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  • Looking for advice

    Hi,

    Last year I brought a motion to change when I found out my oldest child
    who lives with her mother was kicked out of school and did not finish grade 12. During that time I asked my daughter how school was going and tried to have conversations about what her plans were after graduation. not once did she or my ex mention that she was not in school. In September of 2018 she enrolled in a adult alternative education and to date I still do not know what she doing or how far she is in her studies. Both my ex and my daughter refuse to provide me with any documentation. She is 20 years old and tells me she do not have to inform me of such. These children have been alienated from me for years.

    This week I got a date for a trial hearing for April 6 and want to start to put together some documents.

    I have started an affadavit and attached text messages as exhibits of being lied to about my oldest not being in school.

    What I wondering is what else should I include I was thinking the following:
    1. offer to settle
    2. factum
    3. Form 20 request for information

    Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

  • #2
    You are filing to have support stopped. You can provide all of that but the other side needs to prove she is still entitled to support.

    Have they provided proof of enrollment? Transcripts showing completion of a program? Proof of attendance?

    Have you had any conferences? If yes, what has been said?

    If they haven’t provided proof she is in a full time program of study with expected completion dates then you really don’t have to do much more. You can offer support until the end of April this year in case she is in school but nothing more. Shes not entitled to support at 20 and not in school.

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    • #3
      We had a case conference and my ex stated my daughter was having mental health issues and provided a one day psychological over the phone report that the school had set up because my daughter was suicidal ( which I was never told about) That report is 5 years old and I have spent time with my daugher just last year and she is fine. I have asked for documentation and has not been provided anything. Can I request such documentation by form 20 request for information before the trial hearing.

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      • #4
        You can file it but if she refuses to provide it won’t look good on her.

        In your affidavit outline that she hasnt provided any up to date information showing full time enrollment.

        Comment


        • #5
          I am now on the same path with the youngest who just turned 16...just found out that she hasnt been attending school since basically grade 5 now has all sorts of mental health issues. And of course they are because of me. My wife and I were reported to CAS last week because we had a conversation with my youngest that she didnt like and they are trying to say its abuse (i feel confident that it will be closed after we talked to the CAS person and told her what was really going on) I am also asking the judge to have support stopped for the 2 other children once they turn 18 and are no longer in school because if not I will never know if they are even going to school. Do you think this is ok to ask. I have to keep them on my medical insurance and get letters from my insurance that needs to be sent to their dentist and she even refuses to tell me what dentist they see..I have joint custody.

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          • #6
            I am also in a similar position. My ex recently moved 3 hours away with my youngest. My daughter (17) has been having difficulties in school since the house was sold and I've been blamed for everything. She's been alienated from me with many falsehoods and she is not in the mental state to talk about anything with me. I have not received any school documentation, medical, etc... from my ex and I've been overpaying child support for over a year. Every time my ex tried to come after me for more money, I return with the overpaying position and she goes quiet. Now that all the financials have been settled between us, I will be completing my taxes and then formally going to court to change the child support. I was told just prior to my ex moving away with my daughter, that she will be taking a "victory lap" next year as she's not ready for university or college at the moment. My daughter was an honor role student with distinction for the last 3 years (above 90% average) and am under the impression that it's difficult to gain entry for a "victory lap", as school enrollment is so overcrowded these days. Come the fall of this year, my daughter will be 18 and if she's not in full time studies (with proof), I will be seeking to terminate CS. Unfortunately, my rights as a father have been ripped away from me, my daughter see's me as a stranger and our legal system has nothing in place to assist with these matters. The age of my daughter and her current stance regarding her relationship with me allows my rights to be taken away with zero recourse. The only thing I can do now is bide my time, wait and seek the changes necessary to stop the bleeding. I can only pray that I will regain a relationship with my daughter, once the fog clears in her mind. Thankfully, I still have "somewhat" of a relationship with my other daughters whom still live locally, and can only pray that our relationship will strengthen going forward (without their mothers direct intervention). I wish you all the luck in the world.

            Comment


            • #7
              If your kids are under 18 you can get information from the school. Call and speak to the principal and ask for their report cards. If you get grief, go to the superintendent. Once they turn 18 you are out of luck. You can request in your order that your ex provide you with proof of full time enrollment by September 15 and January 15 each year otherwise child support stops. If she doesn’t provide it, you can stop support.

              Victory laps are legit for support. Your ex should provide proof of enrollment from the high school. If you are going to court anyway and it turns out kid is not in school, look to have the overpayment applied to future expenses.

              It doesn’t matter if you are alienated from your kids. You still have to pay. My husband hasn’t seen his youngest in six years and his oldest only talks to him to reprimand him for whatever mom says. He still had to pay for their education costs and for cs when they are at home. Is it fair? Nope but he knows that should they say anything he will point out how much he paid for each kid to get their degrees.

              You have to stop banging your heads against a wall for the unfairness. These are your kids. For stacey, I really pity your kids. They will wake up one day and realize they have wasted their life. Then they will be on their own. Get the process in motion, put checks in to ensure your ex has to provide proof and get through the system with as much sanity as possible.

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              • #8
                Thank you..we are in the exact same situation. They have also thrown a doctor in the mix who wants to blame everything on me, meanwhile I have never been included on any councilling with my daughter and has not been told about any medical treatment given

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                • #9
                  My daugher is 20 and I had asked the school if it was possible that she could attend for the extra year and they verified she could but that would be to easy. my ex will make sure these kids will take years and years just to obtain a high school diploma. I hope that someday they will wake up but mom wont let that happy either because if they moves on in life who will she have to use against me...Its very unfair to the children as I have so much to offer..I have been a member of the canadian military for 23 years and can be such an influence and have many resources to help these children but I am not allowed in. Oh being a military member has played no favors in my case and I was told by a jude back in 2019 that my kids should reside with her because my life was unstable being a member. I only wish that Judge could now look at my kids and see how unstable they have really become with mom being the primary caregiver.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    mt Trial hearing date is April 6. Can I submit things until 7 days before. Everything I submit I have to also serve my ex a copy of right?

                    Comment

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