mom in BC dad in QC

[namrita]

Hi there;

I have 3 kids, girls aged almost 13 and 10, and a boychild 4.5yo. The father has temporary custody (pending final custody orders) on the younger 2 having essentially abducted them back in August/September. I have the eldest in my care right now.

I am looking for people who are wise and able to help with questions at times pertaining to my court battle to get my kids back.

N

[standing on the sidelines]

Hi there;

I have 3 kids, girls aged almost 13 and 10, and a boychild 4.5yo. The father has temporary custody (pending final custody orders) on the younger 2 having essentially abducted them back in August/September. I have the eldest in my care right now.

I am looking for people who are wise and able to help with questions at times pertaining to my court battle to get my kids back.

N

need more info like was there a custody order before, how did the dad abduct the kids. Did one of you move? Are all three kids his or just the youngest two?

[namrita]

need more info like was there a custody order before, how did the dad abduct the kids. Did one of you move? Are all three kids his or just the youngest two?

Oh sorry...

He left in feb 2012. There was no custody order in place. We had been living in BC since 2005 so more than 1/2 their lives, all the 4yo's life.

All 3 kids are his bio kids. Eldest who is 13 went to Europe for aug-sept with my parents thus eliminating most of my babysitters/childcare. I work mostly evenings which means my parents do the lion's share of helping care for my 4yo particularly. Eldest babysits him some too, a "regular shift" but not most of my work days.

Since exH hadn't seen them since feb I very generously but naively :-/ told him he should come get them for aug. I provided him with a permission letter stating they were to be back in BC by 15 sept. exH asked for a permission letter to enrol the 10yo in school there which I said no to but he managed to do anyhow. 4yo who had mostly been cared for by family was put full time in daycare. When eldest returned from Europe I said I would accompany her to QC (she had WANTED to live there with dad this yr & at 13 I think that's old enough to at least have a say & give it a shot) to get the younger 2 back & exH warned me that we shouldn't be shuttling them back & forth before custody is settled. I said in that case the same can be said for the eldest & broke it to her that I really had to keep her here in town to settle this.

We put in a petition for a court order to have the younger 2 returned ASAP but it was declined by the master that day b/c of a last minute nasty affidavit against me by my exH. Basically it boiled down to the master ok'ing them staying with exH pending final custody, thus changing the "status quo" of the kids livong place :-/ based on me being less than a perfect Martha Stewart (as if she and her prison record are with looking up to?) plus the fact that I homeschooled my elder 2 last year (something that is protected by law in BC AND QC!!) and there was "no guarantee I would put the middle child back in pub school if he granted thé court order" despite my eldest already being back in public school (I did it for 1 yr to give them a diff outlook on life & other life experiences).

Meanwhile the reason we didn't ask for an adjournment to properly "reply" to his affidavit was that there is a history of my ex being violent & I am truely worried long term about his capacity to care for 3 kids without flying off the handle. We felt the accusations were blatantly "dissing me" just for the sake of doing so & that any sane juge would see through that. What happened was exH flung mud & it studk in the master's vision...and he was probably something of a 1950's "women stay home & do housework" kind of judge.

Judge said we should exchange kids over Xmas & that exH should pay for the trips given he chose to move but did not make it into a court order. We tried to negotiate it thru our lawyers but that is time consuming (sometimes 2 wks to get a reply back). ExH first claimed that he couldn't pay for it all, then when I offered to pay 50% he then requested we split them 50-50 with all 3 ending Xmas in QC. I have so little faith in the legal system now that I suspect if he tried to keep my eldest after Xmas based on some other accusation that it would be bought hook line & sinker too. :'(

I seriously hope we can work out an access visitation in Jan for a month at least for the 4yo who should not be held up by school like his sisters. And we are appealing...

[namrita]

**bumping up in case it gets lost**