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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 10-12-2021, 09:29 PM
LMum LMum is offline
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Best to ask your lawyer about entitlement and tell the lawyer you want brutal truth not a �welllllllll�.� kind of response.
Yes I will do that. I'm actually very happy with my lawyer, she's good.

On that note, we did have a separation agreement (Jan 2020) that we did on our own with witnesses but no legal advice (he talked to a lawyer but never retailed one at the time). He waived SS in the agreement. Fast forward to late 2020 I got served and the only thing that they asked was to set aside the agreement. No SS. He is now on his second lawyer where they asked to amend the pleadings for SS.

He only stayed home for the one year cause he was able to draw EI so it made sense not to send our child to daycare.

I make just over $100, he makes about $50 right now. Like I said, he is a out of control spender and now that he has more financial freedom, aka - I'm not telling him we cant afford STUFF.... he has been getting tattoos, going golfing every weekend, etc. those things were not done in our marriage, or at least not often.

So looks like I will get 86% parenting time (I could tell you all stories to make your toes curl) and he will get a portion of my pension, I've come to terms with that. But SS is a hard pill to swallow.
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  #12  
Old 10-12-2021, 09:34 PM
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
A Ex sounds like he wants to avoid child support or push his agenda so he is claiming spousal as a way to scare OP into giving him what he wants.
I think your right, I do think its a way to avoid paying CS. Still scary.
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  #13  
Old 10-13-2021, 01:01 AM
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The sauce that is good for the Goose is good for the Gander.
The court can't blow hot and cold at the same time.

There is a high probability that this matter SS will be ordered. Happens to the highest income earner all the time. Gender doesn't matter.

The door of equality swings both ways for all genders and sexual orientation.

Waver or not. If there is a massive income difference between two people leaving a marriage there will usually be SS.

Doesn't matter if the high income earner is a woman, man or alien from another planet. SS knows no gender and a good lawyer (if the other party has one) will bring all the same arguments that have won females SS in the past.

Be prepared. Man, woman, alien from another planet... SS swings hard both ways. Especially with your admissions that he stayed home with the child. How is this different than any argument that many women make?
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  #14  
Old 10-13-2021, 07:33 AM
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Especially with your admissions that he stayed home with the child. How is this different than any argument that many women make?
He stayed home for less then one year, my child is 12 years old now. It was only while he was drawing EI and he didn't sacrifice anything for me, or my career. It was more to save money on daycare since he was at home.
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  #15  
Old 10-13-2021, 12:06 PM
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He stayed home for less then one year, my child is 12 years old now. It was only while he was drawing EI and he didn't sacrifice anything for me, or my career. It was more to save money on daycare since he was at home.
Again, this argument has been made by "men" countless times and it didn't stick. It won't stick for you unfortunately. More women need to point out the imbalances in the whacky world of "spousal support".

Even judges have pointed out how whack the SS Guidelines are. Justice Quinn famously said:

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[158] I come now to the issue of spousal support, historically the roulette of family law (blindfolds, darts and Ouija boards being optional).
Funny to point that even Justice Cornell agrees:

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At one point, it appeared that I would have no choice but to resort to the use of the dart or Ouija board referred to by Quinn J. in Bruni v. Bruni 2010 ONSC 6568 (CanLII), [2010] O.J. No. 5148 (S.C.).
Suffice to say... The missing magic 8-ball in the equation that judges use to determine SS is never mentioned.

Get ready to have every argument used against a high income earner thrown at you to make their case for SS. It may not stick but, often it does stick. Your counter argument is weak btw but, you said you have a lawyer so they will respond properly to all these claims. You may not like it but, the "no big deal" argument in response to the sacrifices of a parent staying home with a child rarely ever work.

I don't think "spouses" should be supporting each other after separation. I am on your side and agree its a silly claim but, until a majority of high income earning women point out the nonsense it will just continue to be nonsense.
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  #16  
Old 10-13-2021, 01:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
You may not like it but, the "no big deal" argument in response to the sacrifices of a parent staying home with a child rarely ever work.
(
There was never a sacrifice, he qualified for EI (in a way that I wont mention here but you get the idea). He never ever quit his job for me or his child. It was selfish on his part but oddly convenient for us at the time, if that makes any sense.

Trust me, this man has never made one sacrifice for me or our son. It was self motivated and then "used" to make himself look good.

But I understand I may have a fight on my hands. I will leave that up to him and his lawyer to prove it.
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  #17  
Old 10-14-2021, 10:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Tayken View Post

I don't think "spouses" should be supporting each other after separation. I am on your side and agree its a silly claim but, until a majority of high income earning women point out the nonsense it will just continue to be nonsense.
I would be curious to see the case law around this if it DOES stick.

For the OP, my ex used the threat of SS against me- I earned almost 2x as much as he did when we separated (155 v. 85) and at a meeting with our lawyers his lawyer tried to make it seem like he was SO benevolent because he wasn't even asking for SS and reserved the right to do so. My lawyer basically laughed in her face. Well, not laughed- but smirked and said "You can certainly try to make that claim". They never did.

Like your ex- they were trying to claim it to offset CS, and as a general bargaining tactic. Didn't work. I wouldn't worry about it for now.
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  #18  
Old 10-14-2021, 11:03 AM
pinkHouses pinkHouses is offline
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I want to know too! My lawyer told me no way around spousal support.
How was it your ex was not entitled to it and why was your lawyer so confident?
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  #19  
Old 10-14-2021, 12:46 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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I want to know too! My lawyer told me no way around spousal support.
Might have been in reference to your case. There are a number of factors that result in spousal support and your case may have had a few. Including length of marriage, income of each party, sacrifices the recipient made to support your career etc.
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  #20  
Old 10-14-2021, 12:47 PM
ifonlyihadknown ifonlyihadknown is offline
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
He would have to prove entitlement and refusing to work or having a pattern of quitting jobs may work against him.

Funny, my ex refused to work and had a pattern of quitting jobs but I was told by everyone, including people on this forum, that all this meant was that I agreed to this (I didn't) and therefore was on the hook for support.

Hopefully the OP will have better luck than I did.
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