well, a month ago, I hear a knock at my door and it is my teens. Mom, we have to stay with you for a few days, dad needs a break from us. Well it has now been a month and he has advised he may take the older teen back a couple days a month, but won't allow younger one back to stay with him. Ex has them as residing with him on paper since the change over a year ago. Teens in one month have stolen merchandise in stores (expensive stuff), shot holes in my blinds with a stolen bb gun, holes in my tv and the list goes on. My car was taken in the middle of the night and my 14 year old drove it under the influence. THANK GOD NO ONE WAS HURT! But, I do wish he were caught. He is out of control. He has stolen cash from me, has no respect for my home/property. I am constantly sworn at. Here is the deal, I had the childrens aide to my house because they had been visiting ex and kids at his house. Ex advised them they now live with me, unknown to me. This is when I found out the above (his plans for kids). While in his care for a year, they ran the roads day and night, no rules, no curfews, no having to come home for days. The scary scary drugs the younger one is doing is very alarming i.e. coke, lsd, zanax etc. I have found text messages where it says he is dealing also. He ran out from my house lastnight after 2 a.m and did not return to 8 a.m. I told the childrens aide everything and this is what they advised: You can't order your children into rehab without their consent past age 12. Can you believe this law?!! My teen kids OD on drugs but I can't order him into rehab without his consent. How messed up is this. I also can not order my ex to take them back despite the court docs showing he has residency custody of them. I can't stop my teens if they want to leave the house in the middle of the night. If |I touch teen, I can be charged with assault. What can I do? Call the cops once teen has left the home. They will then look to return after a period of time missing. Then if teen wrecks my home out of anger for being returned , oh well. I can send my teens off to a horrible group home however. This is what |I can do. Yes, a group home where there is more drugs, little supervision, lots of people arriving from jail. What the hell? What is wrong with the system?!
My ex has helped to create monsters. I did not sleep lastnight after teen left. I was an absolute mess thinking what if he od's, what if he gets in anothers car who drinks/does drugs and drives. This is an insane life, a faultered system. Where is the help here?!
Then there is my lovely ex, who once again when the going gets tough, the tough get going.
I am so scared, so angry!
Thoughts..........
First my children a year ago decide they don't want to live with me after 13 and 16 years. They don't want to obide by simple rules. I thought I would die of a broken heart when they went to live with their dad. I became a very sick mess.
Teens, although living a 10 minute walk from me (with their dad), rarely came to visit or even return my calls/text messages. All I ever heard was, busy with my friends, sleeping at my friends. Sorry, let me back track - I would hear from them when they wanted money or drives.
I started to hear ALOT of bad stories about my kids, the stories got worse. Never at their dads, dad always allowing them to sleep out, boys never home, boys don't have dinner with dad/his wife, etc. Then came the drugs, selling and using. More stories........ cops to ex's house often.
Well, a month ago, I hear a knock at my door and it is my teens. Mom, we have to stay with you for a few days, dad needs a break from us. Well it has now been a month and he has advised he may take the older teen back a couple days a month, but won't allow younger one back to stay with him. Ex has them as residing with him on paper since the change over a year ago. Teens in one month have stolen merchandise in stores (expensive stuff), shot holes in my blinds with a stolen bb gun, holes in my tv and the list goes on. My car was taken in the middle of the night and my 14 year old drove it under the influence. THANK GOD NO ONE WAS HURT! But, I do wish he were caught. He is out of control. He has stolen cash from me, has no respect for my home/property. I am constantly sworn at. Here is the deal, I had the childrens aide to my house because they had been visiting ex and kids at his house. Ex advised them they now live with me, unknown to me. This is when I found out the above (his plans for kids). While in his care for a year, they ran the roads day and night, no rules, no curfews, no having to come home for days. The scary scary drugs the younger one is doing is very alarming i.e. coke, lsd, zanax etc. I have found text messages where it says he is dealing also. He ran out from my house lastnight after 2 a.m and did not return to 8 a.m. I told the childrens aide everything and this is what they advised: You can't order your children into rehab without their consent past age 12. Can you believe this law?!! My teen kids OD on drugs but I can't order him into rehab without his consent. How messed up is this. I also can not order my ex to take them back despite the court docs showing he has residency custody of them. I can't stop my teens if they want to leave the house in the middle of the night. If |I touch teen, I can be charged with assault. What can I do? Call the cops once teen has left the home. They will then look to return after a period of time missing. Then if teen wrecks my home out of anger for being returned , oh well. I can send my teens off to a horrible group home however. This is what |I can do. Yes, a group home where there is more drugs, little supervision, lots of people arriving from jail. What the hell? What is wrong with the system?!
My ex has helped to create monsters. I did not sleep lastnight after teen left. I was an absolute mess thinking what if he od's, what if he gets in anothers car who drinks/does drugs and drives. This is an insane life, a faultered system. Where is the help here?!
Then there is my lovely ex, who once again when the going gets tough, the tough get going.
I am so scared, so angry!
Thoughts..........
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