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  • #16
    Originally posted by trueblue22 View Post
    I am fighting to make sure my kids and I will continue to have a good life and standard of living after everything is finalized. I know I won't be able to afford to give the kids the same opportunity and experiences my ex will be able to provide but I'm going to try my hardest to get every penny I deserve to make sure we are on as even ground as possible. They already tell me about the nice things they have at their father's house when I ask them what they do with him.

    Your ex will be paying off set and spousal for a period of time. How is this not a good life? The problem is you are jealous of his income and what he has available to spend which is fueling this “what I deserve” bs. Your ex deserves to cut his financial ties to you and to stop supporting your poor financial decisions.


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    • #17
      I'm going through the same.... you most likely owe rent. You can't deny him access to the property he owns

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      • #18
        Naturally your ex will be able to provide better for your children he is employed. I think to ensure you can do same you should focus on getting a job. It's the single best way to be able to provide for kids after divorce. Dont bank on what you are going to get out of a settlement. Lawyers will take from your equity. Only lawyers will gain financially from a divorce. You need to find employment.

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        • #19
          In addition to the massive expense of dragging this out you are also depriving him of his equity and the ability to build equity and profit from this low interest rate environment.

          There is good news, the real estate market is super hot right now. I think your best move by far would be to sell the house, right now, and come to an agreement. I suggest offering table child support and net everything else out to a lump sum. The house sale can provide the cash for the payout to you. You will both end up with tens of thousands (maybe hundreds of thousands) more in your pockets if you can sell now and come to an agreement. The hot sellers market is spurring my settlement now, with sale of the matrimonial home likely to generate an additional $200k compared to a year ago. Sell sell sell. If you propose something reasonable with standard child support and the rest boiled down to a lump sum I think you will end up far better off.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by UnderPressure View Post
            In addition to the massive expense of dragging this out you are also depriving him of his equity and the ability to build equity and profit from this low interest rate environment.

            There is good news, the real estate market is super hot right now. I think your best move by far would be to sell the house, right now, and come to an agreement. I suggest offering table child support and net everything else out to a lump sum. The house sale can provide the cash for the payout to you. You will both end up with tens of thousands (maybe hundreds of thousands) more in your pockets if you can sell now and come to an agreement. The hot sellers market is spurring my settlement now, with sale of the matrimonial home likely to generate an additional $200k compared to a year ago. Sell sell sell. If you propose something reasonable with standard child support and the rest boiled down to a lump sum I think you will end up far better off.
            The title of the home is in his name only. I have to fight him and win a trust claim because he is refusing to share the increase in the value of the matrimonial home with me. A few people in our neighborhood sold within the last couple of months. I suspect my house will go for 400k to get 600k more than it was worth 5 years ago. This would be a huge windfall for him and a disadvantage for me. An extra 200k or 300k is the difference in me being able to buy or rent.

            Table child support would leave me with less money than he is paying me now. I don't need to pay any of the bills and he gives me support money with no agreement so I don't need to pay taxes on it.

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            • #21
              So make him an offer that you will agree to sell if you split the profits equally rather than the value from four years ago. If it means he can divest the property now he may be more willing to agree.

              I you want something you have to give something in return. It can’t be a list of what you want and he gets nothing.


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              • #22
                This. ^^^

                Getting this done ASAP is going to be the best net financial position for both of you.

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