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  • #16
    Disclosure meeting coming in next two weeks. I'm confident but anxious.

    As I understand it, my ex and her lawyer, myself and my lawyer and the clinicial investigator are present.

    Are you allowed to bring anyone else (e.g. family member) in?

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    • #17
      Disclosure meeting happened today. Sole custody for me recommended.

      I am not only very relieved and satisfied by the recommendations, but also saddened by the extent of Mom's problems.

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      • #18
        I'm sure your excited that the recommendations are in your favour. Its definalty a sigh of relief!

        Do you have your next court appearance scheduled? In my settlement conference my ex agreed on consent to me having sole custody and him having supervised visitation.

        mominont

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        • #19
          We're booking the settlement conference now, but her lawyer is dragging on agreeing to a date (not surprising). They are booking dates into early February now.

          Was the judge at all trying to pressure your ex into agreement at the settlement conference? I heard that if the other side doesn't agree that the judge will refer it to trial without trying to be too persuasive.

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          • #20
            I got so very lucky!

            The judge we had, her first afternoon appointment cancelled. The judge had so much patience with my ex, she persuaded my ex to agree. We were in court from 1-3:30. The judge talked to my ex for at least 45mins uninterrupted. My lawyer told me if I had any other judge we wouldn't have been so lucky and most likely would have left the settlement conference and be booking a motion.

            I hope it goes just as easy for yourself, but definatly plan for the costs of a motion.

            mominont

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            • #21
              Has anyone ever had the OCL recommendations materially set aside by a judge? My ex seems convinced that the OCL receommendations don't matter. I think she's not seeing things as they are.

              We have a settlement conference very soon and she is of the mind that "things can only can better for her" vs the status quo, which is time spent roughly equally. Sole custody has been recommended for me.

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              • #22
                I am just working on my response to oppose the motion brought forward by my wife to reverse the custody order in her favour. My lawyer is going to ask for OCL appointment. She is also telling me that OCL recommendation is only one out of many other factors that the judges consider before issuing a judgement.

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                • #23
                  Hi

                  You need to have the grounds before requesting for OCL involvement.If your ex also agrees then Judge might give you a order to file the application but OCL might refuse to take the case.Why are you so much worried about he custody.The courts are unlikely to change the status quo so chill.

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                  • #24
                    The OCL, being of limited resources tends to take on high conflict, extreme type cases i.e. substance abuse, mental illness.

                    From your limited description, it does odd that your lawyer has suggested getting the OCL involved.

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                    • #25
                      OCL is for the children only not for the fueding parents.......OCL deals with children and their wishes.....not what a parent wants....they can see through if a child has been prompted or coersed into it...usually OCL is opted for children who are above the age of 12 or maturity level is above that.......not for younger ones......when I went through my custody the judge advised me that if my child wanted to change the order it would be up to me to contact OCL after he reached 12 to have an OCL work with him and I WOULD NOT be part of it..........three years later my child has not asked for OCL to be involved (although came close a few times) but not as of to date.......
                      hope that helps........

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                      • #26
                        Just to close this out...

                        Obtained sole custody at a trial management conference.

                        Looking back over the past year and a while, it was not intrusive in a day to day sense, just always an event coming up - numerous OCL appointments and case conferences and settlement conferences and trial management conference and motions. You always feel that your life is at the mercy of the glacial court system.

                        I don't feel like a winner, just very relieved. I anticipated that there would be a letdown after it was over, and there has been, but boy am I glad it's over.

                        Two pearls of wisdom have stuck with me throughout this, both provided by a lawyer who spoke at the Family Information Session that everyone is supposed to go through at the outset of a court application.

                        The lawyer said to a group of around 100 people...

                        1)You're going through a life changing process, don't let it be a life defining process.

                        (That's difficult to do in the midst of it, but good advice)

                        2)Now that you're in the court process, you should have one objective and that is to get out of the court process.

                        (Didn't manage to do that one very effectively, but again, great advice.


                        All the best to everyone and thanks for this web site.

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                        • #27
                          Yes, this is a late reply, but yes, the OCL was in my favor or Joint Custody and equal access and the judge ignored it.

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                          • #28
                            Was that at trial, or at a conference?

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                            • #29
                              Perhaps motion...

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                              • #30
                                What I was driving at was the OCL recommnations carry considerable weight and it would be quite a lot more conceivable that the recommendations would be dismissed on consent of the parties at a conference where they would not be scrutinized the way they would at a trial.

                                In other words, he may have settled based on an judge's opinion and not a rigorous courtroom test at trial. If so, it would have been on his consent, notwithstanding that pressure may have been exerted on him by the judge.

                                A motion does not deal with all the issues, but focuses on interim relief until the matter is heard at trial or settled. But it is part of the continuing record and is formal. So I would be very surprised if a judge formally dismissed the OCL recommendations at a motion where they wouldn't have been subjected to such scrutiny.

                                It's also possible that the recommendations became stale-dated if the matter was allowed to drag through case management for a long enough time after the report was issued.

                                I asked a friend who used to be a clinical investigator at the OCL how often the OCL recommendations are implemented and she told me informally that they are followed 80% of the time. Another friend familiar with the OCL confirmed that.

                                Comment

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