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  • Hello and help

    My husband and I got married in April of 1995 and after finishing my Masters Degree I moved with my son to Canada from the United States in August of 1995 thinking that the immigration documents had been submitted and that all we had to do was to go get the proper documents for the process to be complete. For someone just finishing her Masters Degree I was pretty dumb. Nothing had been submitted so they gave my son a school permit (he was in the 4th grade) and I could not get a work permit. Anyway, to make a long story short I am not 51 and my son is now 30 and I am going through a divorce in Canada. I need to find an attorney that is reasonable (LOL). I thought we had an agreed on settlement but due to misunderstanding my husbands instructions regarding transfer of property documents and getting them to him with a time frame of less than 24 hours he retracted it and has retained an attorney to file divorce proceedings. I have given up my career for his and he never did sponsor me for immigration. I work three jobs now just to try to make ends meet. We lived in the Hamilton area. Please advise regarding attorneys and give me an idea of the cost. Thank you!! I am extremely shocked that it is coming to this but another woman is involved so I need to put closure to this whole mess (as if I have a choice at this point)!! Please help me!

  • #2
    Where do you leave now/ What is your status in Canada?

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    • #3
      Residing in the United States

      I live in the United States now but have ownership in the house in Ontario. I would be considered a visitor to Canada as I have no immigration status in Canada due to the fact that my spouse never sponsored me in Canada. I have been going back and forth for the duration of the marriage.

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      • #4
        Just fyi:

        Here in Canada, it's called "Grade Four", not "Fourth Grade".

        Ask anyone.

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        • #5
          Thanks for the reminder...it's been awhile since he was in grade 4.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by wretchedotis View Post
            Just fyi:

            Here in Canada, it's called "Grade Four", not "Fourth Grade".

            Ask anyone.
            FYI - it's commonly referred to as the "fourth grade" in Canada as well. We got your point.

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            • #7
              I grew up in south central Ontario - end of the baby boomers (bad time to be born - but not exactly a planned thing - especially on my part ; ).

              We used grade 4 or fourth grade interchangably - grade X being the more common choice - especially in the higher grades such as grade 9 and beyond.

              I have some family connections to the USA - actually attended school there for awhile. I was wondering about the objection to fourth grade.

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              • #8
                I am almost as lost as you in dealing with legal stuff. However, here are some general insights:

                -the going rate is rarely less than $250 per hour - typically $350 I guess or higher
                -it is best to have a lawyer who practises family law exclusively
                -it might be cheaper to have a lawyer who has at least a secretary to field simple questions about appointments, etc.
                -read the forum, CANLII (google it) using search terms relevant to your situation
                -get a copy of "Surviving Your Divorce" by Michael G. Cochrane from your library or buy it
                -comb these resources for information, keep track of info gleaned, questions along the way using a system that will work for you indefinitely
                -pay close attention to records that document your case - i.e. stuff that would be significant to the court eventually along with what you might need to reference to put something into a meaningful context
                -google Justice Net and contact them... they set me up with a young lawyer who was willing to take my case for less than the going rate... unfortunately she was an hour away (sometimes I wish I had used her services instead of the "experienced" lawyer I am semi-stuck with currently)
                -consider self-representation... using whatever resources are available to you... starting with a visit to your local courthouse (family law) - there must be a FLIC near you

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                • #9
                  Oh and don't think "closure"... if you experience this one day - hurray!

                  Meanwhile, you might think... how do I get emotional support, some clarity, some emotional strength? Think containment... when it comes to interacting with your ex. If your child or children are adults... one day your interaction with this person really can be almost zilch.

                  I have lost a few people... due to death... and know in these cases there will never be closure. With my stbx I am just trying to minimize his impact on my life, not engaging emotionally, etc. It's a transition in progress.

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                  • #10
                    Thank you for the information...it was very helpful. I was afraid that the only advice I was going to get was about "Grade 4"! LOL Really divorce is very ugly and I am barely coping with all the emotions involved. The support offered here is truly appreciated!

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                    • #11
                      I don't see the diff between Grade four, or fourth grade.

                      Are you seeking a lawyer in the Hamilton area, where you once resided? I know of an excellent one in Burlington, just east of Hamilton. She's $400-450/hr and would likely want a 10k retainer but she kicks ass and has a formidable, takes no prisoners reputation. Private msg me if you'd like her info. I wish I'd used her. I was intimidated by her fees (was new in the game). Now I realize if I'd used her from the get-go, I would have saved both time and money. I made a big mistake not retaining her.

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                      • #12
                        Including Kindergarten, wouldn't grade 4 be the 5th year in school though?? :P

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                        • #13
                          Not if you skipped one of the grades before grade 4. ; )

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by sjandme View Post
                            Not if you skipped one of the grades before grade 4. ; )

                            lol...how do you skip a grade at the beginning like that?? the 1st...what??...6 years are the building blocks, no??

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                            • #15
                              I think it's uncommon now in Canada... unless you are a true genius and maybe homeschooled anyway until you can attend medical school when you're 12 or so.

                              In any case, it is a drawback to be one year younger than the majority once you get to high school - you know physical maturation and all that. ; )

                              It probably was a dumb idea. I've met others who had the same experience - sometimes skipping two grades. Maybe it was a baby boom thing?

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