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Ex Refusing To Pay Post-Secondary Tuition Costs

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  • #16
    JCL - From information you have provided so far it seems that you and your ex had an agreement, which he followed, for son's tuition/costs to be shared 1/3. Your minutes of settlement, however, state you are to pay 50% of costs. How did the minutes of settlement not reflect your agreement?

    I gather that someone is changing their mind (either your ex or you).

    Keep in mind that MEP will enforce current court Order.

    For those not familiar with Farden v. Farden - the following is cut-and-paste list of criteria:

    (1) whether the child is in fact enrolled in a course of studies and whether it is a full-time or part-time course of studies;

    (2) whether or not the child has applied for or is eligible for student loans or other financial assistance;

    (3) the career plans of the child, i.e. whether the child has some reasonable and appropriate plan or is simply going to college because there is nothing better to do;

    (4) the ability of the child to contribute to his own support through part-time employment;

    (5) the age of the child;

    (6) the child's past academic performance, whether the child is demonstrating success in the chosen course of studies;

    (7) what plans the parents made for the education of their children, particularly where those plans were made during cohabitation;

    (8) at least in the case of a mature child who has reached the age of majority, whether or not the child has unilaterally terminated a relationship from the parent from whom support is sought.

    I would think that item #7 would be particularly pertinent in your situation. Is your son estrange from his father? #8 seems to be a pretty big deal in the recent decisions that I have come across.
    Last edited by arabian; 04-06-2015, 01:19 PM.

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    • #17
      They aren't estranged, but certainly aren't close and really never have been. Ex was quite emotionally/physically absent during the kids' childhood. We separated briefly when the kids started school ( affair with co-worker) and then he asked to come back and was in the home for another 12 years or so (another affair with a different co-worker). Son has been away for 4 years (Prep School out of province and 2 years of US college) so their relationship primarily is via text message. They saw each other once last summer (4 months) though we live 30 minutes apart. Ex will watch his games online and then text him about the game; son will respond. Ex has commented to me that he feels that son "doesn't want much to do with him" but IMO it's more due to how busy our son is and that the nature and quality of their relationship while he was growing up has just continued This relative "lack of connection" IMO is more just a continuation of how their relationship always was; it's just more pronounced due to the distance. So, not "estranged" but just not very close. Going back on agreed-upon tuition payment certainly hasn't helped the relationship.

      Daughter who lives locally and attends University is estranged from him; was here to experience the relative quality of their relationship and has opted out, at least for now. Neither child has been told about their dad's indiscretions, as I've never believed this was information they needed to know. So the quality of these relationships is solely based on their history. She is also hurt that her brother is being negatively affected with this tuition non-payment.

      When I read the Farden points, it seems like our son meets all points. Ex is saying, in addition to wanting the tuitions to be "equal" for both kids, that he never really wanted our son to attend this college, but felt "pressured" to. Again, I have emails with us discussing the plans, him initiating emails to the school during the application stage, email stating what he will pay, and he went and watched a game last year in the US. Ugh....

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      • #18
        I'm curious. Does your ex have a university/college education?

        Your ex has likely already read up on, or has been filled in by his lawyer, the ways he can TRY to reduce child support. The fact that your son and ex do remain in contact, albeit by text and not often, still shows that a relationship exists.

        Your ex sounds like a real caring piece of work.
        I'm happy for you that you got out of that relationship. You must be very proud of your children. It sounds as though your kids are doing well and thriving. Good for you for going after everything your children are entitled to, particularly with regards to their post-secondary education.

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        • #19
          Ironically, he is a teacher so one would assume a caring nature and a true interest in kids, especially his own? He actually teaches in an institutional setting, where kids are there for only about 3 weeks, then he writes a report, and then they are discharged and new kids come in. No real relationships are formed, anda no interest in advancing past that job.
          Yes, I am proud and happy that my kids value education and have high standards for themselves. Both are respectful, moral, hard-working people and I feel very fortunate to be their mom. Makes it somewhat harder to intellectualize sometimes...that someone was so willing to miss out on how great they are.
          Will spend this next week getting organized for the lawyer I guess.

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          • #20
            Interestingly, in cases such as yours, the fact that one or both parents have university degrees is also taken into consideration. It is generally felt that parents who have university degrees want the same for their children. There is case law regarding this and if I find any I will post it.

            I suspect that your ex has simply reneged on your agreement regarding post-secondary education for your children. Judge will not be impressed. One would think that this would be a relatively simply matter in court. I can't see a judge agreeing to yank a kid out of studies, particularly when the child is doing well academically. On the other hand, if there is no money then there is no money. The onus would therefore be on your ex to prove that he has a material change of circumstances ie. reduced income.

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            • #21
              How did you guys apply the scholarship funds? For kids portion?

              I went back an reread your first post. In light of all the case law and the arguments the bottom line is he agreed to pay the fees. Not having the money isnt an excuse. He knew he was responsible for the cost and a one time bill to CRA isnt going to be his get out of jail card. Keep all these other arguments in your pocket but the bottom line is theres an order for the cost. Definitely file with MEP and then he can deal with paying it.

              The other stuff people have posted would have been to defend why he should not have to pay BEFORE you decided on the split.

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              • #22
                We actually applied the scholarship funds to the overall total cost, and then split it into thirds.
                Yes, in my opinion he is responsible for his share and has made an incredibly arbitrary decision to simply quit paying. I am concerned that a judge may feel that the cost is prohibitive, given the poor Canadian Dollar. It's scary to place your child's educational future into the hands of a judge, but it appears to be my only option.
                I'm not really clear on the process, so if somebody would like to educate me, please feel free...even though I have a Divorce Judgement and the Minutes of Settlement, I have to complete an affidavit explaining the history of how our son ended up at the school, how we agreed to pay, etc.? Then I go to court and hopefully get a court order to get the funds reimbursed to me? Does Maintenance Enforcement enforce the court order and attempt to get the funds from him? Do I have that right?

                Thanks!

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                • #23
                  Have you spoken to anyone at MEP yet? If you have an order outlining costs then speak to them first. If it works similar to FRO in Ontario you would take the order and all your receipts and submit a statement of arrears for his portion. Then he has to pay them.

                  Not sure how MEP works, best to speak to them first. They will be able to help you with next steps.

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                  • #24
                    MEP will enforce the court order if you have the enforcement clause in your Order:

                    "The amounts owing under this Order shall be paid to the Director of Maintenance Enforcement ("MEP") at 7th Floor North, 10365 - 97th Street, Edmonton, Alberta, T5J 3W7, (780) 422-5555 (website address: Maintenance Enforcement Program - Alberta Justice) and shall be enforced by MEP upon the creditor (recipient) or debtor (payor) registering with MEP. Such enforcement shall continue until the party who registered gives MEP a notice in writing withdrawing the registration pursuant to Section 9 of the Maintenance Enforcement Act."

                    If you already don't have one, make sure you have a clause in your Order to exchange financials every year by a specific date. If you need further information feel free to PM me.

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