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  • Parenting Coordination - thoughts?

    I am self-rep. I put forth a Motion to Change my current order to seek 50/50 parenting schedule from a 60/40 parenting schedule. Opposing party responded no, which is no surprise.
    Opposing party is pushing for Parenting Coordination. Why go this route if they did not consent to the Motion to Change? What is the difference between pleading my case to a Judge (displaying the best interests of the children) and pleading my case to a Lawyer/Parenting Coordinator?
    Will it be frowned upon if I don't go through Parenting Coordination?

    Also, is it frowned upon if I choose not to have the children involved in VOC at this point in time? All points to control and manipulation from opposing party, which can be proven (example, other parent cannot care for child due to work schedule, so grandma does all the caring... while I should be the first option).

  • #2
    You are in court. You need to be on your best and most cooperative behaviour. The only reason not to do a PC would be the cost. If you intend to argue it, the only point you make is that you would rather spend the money on the kids.



    Originally posted by kleyopattra View Post
    All points to control and manipulation from opposing party, which can be proven (example, other parent cannot care for child due to work schedule, so grandma does all the caring... while I should be the first option).
    Parents are allowed to choose caregivers during their parenting time. She is certainly allowed to choose her mother instead of you.

    You can make an argument that you should have more parenting time, but don't get too excited here. Her actions are not manipulation, they are just a normal part of divorced parenting.

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    • #3
      We are currently at a 6/14 and no support or offset amount is being exchanged.
      I do pay for my portion of all expenses straight to the other party as she wants control of the purchasing of the children's belongings, etc.
      I am seeking a 50/50 arrangement from the current 60/40 and with clearer wording in our Order to avoid interpretations (i.e. I've lost time due to her interpretation). I'm simply asking for what should have been in place since separation.
      Our current order states that we should try dispute resolution, so I believe this is why they are pushing to settle through PC. However, I have nothing to dispute or negotiate. I am bringing a motion to change something that should have always been since separation.

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      • #4
        Understandable. It started as 20/80 a little after separation, once I was settled into my new home (I left the matrimonial home to her and the children) per the children's lawyer recommendation. A year later, I seeked more time and got 30/70 via a mediation session. In 2018, I seeked 50/50 but only got as far as 60/40 through settlement as we were going to Court the next day. I decided to give it a breather, and now, I am proving again that I am capable of caring for the children 50/50 and that the children are happy here.
        I understand the courts are flooded now. I was going to file a Motion of Contempt because she used Covid to withhold the children from me and I lost 2 weeks of my parenting time (she made up her own Covid rules). However, from what I have been reading, the Court doesn't do much about it and just slaps the offender on the wrist, so I did not bother bringing the urgent motion.
        The other party has already denied the 50/50 in their Response to my Motion to Change. I'm not sure what opportunities can be resolved/negotiated when the outcome to this is a decision from either the opposing party (yes/no) or Judge (yes/no). Then again, that's why I'm here asking the questions. Are you saying that seeking 1 additional every 14 days is best discussed via mediation?

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        • #5
          Yes, I see what you mean in terms of negotiating. But we are already so close. Our parenting schedule would actually make it so that it's 0.5 day more each week; barely noticeable to the kids but just so much less complicated. Not to mention, summer (8 weeks) and Xmas (2 weeks) is already split 50/50!
          In my opinion, there's little adjustment for kids who are 12 and 10.

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          • #6
            Yes I totally agree. I don't want to go to Court.
            But wouldn't the opposing party suggest an alternate proposal instead of flat out saying no "because we're the better parent"?

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            • #7
              Gotcha! Thanks for all the feedback and knowledge sharing. Appreciate it!

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              • #8
                You need a PC with arbitration powers. They will do the unofficial thing and try to get both of you to negotiate and almost always the parents go along with it.
                Last resort is arbitration.

                There are probably good and likely horrible PCs and they have a lot of power you sign off to them. Choose one carefully.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by kleyopattra View Post
                  Yes I totally agree. I don't want to go to Court.
                  But wouldn't the opposing party suggest an alternate proposal instead of flat out saying no "because we're the better parent"?
                  never be afraid of court. if you have a lawyer- trying to avoid court will cost you more.

                  I don't see the issue with a Parental Coordinator.?...if you can take care of the kids 50/50- and you and your ex don't live far apart...I guess I fail to see the issue with a PC. I have only worked with one- but PCs care about the wellbeing of the kid(s).

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Brampton33 View Post
                    Looks WAY better on you to tell judge you tried through a PC (and even offered to stagger the 50/50) and your ex just pouted like a 6 year old.
                    But that's just he said/she said. What if ex says "I explained why additional time won't work with the PC"? I wouldn't use the PC as ally or way to bolster a case. What they are good at is getting parents to parenting plan that benefits the children.

                    Comment

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