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  • Need some advices. (CAS involved)

    I immigrated from China and came to Ottawa in 2017. Separated at Jan. 2018. 9 years marriage with 2 kids.

    Here is what happend.

    After we moved to Ottawa, My ex called 4 times CAS. Every time the CAS closed the file after investigation, nothing is verified.
    in June 2018. we had an argument, nothing happened, then she called 911, she said she was scaled, and I slapped her. The police came, then left without doing anything. But I was scaled at that time, After I talked to a family counselor, decided to move out.

    After I moved out, I rented 2 small rooms shared with 2 other rommates in a big house. There still some argument but we eventually reached out the following temporary parenting schedule.
    1st week, Tuesday 5:30 PM to 7:30 AM, Thursday 5:30 PM to 7:30 PM
    2nd week, Tuesday 5:30 PM to 7:30 AM, Friday 5:30 PM to Sunday 7:30 PM

    Then I hired a lawyer, started the divorcing process. My first lawyer was a male, did not believe what I said, no progress until I changed to a 2nd female lawyer. She was pregnant and would deliver soon, I don't think she believed me but I don't have other choices, I contacted several lawyers, but they all were mean to me once they heard my ex called CAS and 911.

    Luckily she is a very good lawyer, she added all my story in her brief, represented me in the 1st case conference in 2019 June. The judge suggested getting all records from CAS and police and hire a custody assessor to do the custody assessment.

    The records are very good to me, CAS and Police records clearly indicate that she can not give the details about her allegations and nothing is verified. the kids are happy with me. Basically verified what I said.

    But the custody assessment ruled in her favor. and suggested an arrangement as below:
    1st week, Tuesday 5:30 PM to Wednesday 8:30 AM, Thursday 5:30 PM to 7:30 PM
    2nd week, Tuesday 5:30 PM to Wednesday 8:30 AM, Friday 5:30 PM to Sunday 7:30PM


    I got almost 40%, I want 50% (I has been keeping paying the child support after I moved out and hired my 1st lawyer)

    Then my 2nd lawyer left for delivering her baby. I was transferred to my 3rd lawyer.
    My 3rd lawyer represented me for the 2nd case conference. I provided some evidence about my ex lied to the assessor. but it did not change too much.
    I did not agree with her offer. so still went with the old parenting schedule

    then 2020, COVID-19. nothing happened. But my 3rd lawyer charged me a lot for the documents job.... ..., I can not afford that, so I switch to my 4th lawyer also my current lawyer.

    He suggested me to settle everything. and I agreed. he moved very fast, and we are very close to reaching an agreement. But soon my ex starts to living together with another man, in our MH with my kids. and keep ghosting us about the negotiation.

    I was totally pissed off and want to get the kids back, at least 50%. and I told my lawyer that my ex signed a false affidavit related to her income.
    My lawyer did not agree with me at the beginning, but one day he suddenly said that I can possibly get 50%. Not sure what happened.

    Then the 3rd conference Jan. 2021. The judge suggested a new parenting schedule. and schedule a new settlement conference in August, and trial my case for Sep. 2021,
    1st week, Wednesday 5:00 PM to Thursday 8:30 AM
    2nd week, Wednesday 5:00 PM to Thursday 8:30 AM, Friday 5:30 PM to Monday 8:30 AM

    I am starting with this schedule now.

    I know there is a maximum contact principle, but I also know about the status quo. Though my lawyer told me there could be 40% chance for me to get 40% or more.

    I am curious anyone else has been in the same situation? What do I need to prepare now for the trial?

    Thanks

  • #2
    Originally posted by fulian555 View Post
    1st week, Tuesday 5:30 PM to 7:30 AM, Thursday 5:30 PM to 7:30 PM
    2nd week, Tuesday 5:30 PM to 7:30 AM, Friday 5:30 PM to Sunday 7:30 PM
    Why does your parenting time always start so late in the day?


    But the custody assessment ruled in her favor. and suggested an arrangement as below:
    1st week, Tuesday 5:30 PM to Wednesday 8:30 AM, Thursday 5:30 PM to 7:30 PM
    2nd week, Tuesday 5:30 PM to Wednesday 8:30 AM, Friday 5:30 PM to Sunday 7:30PM
    Same nonsense.

    I got almost 40%, I want 50%
    In your original schedule, you have them for 92 hours every two weeks. That represents 27.4%.

    The custody assessment gives you 94 hours, which is about 28.0%.

    Neither schedule gets you anywhere close to the 40% that you think you have.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Janus View Post
      Why does your parenting time always start so late in the day?




      Same nonsense.



      In your original schedule, you have them for 92 hours every two weeks. That represents 27.4%.

      The custody assessment gives you 94 hours, which is about 28.0%.

      Neither schedule gets you anywhere close to the 40% that you think you have.
      In my understanding, it counts overnight as one day, not in hours. as far as I was told.

      So I got 5 overnights per 2 weeks which is 5/14 = 35%, one more day will reach 40%.

      Wrong?

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by fulian555 View Post
        In my understanding, it counts overnight as one day, not in hours. as far as I was told.
        The real answer is that there is no official way of counting time. Each judge decides for themself.

        That said, if your schedule was something along the lines "father gets Tuesday and Thursday one week, and then Tu/Fri/Sat the next week" it lends itself more to an overnight comparison. However, since you have these weird times included, I think a judge would likely count the hours.

        By hours, you are not even close to 40%. You are a clear non-custodial parent.

        Note that at 40% you would still probably have to pay child support, so if that is the reason you are pushing this you are mostly wasting your time.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Janus View Post
          The real answer is that there is no official way of counting time. Each judge decides for themself.

          That said, if your schedule was something along the lines "father gets Tuesday and Thursday one week, and then Tu/Fri/Sat the next week" it lends itself more to an overnight comparison. However, since you have these weird times included, I think a judge would likely count the hours.

          By hours, you are not even close to 40%. You are a clear non-custodial parent.

          Note that at 40% you would still probably have to pay child support, so if that is the reason you are pushing this you are mostly wasting your time.
          I also don't know where this wired time comes from. It is all suggested by the lawyers, mediators, assessors.

          This is exactly what I am worried about and why I am here, My lawyer keeps encouraging me to continue fighting for 40%, I am very concerned about this. So I believe my best option is to have everything settled ASAP?

          Comment


          • #6
            It is the hours that count...judges can do what they like but rule of thumb is the hours.

            My question is similar.
            Your day starts at 5:30pm but your ex starts at 8:30am?
            That makes no good sense especially if they are at school and you simply have to be available. I also don't understand why the nights keep changing.

            Lying doesn't matter much and I don't know what they lied about or why the assessment went the way it did.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by dealingWithEvil View Post
              It is the hours that count...judges can do what they like but rule of thumb is the hours.

              My question is similar.
              Your day starts at 5:30 pm but your ex starts at 8:30am?
              That makes no good sense especially if they are at school and you simply have to be available. I also don't understand why the nights keep changing.

              Lying doesn't matter much and I don't know what they lied about or why the assessment went the way it did.
              My Ex stars from 8:30 AM , I don't know.
              But my time starts from 5:30PM is originally my Ex's offer, after I moved out, I tried to pick up the kids from the daycare and school, she directly called the teacher and said I physically hurt her, the teacher treat me like I am a criminal though eventually, she said it is up to me if I insist to pick the kids, but I gave up to avoid making a scene there. I also tried to keep the kids overnight without her consent, she threatened me she will call 911. My first lawyer did not believe anything I told him, I got no support at that time. so we come up with this schedule.

              about the assessment, we have got the CAS and police reports at that time, I and my lawyer both were confident about the result, but she made several new allegations, cheating, I love my son more than my daughter, I refuse to communicate with her, I don't like celebrating Birthday, and she said she actually does not want to divorce but she has no choice.

              the social worker put all allegations on her report, and she repeated her allegations about CAS and 911 on her report without my response and investigation result from CAS and police.

              I did make a mistake in the interview with the social worker, she asked me what I feel when my ex called CAS and 911, I said I feel I was stabbed in my back. she emphasized that in her report and added more "I would never ever forgive". I did not say that, though I would admit that might be true at that time.

              I only am able to provide evidence about "refused to communicate with her". But how can I prove I did not cheat. I love both kids the same. she also did not provide any evidence.

              Comment


              • #8
                Sorry to hear about your ideal.

                1. If you don't try for 50/50, you may regret it for a very long time.

                2. You can bring a motion BEFORE your trial to try and increase your access time. Is there a reason you haven't yet?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Also go to Canlii.org and search for "Custody and equal shared parenting" to see how judges make decisions. It will help you get inside the judges head.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by helenj View Post
                    Sorry to hear about your ideal.

                    1. If you don't try for 50/50, you may regret it for a very long time.

                    2. You can bring a motion BEFORE your trial to try and increase your access time. Is there a reason you haven't yet?
                    Thanks a lot for your advice.

                    It might because of culture or language, or the way I deal with the lawyer. I have a sense that though literally, I have the same right as my ex, I better not use it because I have to be "reasonable" first, but my ex can be as aggressive as she wants because it is her right.

                    for example, the assessor increased my time, (not as much as I expected though), and suggested following the new schedule start from Dec. 2019. But My previous lawyer said without a settlement of all issues, I SHOULD not pick up the kids from school without my ex's consent.

                    Until the recent Settlement conference, the Judge said we should not waste time, and agreed to increase my access time. then her lawyer provides this offer with every other weekend overnight and everything Wednesday. and as far as I was told, I don't really have a choice other than accept this offer to increase my time.

                    Comment

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