Originally posted by arabian
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Truisms Exposed: High Conflict Parents and the OCL
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Originally posted by arabian View PostSimple answer - women who make more money then men are probably intellectually more intelligent and smart enough to settle things out of court.
My partners ex would NOT fall in this category.
Some educated/higher earning women (and men) have the superiority complex which leads to high conflict because they feel right all the time. Having money or brains doesn't always make you smart.
I think its empathy and a self awareness that allows people to settle. Understanding whats best for the kids and not wanting to waste hundreds or thousands help too.
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We should probably ask how these senses of superiority develop.
Famous theorist Alfred Adler said the sense of inferiority is a problem in self-development…...you are threatened by the achievements and possible accomplishments of others, so you try desperately to position yourself above it somehow…with things like sexism, this is more apparent.
For example, he would say not hiring a woman would cause you no threat that she might outshine you. He would say we often do the same types of actions with those of different racial backgrounds as well when we struggle with our sense of self.
According to Adler (and I am inclined to agree), those who are secure in who they are, are not threatened by the achievements of others.
So one might postulate that an individual didn't successfully transition through Eriksson's stages of psychosocial development Erik Erikson | Psychosocial Stages | Simply Psychology would be more susceptible to a superiority complex for a number of reasons.
An unhealthy combination of genetics and life/learning experiences leads to a low self-esteem, self concept, self efficacy (all the self's) which in turn causes some to be threatened by the achievements of others and ultimately a heightened sense of self as a coping mechanism.
These individuals make court "very" complex.
Enough psychology for today.
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Originally posted by arabian View PostMy post was supposed to be humorous...
Family Court is clearly a well-oiled functioning system providing an excellent service to the community.
Some people say, their exists a concept of hypergamy, western women generally marry up. Not sure if it's true - anecdotally doesn't seem the case. Most couples seem of relatively equal value.
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I knew both the posts were tongue in cheek. I made my statement because I worried someone else would take it to be fact. High conflict people are that for a reason and money, employment, background, religion etc are simply excuses.
Although I like Links' idea of a battle in court. It made me wish it was like roman gladiators and you fought each other. Ridiculous people who withhold children? Throw a tiger in there for good measure!
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Originally posted by trinton View PostWrong. I'm not in the Hamilton Court House. I spoke with a lawyer in Hamilton. That does not mean I am in the Hamilton Court House. You must have not read my posts about retaining out of town vs local counsel. Making assumptions and jumping to conclusions now, are we?
Originally posted by trinton View PostAs per eating me alive, I don't drink alcohol, I don't even drink, coffee. None of the things that the father in that case was critisied for are relavant to me.
As a typical HCP you miss the relevant points for which you should be criticising your own conduct on. But, you also missed the spelling of those words so no doubt you will miss a lot of the "little things" that are going to drown your case in conflict.
Originally posted by trinton View PostI'm in much better position.
Originally posted by trinton View PostMy offer to settle to the other party has everything that The Honourable Justice Pazaratz has ordered for the dad in the case you have psoted.
Originally posted by trinton View PostThat man has more holiday access than I do - I don't have any. Gives me every other reason to continue to push through and marsh towards a trial.
Originally posted by trinton View PostThat being said, if I was in fact before the Honourable Justice Pazaratz, quite to the contrary of your statement, OP would be getting eaten alive. Costs would be the icing on the cake.
Good Luck!
Tayken
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Originally posted by Tayken View PostYou are doomed anyways. Your attitude will be your downfall.
Originally posted by Tayken View Postyou also missed the spelling of those words so no doubt you will miss a lot of the "little things" that are going to drown your case in conflict.
Originally posted by Tayken View PostOnly you can know that right now as no one truly knows where you are in your case or what is truly happening. Like Justice Pazaratz says in this case law... I don't believe you.
Originally posted by Tayken View PostFor yourself or for the other party?
Originally posted by Tayken View PostI am not sure what you are "marshing" towards.
Originally posted by Tayken View PostYou keep believing that and you are going to get a big shock to the system when you get your "day in court". My recommendation is that you need to reflect on yourself and your own conduct and stop trying to get lawyers removed from files with silly nonsense, focusing on the other parent, and start focusing on yourself.
You've got to understand, removing a parents lawyer almost 2 years into a court proceeding is not a pleasant situation for anyone. It takes time time to find a new lawyer and to get them up to speed and you have to defend yourself during that time since you don't have a lawyer. That is what the courts did to me and there should really be no "unfairness" if it happened to the other parent as well. What's fair to "mom" should also be fair to "dad".
Doesn't matter, I've found a new lawyer that I like. Retaining him today. Should detach me from the legal aspect so perhaps you could tell me more about this: focusing on the other parent, and start focusing on yourself.
At the end of the day, I'm here to share, learn, and reflect. But if you're going to be the grammar police and make petty accusations about typos and then call my accusations of conflict of interest "non-sense", then I will most certainly respond.Last edited by trinton; 11-18-2016, 12:17 PM.
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As per the case - going back on topic - it seems like the OCL was appointed and the smart lady figured out what was going on- Her supervisor wouldn't let her do her job and was breatging fire over her shoulder: "WE'RE NOT DOING 50/50! WE'RE GIVING CUSTODY TO MOM!! THAT MAN IS ABUSIVE! SHE IS A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE" - the regular non-sense used to gain advantage in court by mother's that have mental health issues.
OCL report get's all fudged up, the OCL person get's frustrated with her supervisor breathing fire over her shoulder, and the report get's dismissed.
OCL assigns someone else who supports women that allege to be "victim of domestic violence" takes her side and with bias, rules in her favour.
The judge, throws out the first report and gives credit to the second report, not realizing that the parents are at rage and will continue to be so if custody is not jointed:
Doctor Frank Williams, director of the Family and Child Psychiatry Programs at Sinai Medical Centre in Los Angeles was referring in a recent address to the American Bar Association[1] when he stated: (as quoted by His Honour Provincial Judge Alan P. Ingram in his address of 4 March 1989 to the Canadian Bar Association of Ontario)
There is the myth in some mental health, legal and judicial thinking that joint custody can only be effectively undertaken by co-operative parents. To the contrary, joint custody provides one of the best methods of stimulating a degree of significant and meaningful co-operation in warring parents who would otherwise continue years of battling to the detriment of their children.
Our experience leads to the conviction that parental identity — if strengthened in both parents — can increase co-operation and that co-operation should not be a criteria for joint custody vs. sole custody schedules for children. During the ensuing years, after custodial orders are in place, children of parents who remain highly unco-operative suffer greatly, and suffer just as much in unilateral sole custody as in joint custody arrangements.
Judge Ingram commented:
He stated that he found that the essential minimum co-operation needed by parents in maintaining a relationship between each parent and the children, develops more rapidly under a joint custody order or agreement. In sole custody situations, the non-custodial parent feels a loss of parental identity or a victim of psychological or “legal parentectomy”, resulting in feelings of powerlessness, depression and rage.
(See page 18 of Judge Ingram’s address).
https://www.canlii.org/en/on/oncj/do...resultIndex=36
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They started living together in January 2000.
d. They separated on July 4, 201462. DeGeer testified about his recommendation that the Applicant be granted sole custody. He explained:
b. Taylor has been residing with the Applicant since separation.166. The bottom line for the Respondent (and for all litigants):
a. When a court makes orders in custody/access cases, those orders have to be obeyed.
b. If you don’t like the order, appeal it.
Based on a different case:
[14] The status quo is the one that existed prior to separation and not what is created after separation. See Kimpton v. Kimpton, 2002 CanLII 2793 (ON SC), 2002 CanLII 2793 (S.C.J.)
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