Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Financial Issues

Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #11  
Old 03-24-2022, 11:43 AM
pinkHouses pinkHouses is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 579
pinkHouses has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

Keeping your pension and having a house is a win win for you

I don't know your finances so I don't know how much a mid 5 figure payout will impact.

You can to work out some broad strokes with your ex so he wins something too.
Option pay the pension money out over time:
-can hurt you qualifying for a mortgage, you are a penny pincher so while you know you can make those numbers the bank doesn't care.
-can benefit you because you keep your pension
-may be tax deductible.

He doesn't get that lump sum but he gains access to money now and it is steady. Make sure there is a release.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 03-24-2022, 12:30 PM
LMum LMum is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2021
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 52
LMum is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkHouses View Post
Keeping your pension and having a house is a win win for you

I don't know your finances so I don't know how much a mid 5 figure payout will impact.

You can to work out some broad strokes with your ex so he wins something too.
Option pay the pension money out over time:
-can hurt you qualifying for a mortgage, you are a penny pincher so while you know you can make those numbers the bank doesn't care.
-can benefit you because you keep your pension
-may be tax deductible.

He doesn't get that lump sum but he gains access to money now and it is steady. Make sure there is a release.
The pension is gonna get split. As shitty as it is I've come to terms with it. Its just hard to pay a man in any manner (cash or pension) who abused me for years. Especially since my hard earned cash will be spent on nonsense in 3 months. I got abuse and he get rewards. All cause I was the higher earner.

The system is there for a reason I get, but times like this its unfair. I wish there was a way to give a victim impact statement.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 03-24-2022, 12:58 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 705
Stillbreathing will become famous soon enough
Default

You need to flip the script on your perception. Yes he may have abused you during the marriage but you are in the process of correcting that. Think of your ex as a malignant tumour that you had surgically removed in time. Apparently a few cancerous spots got missed and that’s what you are cleaning up now.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 03-24-2022, 02:05 PM
LMum LMum is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2021
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 52
LMum is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stillbreathing View Post
You need to flip the script on your perception. Yes he may have abused you during the marriage but you are in the process of correcting that. Think of your ex as a malignant tumour that you had surgically removed in time. Apparently a few cancerous spots got missed and that’s what you are cleaning up now.
Wow what a way to put it, and I like that perspective. And once all those missed spots are gone (pay out) I can move on and live my life.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 03-24-2022, 02:36 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,729
rockscan will become famous soon enoughrockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LMum View Post
Wow what a way to put it, and I like that perspective. And once all those missed spots are gone (pay out) I can move on and live my life.

My husband will make a comment sometimes about how much of his life he lost and/or how much money he left on the table. He also complains about the money he has had to spend on lawyers. I remind him he is free of his ex and has a good life. Times were tough and he struggled a lot but at the end of the day he isnt sharing his life with someone who was eagerly anticipating his death (family history) and treating him badly in the meantime.

You are free of this person after this. It may hurt a bit but in the end, he is some other idiots problem.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 03-24-2022, 05:32 PM
pinkHouses pinkHouses is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 579
pinkHouses has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

Agree with the above. Many of us were abused by their ex when they were married and after to. Family Court never ends when you have kids.

Yes, the higher wage earner often gets screwed. More so when the ex wasn't working or can't work.

Just work a solution that is good for you as much of a jerk they were before there may be a little bit of human in them that will let you get on well. If there wasn't they wouldn't be making you offers on the money.

Get your future independent plan off to the best start.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 04-25-2022, 02:18 PM
LMum LMum is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2021
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 52
LMum is on a distinguished road
Default

Update...

We went back on an offer with a little less on what he asked for, to avoid SS claim. He said no, so we then agreed to the exact numbers he asked for. They again said no and the pleadings have been amended and filed.

So really he's being unreasonable, I was willing to give him what he asked for. And they filed anyhow. I've told my lawyer that the only way I will pay SS now is if a judge orders it.

We have no idea what he wants. He's asked for something, we agreed and they he said still not enough..

I'm just venting, as I will most likely skip off to court. *sigh*
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 04-25-2022, 02:34 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,729
rockscan will become famous soon enoughrockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

Hes being an idiot. Let him hear it from a judge.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 04-25-2022, 03:01 PM
blinkandimgone's Avatar
blinkandimgone blinkandimgone is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Lucknow
Posts: 5,551
blinkandimgone is a jewel in the roughblinkandimgone is a jewel in the roughblinkandimgone is a jewel in the rough
Default

He has to prove entitlement to spousal support. Keep in mind that SS is not tax deductible if you pay a lump sum.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 04-25-2022, 03:29 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,729
rockscan will become famous soon enoughrockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
He has to prove entitlement to spousal support. Keep in mind that SS is not tax deductible if you pay a lump sum.

I wonder if he realizes that but is now trying to drive up her legal bills as a fuck you.

LMum, tell your lawyer to stand down until your next appearance and not do anything until you hear from a judge. I bet your ex is going to wait to hear from a judge and then accept an offer.

And agree with blinklump sums are not tax deductible. Might as well get the benefit!
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
lawyers prefer over phone verses email tugofwar Divorce & Family Law 7 10-08-2010 12:16 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:09 AM.