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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 11-02-2021, 05:25 PM
DHTO DHTO is offline
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Default Rebuttal to Ex's refusing 50:50

Hi everyone,

Right now I have my kids EOW, but fighting for 50:50. My ex feels that it is not in the kids interest to see me 50:50, but is ok with EOW. No court order, no formal agreement, just the ex unilaterally stating what the situation is.

My case conference is coming up at the beginning of January where I will be filing a motion for increased parenting time.

Even Stevie Wonder could see between the lines on this one.

Is there any surefire rebuttal to her position? One that exposes that she is not looking out for the kids' best interest as opposed to her bank account?
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  #2  
Old 11-02-2021, 07:50 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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You could ask for primary custody and your ex have EOW. Stick to this position for awhile then gradually negotiate to 50/50
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Old 11-02-2021, 08:29 PM
StillPaying StillPaying is offline
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Unfortunately it's very common. Keep pressure going through court.
It shouldn't take long assuming no issues. Case conference will hopefully open their eyes and if not, a motion will show the financial consequences.
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Old 11-03-2021, 02:36 PM
Kkc Kkc is offline
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unfortunately, when parents somehow get put into being every other weekend instead of 50/50, it makes a difficult battle.

The ex saying not in best interest for 50:50, well there better be good reasons.
But the longer you go at EOW, the harder it can be.
Good luck
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  #5  
Old 11-03-2021, 03:34 PM
Brampton33 Brampton33 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kkc View Post
The ex saying not in best interest for 50:50, well there better be good reasons.
Most don't have good reasons when pressed to answer that question. The real reason is money. EOW=Table CS. 50/50=Offset CS. It is in 95^ of cases about the money.

To quote my ex during our proceedings:
Judge to ex: "If you are ok with 5/14, why are you not ok with 6/14?"
Ex: "Because it has to be 5 your honour"
Judge: "We are talking about 2 overnights per month....why 5 and not 6?"
Ex (frantic): "Because it HAS to be 5 your honour!!! It has to!!"
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Old 11-05-2021, 12:19 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brampton33 View Post
Most don't have good reasons when pressed to answer that question. The real reason is money. EOW=Table CS. 50/50=Offset CS. It is in 95^ of cases about the money.

To quote my ex during our proceedings:
Judge to ex: "If you are ok with 5/14, why are you not ok with 6/14?"
Ex: "Because it has to be 5 your honour"
Judge: "We are talking about 2 overnights per month....why 5 and not 6?"
Ex (frantic): "Because it HAS to be 5 your honour!!! It has to!!"
The flip side of this is that some parents actually request JUST enough to get themselves over 40% without even caring for 50/50.

My ex and his sister sat in front of me actually adding up the days when we were trying to settle our matter near the beginning. I offered up EOW + Wednesday nights- and he jumped at it right way. His sister sat beside him counting the days. When I asked if he was going to start paying his CS (he had refused at that time)- he said "well, EOW and wedensday nights gets me to 40% doesn't it?"....at that time, I had not even heard of the 60/40 distinction. I told him and his sister to politely fuck off.

At some point he's going to take a run at me for 50/50- and I'll offer to take CS out of the picture. I am 99.9% sure he will then leave it alone.

Some parents actually prefer to be <40% parent. Everyone is going to have their own opinion about that...but I think it can be fine. As long as there is a relationship between the non-custodial parent and the kids and a strong bond- and it's not about the $$$$- parents should just be trusted to do what THEY think is best for their kids.
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  #7  
Old 11-05-2021, 03:27 PM
pinkHouses pinkHouses is offline
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Ditching 60/40 for something like 80/20 would stop a whole lot of BS.

Tax credits are too...if you are supporting your child with money then that kinda means they are dependent on you.

I have less experience than the powers that be.
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